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I definitely want more than ONE kid...I'm an only child, but I got the opportunity of growing up with "older sisters" because my mom helped take care of her sibs kids. It was a pretty lonely 9 years before they came along, & I only got to live with them in the house for about 4 years. DEFINITELY want 2 or 3 kids. Luckily, FI is happy to have two since he grew up as the older of two boys. We're agreed that we'll try for two & leave the possibility of a third up to God.
Yes! We would both be very happy with one, since we were both only children and generally, liked it quite a bit. The problem, though, is that FI really wants a boy and I really want a girl...so we might end up with two! But we certainly do not want more than two, even if we don't end up with "one of each". We loved being onlys and would like to raise a similar sort of family!
Eh... it is still up in the air actually. I think he likes the idea of 1 child, while I'm more inclined to have 2. The only reason I really want 2 kids, is so the other one won't be lonely. I was lonely growing up, even though I have 4 older brothers, but they were all out of the house by the time I was 6 years old, so I always felt alone. I want our child to have someone to play with and grow up with.
I grew up the eldest of 3 girls and DH is an only child. We are basically agreed on 2. DH will occasionally do or say something and I'll just roll my eyes and say "only child" - his mother did her best but there is only so much you can do. I think it's unfair to only have one - the child is always outnumbered by parents. At least make the playing sides even :) Plus, it is really a great thing to share your childhood with others. No one else can ever understand your family like your siblings. My sisters and I aren't particularly close but we still share so much and can laugh at the same memories and it's a really great bond to have, one I wouldn't want to deny anyone. That said, we're not even close to TTC (or even thinking about it) so all this could change one day.
I have a lot more aunts, uncles and cousins than my FI does and that has definitely influenced me to want to have a bigger family. He always tells me that we can have as many children as we can be responsible for financially. I love that answer because it doesn't put a limit or create high expectations
Well, I am the oldest of 3 children and FI is an only child. We want two kids for a few reasons: A) I'm hoping for a girl and a boy and we agree that we would idealy like one of each, B) FI always wanted a sibling and I enjoyed mine so we figured that having more than one would be good. I think 3 would be a bit much for us to handle not to mention that my profession doesn't exactly bring in the big bucks.
Of course, we'll see what happens after the first one, LOL
I was 9 before my sister was born, so I feel like I have a good understanding of what it means to be a sibling and an only child. I want 2 because I found being an only child very lonely, and I personally think I become less selfish after my sister was born.
FI is the youngest of 3, but is the only one raised by his parents. He has some issues with his siblings, so he is happy with one. At the moment we say we are going to start with one and take it from there.
Is it awful that part of my wants more than 2 just because FI always talks about how his family was perfect and the way they did things and reasons for doing so were "right", and he was 1 of 2? It's like my wiay of showing him "Nah uh, 3 (or more) can be good too (especially since I was 1 of 4)" Haha;)
I adore kids and want as many as we can afford and comfortably and properly raise. Being 1 of 4, I liked being part of a bigger family, and was jealous that all my cousins were 1 of 5 kkids (my parents were 1 of 5 and 1 of 6, prolly would have had more themselves but had MAJOR issues conceiving!!).
I always wanted one child until recently. (I'm an only-child myself-he has a brother) Now, I think I want two so they won't be lonely. Sibling bonds seem so wonderful to me and of course I didn't have that. PLUS, I would like to have a girl and boy. Having fraternal twins (boy/girl) would be just perfect. :) I know the chances on this one are super slim, but you never know!
Initially, I wanted two (I'm 1 of 2) and he wanted three (he's 1 of 3!) I think we're both just used to how we grew up and it feels right. Now, I think we're both open to just seeing how life is going. I definitely want more than 1, but since I plan to be a working mother don't think I'd be able to handle more than 3....so we'll just see how we feel after 2.
Okay, I'm torn on this one.
I love how bigger families (4 or more children) come together and interact as adults. In my later years I would love to be surrounded by 4 or more grown adult children.
However, for now I can't even imagine raising 4 little ones!!!! I was 1 of 2 and DH was 1 of 4.
Realistically we'll probably have 2 because of time, energy and space! However, if I could ever persuade DH, I might try for 3 or 4 just for kicks ;)
We agreed on 2-3. We both want 3, but obviously as we have no kids now, we're not sure if we'll change our minds after 2 or not! I was worried previously about affording 3 kids, but he will be an accountant and I will be a teacher so combined we should be more than fine.
Yes, that's how it is for us!
I'm the only, R is one of two.
