Do you wish you could unlove someone from your current/past relationships?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

My personal belief is that nothing in life is a waste of time… people may argue with me but everyone learns something from every relationship they’ve ever had.  I can’t say I know one person who didn’t learn something from a bad relationship because they always tell me “I didn’t know he’d be like that” or “I would have never guessed my uncle would treat my mom like that”… the underline of both those statements was that you learned how people can be and to watch out for the signs in future relationships.

Post # 3
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Nope, I think all my experiences have led me to who I am, good and bad. 

Post # 4
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

bluesparkles:  I think they’ve all had a purpose. I follow the teachings of Buddhism so I believe that every life experience is a potential opportunity. Even if the lesson is just a practice in forgiveness: practice makes perfect! Even when I have made the wrong decision, I try to learn from it. I will say that sometimes it takes years and years for me to figure out what the lesson was, haha, but usually I know it’s in there somewhere. 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

JenGirl:  this.

I don’t speak to any family from either side, including my parents. My mother’s side has always been non existent, and my dad and his side are a bunch of mean and judgmental drunks.

The only thing I can say, is my (non)relationship with them has had a hand in making me who I am. If it weren’t for my shitty parents, I wouldn’t be exactly who I am, right now.

As for still loving them? Don’t know. Haven’t thought about it. Its hard to love people who use you and treat you like crap, on top of constant criticism and judgment. I’d definitely say I’m happier and way better off without their shit.

Post # 6
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yep. I know there are lessons in everything buuuuuuut do I wish I could simply hit the “unfollow” button? YES.

Post # 7
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

Nick- first love taught me the difference between being with someone for love and someone for convenience. 

Callum- taught me that sex is important and to make a relationship work I really needed to be attracted to them.

Ben- taught me to trust my instincts when it comes to cheating. 

Allan- I thought I coukd change him… I learnt if you need to change a man he ain’t worth it.

Stuart- learnt that after all the fat insults he gave me, his cheating, his drinking, his abusive behaviour, his valuing of possessions more than people that he was insecure little man that took it out on me.

Phil- learnt that every woman deserves a man like mine. I kissed so many frogs for my prince. The one thing that’s better than knowing he’s with me,  is knowing he’s the father of my baby. 

 

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

bluesparkles:  To answer your question in the title: No. The number of people whom I have loved over the years is very little. Of course, my family/part of extended family is included in that, but I also have my FILs and FI that I love, as well as 2 dear friends. I don’t think I would ever want to unlove any of these people. Even if they ended up hurting me, I don’t think I would ever want to forget the feeling of love they gave me and that I had for them. I could see myself STOP loving them, but never wishing to unlove them. (This is, of course, not creeping in to the what-if category, as I am sure there are some what-if scenarios that would make me change my mind.)

As for relationships giving me a lesson or being a waste of time – both. Some of them have given me a lesson that, in hindsight, was a complete waste of time to learn, but that in itself is a lesson really… so yeah, all have had lessons. Do I wish I could forget about some things – yes and no. Yes, if I could retain the lessons I learned but forget the memory, but no because in this hypothetical situation I would then forget the lesson as well as the memory. 

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