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Well this could kind of go both ways for me. I really do wish at times I'd known earlier only bc this last year and few months have been extrememly emotional and heart wrenching. However I think I've said this before, it still probably wouldn't of changed my plans. I had my lap surgery over 3 years ago where I lost my tube and ovary and was told then about my Endo and needing to have children prior to 35 but it didn't cause us to change our plans. I still wanted to be married first and I really didn't want children before I was 30. It was something I always wanted no matter what. Even with our issues now, I hold no regrets in life.
You could probably do some testing early, though I don't know what. But, that doesn't mean those results if good will be the same a few years down the road. My lab levels were good and everything 3 years ago even with the diagnosis bc they did check my ovarian reserve then but here we are 3 years later and I now have poor ovarian reserve, meaning little to no eggs left. I had no idea about myself not ovulating, because I was on BC at that time. My point is, yes you could test early and go from there but always know that things could change.
I do wish I could have known earlier. We're in month 8 (cycle 7), and I wish we would have known that it would take this long at least.
One note - your doctor might not allow you to be tested for infertility unless you have some other sort of underlying problem or you've been trying for a full year.
It wouldn't change my plans in the slightest. While I would really love to have my own children someday, if that turns out not to be possible, I'd be just as happy adopting.
It definitely wouldn't affect the fact that I am really not ready for any possible kidlets now and won't be for several years.
I have known for about 14 years that I would have trouble conceiving. I found out I had endometriosis when I was 16. Having a baby before I was married was out of the question for me, so there was no sense in worrying about it until I was married. Now, I have been married for almost 1 1/2 years and I still have no huge rush to have a baby, even though I know I should be trying NOW beings I know conceiving could be difficult. However, considering I have known my whole adult life that I could have troubles, I have prepared myself for the fact that I may never have biological children (I am 100% open to adoption). I am not at a point in my life where I am ready to have children and I feel like having children right now, just because my reproduction issues are telling me IT'S TIME would be wrong. I don't want to have children until I feel like I can scream for joy when I see the positive test rather than scream in fear (i'm being a bit dramatic here lol).
So, I guess the longwinded answer is, knowing that I would have troubles conceiving, no it didn't change our plans. We still plan on waiting until we are ready and hoping for the best :)
We have both always felt like we would have trouble conceiving.
I desperately wanted to know for sure and asked two different OB/GYNs if I can get tested for fertility issues prior to TTC. Their simple answer is there's no point unless you have been TTC. 12 months for couples with no underlying issues. 6 for those over 30.
And I'm not convinced insurance would pay for it either unless you have prior issues and/or have been TTC for 12 months to no avail.
So unless you have the upfront cash to spend on the fertility testing I don't see the testing prior to TTC feasible.
I've known since my early teens that I would have trouble. I had one period at age 15 and nothing after that unless I was on BC and I have yet to get a straight answer as to why I don't get a monthly cycle. My mom had trouble conceiving too.
Even knowing for as long as I have, I still have a hard time dealing with it. All the blood tests, the ultrasounds, the medications. Never getting a straight answer as to why my body won't do what its supposed to. It still sucks.
You might be able to get some tests done but those results can change in a few years. If you aren't ready for kids, don't force it. There are so many things they can do for fertility now. And you never know, it could happen very quickly for you.
We started TTC right after we got married, so I never really thought of that. I have a friend with PCOS so she assumes she'll have trouble concieving, but she still wants to wait to try. I wonder if it's b/c she's just scared of going through all of that stress, she'd rather just not deal with it right now.
I have to say the same as the PP's. No one will do any testing until you've been trying for a year (for normal couples).
There ARE exceptions, obviously. Other underlying problems, if you've had children previously WITHOUT problems (and where you could pinpoint the date), etc.
The reason being, from what I was told and read, it is normal for it to take up to a year to conceive naturally. AFTER a year, you can go in and start being tested.
What I would suggest is to start charting. Temping and/or using opk's (ovulation prediction kits/tests). I'd be willing to bet that if you're getting positive OPK's, then you'll be fine. If not, then you'd probably have a better chance of being tested sooner.