I was pretty miserable during a lot of my childhood situations. We moved 7 times, all in different towns and a few states. It wasn't for any real reason except that my mom always thinks somewhere else will be better. As an only child, I was horribly lonely and had a hard time making friends after awhile, because I got so little socialization at home and always felt we'd be moving again soon.
My mom was also a little, er, crazy, and being the only child meant that it was always directed at me. There are a lot of situations that would have been much better if I had someone to shoulder the responsibility of not letting my parents down/giving them the attention they wanted. Example: when I was 16, they were adamant that I get a part-time job and save for college, pay for clothes, groceries, and my cell phone. About two months into the job, I came home and my mom screamed at me that I was never home, I hated them, etc. To this day she still does that to me (I don't live at home...) and I think it would have happened a lot less if I had had a sibling.
R was pretty happy having a sibling! She came first, so she was a little more spoiled in some things (she got to pick out a new car when she was 15 that she had unlimited access to all throughout high school, and considered hers) but the FILs soon realized many of those things spoiled her, and R didn't always get the same treatment. For a little while he was bitter, but he's really grateful now. His all around family situation was much better than mine, and it makes it way easier on R and his sister that there's someone else to shoulder the responsibilities.
Wow, that was long! Sorry!
@Twalia- I'm sort of the same too! My husband thinks 2 kids, a boy and a girl (girl being the older one), close in age is just absolutely perfect, because that's what he had. But, um, I was one of four and I turned out pretty dang well if I do say so myself!
But, I would like to have 3. growing up as 1 of 4, it always seemed like one person was getting left out or picked on or something and I'd joke to my mom she had one kid too many. It made sharing a lot harder with 4. We weren't rich by any means, and there were quite a few times where I wouldn't have even classified us as "well off" so we only had so many resources to go around. One tv, one computer, one of a certain toy, etc. It definitely caused fighting and in boredom, it usually left one kid picked on. When it was just the 3 of us (maybe one went to a birthday party, or a friends house, didn't matter which one as gone) we got along much better. Even my dad commented on this before and agreed with my observation. I love having siblings though, and I liked having extended family too (my mom was one of 4 and so was my dad, but we never spoke with my dad's side). but from my experiences, 4 was pushing it.
I will say that I'm very bad about sharing food now that I'm grown lol Too many times my parents would buy a snack and someone else would eat it all before everyone got to have some. As we got older and could buy our own stuff sometimes, we'd have to write our name on it so nobody took it, and even that wasn't always a sure thing. Now I hate sharing food. Old habits die hard lol It doesn't help that my husband is a bottomless pit and "one bite" is a ginormous see-how-much-can-fit-in-your-mouth bite or "one sip" really equals gulping half of it... but yeah, definitely a result of having to fight over getting enough of the junk food lol None of us were over weight though!
I'm one of 3, FI is one of 2. We want 3 children, but are only willing to do 2 biological. It's an ethical thing for us - not overpopulationg, etc. I work in D.C.'s child welfare system, so I've always been very open to fostering and adopting children. FI is not so into adoption - his not-immediate family had a difficult experience with their adopted children.. But I'm working on him. :)
Just one... since I kind of think my mom reads me on here, I'm not going to say why! 
I'd like 2. I'm 1 of 2 and FH is 1 of 2. We both agree that although we didn't get along with our siblings all the time, having that constant childhood companion - even though sometimes it was forced upon us - was invaluable.
Kind of interesting. I never thought that our decision on how many children we wanted could have been influenced by how many siblings we have.
We both have a few brothers and sisters and would love to have atleast 2-4 children. No more than 4 though. I like the idea of my children being aunts and uncles someday, since I have a lot of them. Maybe that's where my influence came from?
I'm one of 4 and Fi is an only child. I've always wanted 2-3, and thankfully FI agreed- he said he would have loved a sibling, but his parents weren't able to have any more children.
Ha, if we had the means and I left it up to my hubby we would have 10 kids, lol. But since I am the rational one and the one giving birth we had agreed on 4. I was one of 3 and he was 1 of 2 but we both love large families. We chose 4 for many reasons but the not so important reasoning I have is that I like even numbers. It's not difficult but annoying (probably not the best word either) when one person is left out for rides and such growing up. There was always 1 odd man out.
Ultimately, our decision will be left up to what we can afford. We want the "perfect" amount of kids that will not leave us struggling. My hubby went through that so we don't need to put our kids through that at all.
