Post # 1
My Fiance and I have both explored in the sexual category with other people…. I used to never regret any choices I had made regarding sex but now that I have found THE ONE… I feel guilty almost , does anyone else feel this way? Feel free to express yourself, judgement free zone! I wish that I had only slept with him and not the other people I have regardless if it was before/after the wedding. I just was wondering if anyone else wished they had given their whole selfs to their Fiance ?
Post # 3
I don’t feel guilty… anymore, but yes… I wish I would’ve understood what gift that was so that I could have given that to my FH…
Post # 4
Honestly, no. I feel like sexuality is so important with someone you love, and I couldn’t imagine marrying someone without knowing what intercourse with them is like.
I don’t feel that way about other people, just about my personal experience.
Post # 5
I feel pretty guilty of my past, I wish I would have waited. My current bf did wait until he met me, and that makes me feel even more guilty. But he forgives me, and asked me to forgive myself and instead be thankful, cause it made me into who I am today. I still wish I would’ve waited though.
Post # 6
Yes but I’d have to give back my daughter which is obviously a no-go.
Post # 7
@napabridekelsey: I understand that, maybe not even being a virgin before getting married but being a virgin until you found the man you wanted and knew you would marry. For instance, my best friend has dated the same guy for 3 years and only slept with him, then theres me who has slept with more than just 1 man and I feel like I wish I would have waited until finding the one.. if that helps explain my feelings
Post # 8
Well, my first was Fiance and I was FI’s first…but we certainly didn’t wait for marriage. We’ve been “living in sin” for almost 3 years now, lol. I don’t regret it at all. I also don’t regret the other things I’d done with others before I met Fiance. I’m fairly certain he’d say the same. I guess it’s different since we are each other’s “firsts” but it wasn’t planned at all. It just happened and we ended up engaged almost 4 years later.
Post # 9
Nope. I don’t view sex as something married couples only have. We are humans. The urge and desire are there. If you aren’t uber religious then sex is sex. Is it better with someone you love and want to spend your life with? It sure is, but I like having the life exp. I like knowing that later in life I won’t have the “I wonder or what if” feelings that some women do when they have only slept with one man. I’m glad I found out what I like and what I don’t like by having multiple partners.
Mr. Tattoo was my first, but we broke up when we were 21. I have had other partners since him, but at least I can tell people that I lost my virginity to my husband. ^_^
Post # 10
@AmeliaBedelia: See I wish I was in your shoes haha, I didnt mean actually waiting until getting married to have sex with you SO but only having sex with him and no one else… either before of after the wedding is fine.
Post # 11
NO! Here’s why:
I have learnt a LOT about what I want in bed, I learned this through sleeping/ messing around with a few different men. I learnt this throught, great, bad, lame, boring sex with different partners. I could have never learnt this if I was a virgin, and I would have probably always wondered what else is out there, and if this is as good as it gets. Now that I know what’s out there, I don’t wonder.
I also think that losing one’s virginity isn’t fun- it isn’t romantic at all. It’s gross, blood, pain, tears. If that’s your thing GREAT. Yes, it’s special to lose to that person but it’s awkard as hell, it hurt, and it was messy. My wedding night is gonna be more like “yeah, baby yeah! Oh baby, OH!” I’ll know what I’m doing, I’ll know exactly how to get myself off and him. I do not need to awkwardly figure this out on the wedding night.
Post # 12
Sometimes I think it would have been nice. On the other hand, I grew up in a family where that was expected, so I’ve already felt guilty about not saving it. Then I met my SO and he has a fairly colorful past, and I can’t help thinking how cheated I’d feel if I’d saved it all of these years and then realized that the guy for me had been maxing out his single days. So I’ve come to terms with it.
Post # 14
I don’t feel guilty. I don’t believe that virginity is a gift, or that the value of a woman or her relationships should suffer if she has had previous partners. I think putting virginity on a pedestal as something that can be “taken” or “given away” is unhealthy and very damaging to women (both in terms of their own emotional and psychological health and how women are viewed and treated by society in general).
I’ll step off my soap box now. I understand that some people have religious convictions, and I can’t argue with that, but posts like these sadden me. I’m not saying that your feelings are wrong or invalid, it’s just a shame that people feel this way in the first place.
Post # 15
No way. If anything, I wish I’d slept around a little more.
Post # 16
@Marchesa4: Thank you, This helped me out a lot in realizing that if I was a virgin before my Fi came along and he had been with other women, it would hurt me… Thank you!