BUT that would require being off BC for a while. IF you aren't willing to take the chance of getting pregnant straight off and/or within the year, I wouldn't do it until you and your hubby/FI are prepared.
As for the question, I can't say. I had NO problems wtih my first two, but now I am. I haven't been tested (or my FI) and we CAN NOT be tested until 6 months of trying. And that's BECAUSE I've had two kids where I knew the EXACT day I got pregnant and we weren't even trying. Quite the opposite, to be honest.
The RE in our area will do a fertility assessment for those who want a good idea of their reproductive health, even before they start trying. I think they do some bloodwork, and an ultrasound, and probably an SA for your FI. Generally won't be covered by insurance, so the testing will probably cost a few hundred dollars, but it might give you a better idea of if you should try sooner or might be able to wait. BUT like MissGreen said, your numbers and his numbers can change.
Even though I have family history of reproductive challenges, I never had any specific symptoms to indicate a problem like endo or pcos, etc. But yet, here we are with 1.5 years of normal test results, and still no baby. And there are others with known challenges that conceive quickly. You just never know.
I'd weigh in your mind how important having a biological child is to you. If you have your heart set on a bio child, it might be worth trying a little sooner. If you are open to alternative family building, you may have the freedom to wait longer. That said, it's kind of impossible to fully understand the loss of not being able to have a biological child until you get there. But, you also shouldn't feel pressured to have a child until you both are ready.
I am extremely worried about this. I want to start trying right after the wedding because I'm afaid it will take forever.
But a friend of mine did the same, and got pregnant on the first try--a year before they *really* wanted to (but they love their kid).
So, yes it's something I worry about. Will I do anything about it? Probably not.
I don't know if we will ultimately have trouble conceiving, but we have been TTC for a few months with no luck. I went off the pill in January after 10+ years on it and am now almost 31. I'm pretty sure I haven't ovulated yet, but have gotten periods (varying cycle lengths). We got married in 09 and wanted a full year of marriage before even thinking about kids. I would not have changed a thing in terms of when we started TTC, even if it turns out that waiting a while longer ruined our chances of TTC.
I would say this, though. I would have gone off the pill sooner had I known my cycles would be wonky and it would take a while to get back to normal. In my head I knew it was a possibility, but wasn't into the idea of going off the pill and using a backup method of protection. I wish I had gone off like 6-8 months before TTC because now we are REALLY ready to get pregnant, and I have no idea what's going on with my body.
I have been trying for about 9 months, I feel at this point like we are likely headed down the fertility treatment road, I wish I would have known sooner, but not so I could change anything, just so I could have been more relaxed about it in the beginning. I don't think we would have been comfortable doing anything differently than we have.
The quick answer... while socially it's more normal (it seems) now to have a child in your 30s... biologically...we're still geared for our 20s. A 35 year old will have I think it's around 6 times the difficulty of a 25 year old. Once you hit 40 I think you are more likely to miscarry than give birth along with abnormalities more likely. So really, the quick and easy answer is yes, it's better the younger you are and every year you wait you could have an issue. You also could not have one.
Ultimately, you need to decide. Yes, the pill can affect you... and especially after long times on it... can take up to or more than a year to even begin ovulating again... if ever. Just to throw out there... It is possible to plan your family without messing with your system on the pill. I would rec. the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility to give you some insights on it.
@sweetkate: I'm not a doctor... but if you have periods on the pill... and no periods off of it... it sounds like a "simple" hormone imbalance or deficiency. A dear friend of mine had to have one of her ovaries removed as a child and like you.. never had a true period. She's been using NaPro Technology and has been able to get her period naturally! They are still fighting with fertility but now that she is ovulating from her one ovary they're getting closer. There's one more deficiency she's struggling with to keep a baby to term but they are that much closer. I know some others who have benefitted from it but she's the most severe case I know. You shouldn't have to settle for "we don't know." Besides, if you're not getting your period... you probably aren't ovulating either... thus meaning there is no reason for you to be on the pill. It's not going to help get things started... I would really rec looking into NaPro as it's more than just for infertility... it's for all "lady problems." :)
@Erindesmar: I got married around the same time as you with similar goals about enjoying marriage and similar age (31). I'm still on BC for another month or so before going off. I'm afraid of how my body will be going off. I've warned my DH that it could take some time to conceive and that we may not hit the birth month he wants. I keep trying to tell him that it's all up to how my body reacts off BC. My periods were normal pre-BC 8 years ago as well. So, I'm ready to get off BC, ready to conceive, but worried how long it will take to happen.