I want 3 because it's really sad being an only child now as an adult. I feel sorta left out in the blue a little bit. If there are 2, you only have one sibling and if you don't get along, I feel like there's a missing dynamic. I really want 2-3 but would settle with 2. I really do want 3 though. If we only have 1 biologically, we will adopt a second because it's just we both are very against. 4 is just too many for me, though, although if it accidentally happens I'll take it. Just not on purpose =].
Along the lines of what was said above, I don't want 3 children to the extent that we can't properly afford to take care of them, though. I want to help them with college, their first cars, etc, and often with larger families, the kids end up 100% on their own for so much of this and end up shouldering more financial burden than i want my children to when they are 18. I don't want to have to pull back from being a supportive parent because we have X more mouths to feed at home. So we'll see. A friend of mine has 6 siblings...I admire her for what she's been able to accomplish but I won't do that to my own children. We're hovering at 2-3. We'll be starting before DH is 30 and I want us completely done by the time he's 35. So yes, 2-3 kids within a 5 year time span. So we'll see. I have a feeling I'll win with my "i want 3" thing.
Fi and I are hoping for 2 healthy children. If he wanted 3, I'd be fine with that too, but I definitely want more than 1.
I have 1 younger brother and we're 8-yrs apart, so I was an only child for awhile. Growing up alone for me wasn't as lonely and I don't think it's a negative thing at all. I attribute certain traits to my younger years playing alone: for instance my independance and imagination, a little of my creativity and assertiveness too. But as much as I like my alone time, I want to have 2 children.
The Fi is the middle child with an older sister and younger brother. He has a pretty good relationship with his siblings, but he's definitely closer to his brother.
Two children would be perfect for us. Why? I don't really know, but knowing they can play with each other just seems so nice. 3 kids would be hard since I'm an 'ol lady. I'm turning 33 this year.
I come from a family of four and want three children; my husband is an only child and gets nervous sometimes when we talk about having more than two children.
I think the number of siblings we personally had is definitely influencing our decision about how many children we'd like to have. Because of his experience as an only child, he's adamant that he wants our children to have siblings, and I always think of my childhood when I think about how many kids I'd like to have.
Yes. I want more kids than were in our family growing up (3) because I always wanted a sister and we almost never had friends over, so it would have been more fun to have more people to play with. I don't want any LESS than 3, because my best friend's family was just her and her little brother, and they never really seemed to play together or want to hang out a lot, but if there was somebody else with them, they would be fine.
We don't really have an upper limit on the number of kids we want, but we don't want to go over what we can afford. That's different for us than some people though, because we don't believe it's necessary for us to buy our kids cars, pay for their college tuition, etc. Both my DH and I have basically been on our own financially since we were eighteen, and while we made some dumb choices, we had enough training and emotional support from our parents that we made it okay.
Im an only and FI is the youngest of 3. I have a daughter already, so we have agreed to one more (so 2 in all). If children weren't so expensive maybe we would have more, but kids aren't cheap!
I have one brother and one sister. My husband has two brothers. But only one really ever lived with him growing up. And when he was 14 his mom got remarried and his 3 step-brothers moved in. So there were 5 boys in his house. He only wants 2 kids because of this, lol. But I want more than that because I want my grandkids to have lots of cousins and aunts and uncles. More than what my kids will have. I also think the reason he wants 2 is because his step-brothers picked on him, but they are all his age or older, so they were all teenagers when they lived together. I think he will warm to more kids, I would ideally like to have 4, but we'll see.
We both have 1 older brother and we both want 2 kids but we will have 3 if we have 2 of the same sex and want to try for another. But we will not have more than 3!
I'm the oldest of 3 girls and my husband was an only child before gaining a step-sister when he was 9 or so. Although that definitely influenced our "preferred numbers", we both want two biological kids. I liked growing up with 3 of us and so I definitely am more open to the idea of more than he is but I don't want to contribute to the world's overpopulation either. I'm really liking the idea of adoption but we'll see how it goes.
