Post # 1
Now that I’m loosely beginning the wedding planning process, I’m completely drifting away from what I thought I wanted my whole life (a big, traditional wedding).
Now, I’m thinking of something small (25-40 people), simple, and perhaps a destination wedding.
Did anyone have a large wedding abd wish they would have had a smaller/intimate wedding or vice versa? I just see all these posts about the drama and stress involved and it’s making me really reevaluate what I want for my day.
Post # 3
This isn’t a direct answer to your question… but what really nailed it down for me was making my guest list… and realizing the number of MUST HAVE guests, people that I love and desperately hope I can share that day with. While I thought that would be something like 30 people, that list was closer to 90. (I have a big family, and I’ve moved 3 times and have lasting friendships from all those places.)
So my suggestion is figure out who your must haves are… is that big or small?
Post # 4
@Americano: Agree about the must haves!!
OP, I originally wanted a medium-big wedding (~130 people) but ended up compromising with Darling Husband to have a small one. It was PERFECT in every way. Every single person in the room was extremely important to one or both of us, and it really set an amazing, intimate, loving tone. We ended up inviting about 75 (that was as low was we could go and still, as Americano said, invite everyone really important) and 55 attended.
The only thing that made it difficult was cutting out DH’s extended family, since he’s not close to any of his aunts, uncles, or cousins, and there are dozens of them. Luckily for us, his parents were understanding about it. I also couldn’t invite some people my mom wanted, and I had to put my foot down.
But in the end, even my mom agreed that it was better doing it the way we did.
Post # 5
STill 3 weeks from wedding, so I may change my mind once it happens. I was hoping for 150, especially for our budget. But my parents wanted to invite EVERY freaking family member. Looks more like 200. I’m annoyed and don’t want to pay that much, but they are happy. FH could have gotten married destination wedding style (would have loved this too), but my mom would have been SOOOO sad. As much as it annoys me, this is a joining of families and I wanted to consider their feelings too.
Post # 6
We thought we were going to have a guest list of 50 (including any +1s). Then we sat down and wrote down who we wanted, with no number cap. I made a list of my family, Fiance made a list of his family, I made a list of my friends, Fiance made a list of his friends, and then we made a list of mutual friends. We’re now at 100, including +1s (105 if you count the five people Fiance added three-days-ago, but lets not go there…).
We didn’t realize we had so many people we wanted to share our day with. And these are people we see or speak to everyday or often (a lot of my family is out of state, but we speak at least once a week) – not just fly-by people (or, say, my 20-something cousins and their children). It’s amazing how we take it for granted and don’t really view our friends and family in the form of numbers.
Like it’s been said, make a list of people you’d want there, without thinking about the size of the wedding you want (or think you want). Then, go from there.