@ 31, I nearly had a hysterectomy yet due to my doctor's diligence, that was averted. From that day forward, I knew I could possibly have a a fertility issue and was reminded @ every annual exam. Yet, I wasn't ready to be a single mother nor wanted had found my wonderful FI. Now @ 41, I'm being told that I have a 5% chance of getting pregnant @ my age. I'm completely not phased because my FI and I will still give it the college try(Its too much Fun!!!) and if God willing, it shall be. If not, we will adopt.
Hang in there. You're still young and it always works out.
For us we are making a plan and sticking to it. I always wanted to be young parents and sometimes i feel the clock ticking even though i will only be 23 and future hubby 26. We have tried in the past and had miscarriages (two). It worries me about trying again but, we decided we will buy a house, have stable jobs, a wedding and honeymoon and than try once again for a baby. It is a very emotional road. There are many up's and down's but, if your ready it is all worth it in hopes having a small family of your own. I wish you the best of luck.
The only thing I would have done differently is to get off BC sooner. We knew we were going to try right away. So if I could go back, I would have stopped BC right after we got engaged...
ETA: I also would have started charting much earlier. I didn't start until month 6 of TTC. I was pretty much dead set against it, but without it you can't really figure out if anything is wrong or whether you are definitely ovulating. I also would have used the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor from month 1...I started that in month 3.
@Erindesmar:Why do you think you aren't ovulating? I'm just curious because we're probably going to start TTC soon and I'm on the pill this month for other reasons but I plan to go back off next month.
@carrie - funny we are on the sort of same timeline! for everyone it's totally different going off the pill. my best friend was on for a very long time and conceived literally in the first month off the pill. my sister was on for about ten years and conceived within a few months. we just finished month 2 of TTC (month 3 of NTNT) and i know i'm being impatient. i just have a feeling this is going to take a while longer than we thought. so yes, impress upon your DH that it might not happen at the exact right moment! even if you ovulate and do the deed at the exact right moment, you still only have a 30% chance of conceiving!
@brianne - let me rephrase that. i don't think i ovulated last month. i used the ovulation predictor kits and never got a peak reading.
first month after going off the pill my cycle was 35 days, then 30 days. this month tomorrow is day 35 of my cycle, no sign of my period. have taken a couple of tests, all negative.
@KLP2010: I'm sorry but I have to go ahead and disagree with you here. Birth control pills do NOT cause infertility. This has been studied and there have been no reliable studies stating that having been on BCP will negatively affect later fertility. The fertility rates for women who have used the pill are the same as those women who have never taken it. I have spoken to my doctor about this, as well as done my own research. It is a MYTH that the BCP can make you infertile and I just don't want someone stumbling across this thread to think that it is truth.
Agree w/ corgitales - it can only mess with your cycles for a while after the fact but won't in and of itself cause infertility.
@KLP2010: I wish it was just a simple hormone deficiency. My hormone levels at various times during my cycle have come back within the normal range, both with and without medication. And while I was on oral fertility meds for 6 cycles (Clomid and Femara), I only ovulated on 2 of them. The way my Dr explained it was that my brain and my reproductive system weren't in sync. The next step is to try injectible medications that will basically tell my system when to produce a follicle and when to release it.
@CorgiTales: @Erindesmar: "especially after long times on it can take up to or more than a year to even begin ovulating again... if ever."
I didn't mean that to say that the pill itself causes infertility. It can indeed take a while for your body to regulate but if you wait until 35-40 to come off and ttc... you can have issues. It may take your body a year to normalize... and then your age may take over... As will if you went on for "medical reasons" none of that will have been solved during all the years on the pill.
So, sorry, I didn't say the pill itself is the CAUSE of (if ever) infertility. But it can mask it, make you unaware of other conditions, or "procrastinate" until too late.