I say some pretty random crap because my mind wanders a lot. So one night before we were even dating, I was out with my now boyfriend and a bunch of our other friends, and I snapped out of my trance like state, stared him right in the eye and said, "I think you should know that I want three kids." It made sense to tell him in my mind, but it was totally out of left field for him. We're both from two children families, but I don't like symetry, so three it is. :)
We're both from families of 2 kids. In both, the boy was oldest, girl was youngest. We want a Min. of 2, prefer 3-5+ ;-)
I know a LOT of people in large families. And I'm talking 7+ kids big.... and they are all amazing, as is their families. If it was possible, I would be amped to have a huge family :-)
I was one of two, although my brother is so much older than me that he moved out when I was in 5th grade so I was kind of an only child. I'm not really sure how many I want... for a long time I wasn't sure I wanted any at all. Part of me likes the idea of 2 because it is balanced and I don't want to get outnumbered. But, all my aunts and uncles have more kids, 3 or 4 each and it seems really nice that those sibling groups are so close. I'm not really close to my brother at all and I love how my cousins all kind of had kids at the same time and they hang out together and their spouses are each others' friends. So for that reason sometimes I think I'd like to have more... like maybe 4. But I am scared that I couldn't actually raise 4 kids and not be broke and/or go nuts!
FI was also one of two and he wants 1, maybe 2. He says absolutely no more than 2 and we'll have to negotiate even on the second. :) I guess I figure we'll play it by ear.
Thought: If I had 4 kids and tried to space them about 2 years apart... I'd be pregnant for like almost a decade. yikes... maybe 2 is the way to go...
Ha. Hubby's quote is '1 and done'. Mine is 'There's no number smaller than 2' :) I tease him that having one child is child abuse (I REALLY DON'T THINK THIS - it's just a joke... so don't take it the wrong way - I fully support those who only want to have one child!)
We both come from two. I have an older brother (19 mos). He has an older sister (3.5 years). My bro and I became best friends around middle school. It was much later in life when he developed a somewhat close relationship with his sister.
It'll be 2 at least. Part of me hopes after 2 he'll love being a dad SOOO much that he wants to add another 1 or 2... but we'll see :) Our ability to raise them financially, physically, and emotionally will definitely come into play. Sometimes I don't see how parents of 4 can make it to every soccer game. Plus it's a lot easier to afford traveling with a family of 4 than a family of 6. All thoughts that'll go into our decisions.
Currently we're preggers and I'm definitely pulling for a boy first because I LOVED having an older brother :)
not really sure it's the same reason - but "technically" both mr. junebride and i only have one blood-sibling (he also has a step brother who he's closer to than he is his sister).
but his step-bro was out of the house by the time his dad and sep-mom got married so really he only grew up with his sister in the house with him - and me it was just me and my bro...
that being said we only want 2. it's funny cuz growing up i always said I wanted at LEAST 3 but now that i'm married and ready to start a family 2 is the absolute most!
I have 6 siblings, FI has one (she is 16 years younger than him). I already have a 12 year old...he has a 19 year old and a 24 year old. We have agreed to 2 more....but he is lobbying for 4 more...he is CRAZY. He plans on retiring early so he CLAIMS he will be the one chauffering the little ones around...we'll see. I love kids but I was definitely lost in the shuffle as a child...I wouldn't want that to be the case with any kids we have.
Me: one 1/2 sister that is 10 years youger that I only lived with for 4 years.
Him: 4 brothers
We both want two kids
*** It's hard to have more than one kid living in Manhattan
FI has 2 older half-siblings and one younger full-sibling. Due to the huge age gap (his youngest older sibling is 13 years older then him!) he really only grew up with his younger brother. I have 2 siblings- 1 older and 1 younger. We both want two kids together. My phiolosphy is thus- all the only kids I knew growing up were lonely and spoiled. As a middle kid, I was Always lost/forgotten between my rebellious older sister and my perfect angel little brother. i love having two siblings, but being stuck in the middle truly sucks. i'd never want to do that to any child of mine. Plus, since twins and triplets run rampent through both my mom's and dad's sides of the families (my dad is a twin, as was his grandfather, etc!), my chances of having twins (or triplets! yikes!) nautrally are pretty high I figure. I always say that if I were lucky, I'd have twins right off and be done with it!
Meh, I was never that lonely, though I was really spoiled. I think I turned out okay, and I pretty much never desired a sibling. When my mom would bring it up, I would be SO ANGRY. I love being an only child. I think it allows parents to form deeper bonds with their children simply because they get more time. And it's awesome being the sole benefactor of your parents' resources! But since FI and I have differing opinions on what sex we want our baby to be, two it is, assuming I don't have fertility problems by the time we get around to TTC...
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...Of how many siblings you had growing up? Do you and your SO have different ideas of what the "ideal" number is because of your families? (Inspired by this thread)
I'm one of five, SO has one younger brother, and I want more kids than he does. I'm glad he warmed up to the idea of more than two after getting a taste of my family's craziness. :P It's hard for me to imagine a life with a small family, but it might be harder for him to imagine a big family!
How about you and yours? :)