Post # 1
So I’ve been tasked with putting on an event in Las Vegas next summer for my client. I reached out to my (male) client to see if we could set up a site visit this month to walk through their expectations for the event at the property. My (male) client responded with “I’m slammed until February, can we do it then?”
Today, I asked my (male) manager what his schedule was like for the end of the month. He responded “I’m going to be partying with (male) client at a site visit in Vegas….
WTF?????????????? I felt like a bus had hit me. Granted, I understand that I would probably not be as much fun to “party” with in Vegas, but I would actually get some WORK done and some questions answered.
Guaranteed after their visit, the only answers I will get from my manager is to the questions ‘how much was your bar tab”?
I’m not sure if I’m just frustrated or need advice. Has anyone else been through something similar?
Post # 3
That’s such BS. My program at college was like that. The profs would go play basketball with a select group of students. To be fair, I was awkwardly invited once, but who wants to play a semi-physical sport with their male professors and peers?
There was, of course, more incidents than that, but it ended up that they were the ones who got the awesome internships and scholarships, probably because the professors knew them better. I know that justification wouldn’t stand up in court or anything :), but that’s just the way I saw things.
Post # 4
Working in Japan was like that. When I first moved there in the summer of 2008, three new teachers came to my town: me, another girl, and a guy. However, the guy was Mormon and made it very clear very early on that he couldn’t and wouldn’t drink and that being at home with his family was very important to him. Well, we were introduced to the mayor of the town, and a few weeks later, he invited all of us to dinner at his house with his family. That was about it.
The next year, two new teachers came (to replace the Mormon and the Australian guy who had already been there when I arrived and later left). Both of them were young guys who said they had no problem with alcohol. I went with them to meet the mayor to act as their translator. Twenty minutes into the meeting, the mayor invited them to a wild night out at the capital city of the prefecture (about two hours away by boat and train) so they could go to a hostess bar (look it up on Wikipedia) together. The mayor then looked directly at me and apologized for never doing anything exciting with me, but I wouldn’t be any fun because I’m a woman.
Post # 5
It’s kind of a boys/older man club here. Most of my coworkers are in their 50’s but it’s nothing sleazy regarding the partying–i just don’t get invited out to lunches or to hang out because I’m the young female. Sometimes the coworkers on my old team invite me out. But it’s pretty standard in engineering. While there’s no drama because there’s no women, it’s also not always friendly in a way that would be more welcoming. You can’t have it both ways, though.
Post # 6
@ejs4y8: My thoughts exactly. My bosses at my new job try to include me but its just not as easy for them bc I’m the only person under 40 and I’m female. Going into engineering though I knew I’d face it. =)
Post # 7
my work is EXACTLY like that. typically in the summer we have a “summer outing.” two summers ago, my boss decided that we should have a “men” and “women” outing. the men were told they were going to a cabin for a friday drinking day (day off work and overnight trip) and the women could go (and i quote) “get a manicure over lunch or something.” i ended up talking to him about it, but it didn’t resolve anything. the summer after that, we were all going to play mini-golf for our outing, but then my boss decided to take the guys out to see the Dark Knight movie but the girls weren’t invited because “chicks might get scared.” I talked to him again, and that time we all got to go. (i guess i’m the squeeky wheel, haha?) just to note too, our office has about 40 people and it’s about 50/50 genders. crazy, isn’t it?
Post # 7
I work at the Pentagon.
my coworkers are all in our de-facto lunch room talking about how hot some girl in a work out video is, and one just said ‘I use a whole bottle of Nivea lotion to her!’.
I’ve also been asked if I “take dictation”, and to do other demeaning (to me) secretarial roles, largely by certain individuals. I have a masters degree and was hired to be a researcher, not a secretary. I’ve also been told that “I cook well, for a Jewish girl”. Yep. This is our military.
Post # 8
I feel like I have the worst of both worlds because my industry is a total boys club, but there are a lot of women in it too that create drama. A lot of women try to set up their own cliques in order to combat with the boys club and it just creates another exclusive atmosphere.
Post # 9
@asunw, it’s the bosses that are cool about me, it’s my coworkers that seem more leery
Then again, after seeing some of the polls and responses on weddingbee about male-female interaction, I at least get it now and realize it’s nothing personal.
Post # 10
and now they’re talking about whether they’d be more interested in having sex with “thin” Jessica Simpson or “fat” Jessica Simpson.
And yes, it’s offensive.
Post # 11
Ugh.. I get the double whammy of working in the software industry and in sales! It was total boys club. They would always go for off-site lunches to “booze”, monthly poker nights and several “guy weekends” throughout the year. It was really obnoxious. It was even worse when we ahd to all travel together to a customer site, we’d meet up with other sales guys and even the customers would go to some strip club or other seedy joint. I was never even considered!! Though, I’m sure I would certainly not have gone, since “boozing” really isn’t my kind of thing.
I just learned to develop my own relationships with the guys and be happy not to be included in all of the unpleasantries.
It sucks, but in a lot of workplaces that’s how it is. Instead, me and the few women in the office would go out for pedicures during lunch.
Post # 12
UGH YESSS I call my office the LBC (little boys club) all the time! Its soo frustrating! I am always venting about it to another girl in my office. The majority of upper management at the company I work in is males and we have very few higher females as role model types. The higher up males I think think of us a little girls even though we are NOT and are just as capable (if not more so) then our male counterparts. If a guy in the same position brags about going out on a Tuesday and getting wasted he would get all kinda of high fives/praise for it, but if I did that or a female coworker did it we would be looked completly down upon. Not that I want to go out and get wasted on a Tuesday, it just makes me mad that they reward these guys behavior which is SO unprofessional. Arrghh! You can tell this topic gets me heated!
Post # 13
Honestly, I could care less about being involved in their drinking and partying. When I used to travel a lot for work, I loved the fact that I didn’t have to stay out super late or go “drink for drink” with the clients just to prove my worth. After I would finish one drink post-dinner, I’d pull the whole “beauty rest” thing and take a cab back to the hotel, while my male counterparts had to entertain the clients (strip clubs included) until they were ready to drop.
However, when it gets in the way of me being able to do my job, that’s when I get fuming mad!
Post # 14
@CanAmBride: Nice! I loved using the whole “beauty rest” thing. I would sometimes indulge in their boys club antics to my advantage. It was no surprise that “pretty girls” are always a good seller for conferences.
Post # 15
I work for the Army.
Yep, whatever you can think of, I have seen, heard, put up with it.