@suz123: I think it's nice to know ahead of time. At least from a woman's point of view. I'm not in that stage of life yet, but I do want kids. I've known since I was 18 years old that it would be next to impossible for me to get pregnant, but I still have faith that if it's meant to be I will. Just means as soon as we say our, "I do's" we're going to be working at it.
In the end as someone mentioned it's up to you when you want to try and have children. Be prepared either way because birth control is not 100% at stopping pregnancy, nor is condoms etc...so you just never know.
I wish I had known I had fibroids so I could have had my fibroid removal surgery much sooner. My regular obgyn didn't know (still don't see how!!!) and so right after our wedding I got pregnant and miscarried and was told about my dozen fibroids. Had to have my right tube removed and now am taking fertility meds and struggling to get pregnant. I'm almost 34 and want two children, so I'm very stressed and upset about the whole thing. So, yes, I wish I had known sooner (before the wedding) about the fibroids so I could have had them removed sooner and started trying right after the wedding with a fibroid-free uterus.
I'm so glad that I know I have PCOS and other reproductive issues going into marriage and that I'm young still. That way I know the seriousness of the situation and I can plan accordingly and I can also prepare my heart for possibly never having biological children. I'd love to start immediately TTC and I hope we have the resources to do so, but I think being emotionally and financially ready are just as important.
EDIT: I second KLP2010. Look into NaPro Technology!
I wish I knew if DH and I would be able to conceive without trouble or if we'll have issues but since I have no known issues like PCOS or Endo, I just have to wait until we are ready to TTC and hope for the best.
My mom had issues with infertility and, although she went on to have 3 children, getting pregnant with each of us required fertility treatments. She couldn't get pregnant naturally at all.
I don't know if there are any genetic links to infertility or not but I am built exactly like my mom and our bodies respond in the same way to other things so in the back of my head, I do have this worry that I'll have her same infertility issues too.
I think when we finally started TTC we actually worried about this... like what if all this time we've been trying to avoid getting pregnant when we could've been trying. I think what's going to happen is going to happen. I have a friend who turned 30 and decided now was the time to start TTC and it's now been a year with no luck. I've asked her if she would have started earlier had she known and she doesn't think she would have. Your body knows when it's able to conceive, and that's how she looks at it. Still, I'm sure she thinks about the "what ifs". Good luck either way:)
I am no where TTC and for all I know I could have problems TTC. But if I did have problems I would definitely want to know. We're not planning to conceive until I'm 28 (5 years)..and so if I knew I would have started earlier
@KLP2010: I'm glad you clrified, because the way your initial post was worded, it did sound as though you were saying that a possible consequence of being on the pill was never ovulating again.
For the OP, I would say that you should go by how ready you feel. Between now and your wedding you may feel differently and be ready. If you aren't you can always wait a bit, you are still in your twenties, so I think you should do what makes you comfortable.
I did know, and it didn't make anything easier to deal with. I have PCOS and I don't get regular cycles. I figured it would take a while. I was off BCP for 2 years amd TTC naturally, nothing happened so we finally enlisted the help of a specialist.
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Ladies I have a question, I read the wedding and baby posts on the site but havent posted before, this is one of the threads that I follow.
I am 28 and my fiancee is 29,we are getting married in the next 2 years. He would have a honeymoon baby given the chance but while I want kids at some point I dont see it in the next five years.
My question is - do you wish youd known earlier that you would have problems conceiving, and would it have changed your plans? as a compromise I thought of suggesting that once we are married we get fertility tests - if they come back fine we wait a few years, if they say we might have problems we try straight away.
I have been on the pill for ten years, my periods were regular before that but I know that typically some of the things that cause problems conceiving start in your twenties. My parents had lots of trouble conceiving me, they tried for 10 years (this was before the days of IVF etc and unfortunately they have both passed away so I cant ask them what their problems were).
Part of me just wants to say what will be will be and see what happens when we start trying but I worry that Id regret it if I got to 35 and missed my chance.
Long post, sorry, and I hope this doesnt cause any offence or upset to those TTC - we arent even trying yet and already Im worrying about it!