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I don't have children, but this question popped into my head the other day. Personally, I'm not a big alcohol drinker...maybe a glass or two of wine once a month. I could potentially be drunk on 3 cocktails (LOL), which happens *maybe* twice a year, out with friends. FI likes to have a few beers more often than I do, which I don't really care about because he's always safe (if he's at a friends house he'll sleep over, etc) and it doesn't really impact me one way or the other.
It seems like the more I talk to other people, the more I'm finding it common for them to have a glass of wine or a beer (or two) on an almost daily basis. They're not drunk, or even buzzed, they just have the one while they're making dinner, or before bed. Almost all of my friends have children at varying ages, and it makes me wonder...is it normal for your children to see you have a glass of wine or two on a regular basis? My parents almost never drank when I was growing up, so I never thought about it until now. Was just curious.
I saw my parents drink when I was a kid, it didn't phase me. They didn't ever get drunk, they would have a beer or a glass of wine, no big deal.
I'll let my future kids see me drink in moderation as well. I don't have a problem with it.
My parents don't drink, so I didn't see them drink in front of me. I probably would pass out if my mom or dad ever even touched a bottle of anything more alcoholic than Nyquill!
DH and I plan on it when we have kids someday. I think if we're going to have it in the house, they need to see appropriate, responsible alcohol usage modeled for them. Neither of us are huge drinkers, but we do occasionally have wine or beer with dinner or at night.
I think it is totally fine if you dont get drunk or buzzed. One drink should always be the limit if you ask me...
I never really saw my parents did and the one time I did, it was like OMG THEY ARE ALCOHOLICS!
Ok, not really, but my mom's family was full of them, so she avoided the drink.
I may drink around our kids. But that's why I'm waiting to birth children. Cause right now, Friday nights=alcohol for me. And drinking to buzzzzzzzzzed around kids is frowned upon.
My dad brewed his own beer with my mom, and I grew up learning the trade too lol. Lots of tasting but they were never drunk around me nor did they go out and party. It was more like business.
Very rarely and it is usually just one beer. Their father on the otherhand more than a few.
My parents didn't drink when I was little, so I never did. However, it *could* be a good example if you show them to drink in moderation? Mmeh I don't know, that'll definitely be something to think about before we TTC! =]
I'm not a parent, but I saw my parents drink from a very young age! They are not alcoholics or anything, but I have always known that my dad likes his beer and my mom loves her wine. It didn't really bother me and I have grown up to be a very mild drinker myself so I personally don't think it's a big deal for kids to see their parents drink!
My 4 yr old bonus son has seen us have a glass of wine on holidays and probably a beer or two during a football game.
I'm sure she has. Before being pregnant, I would have a glass of wine while cooking dinner. Never enough to get buzzed, and my husband would be home. Growing up my dad would have a beer after work during the summer, and my mom usually drank red wine with dinner. It never fazed me at all. I'm not a big drinker though, I might have a glass of wine a week. Girl's nights (with martinis or something) I'm not at home anyway because I want to be able to relax and have fun without worrying about my daughter being around!
My parents drank in front of us. They drank responsibly and in moderation. When they went to card parties, my mom would always only have a glass or two early in the night then switch to diet coke. She always drove home. We are very similar. DH drinks a few beers at home and when we go out, I might have one, but I usually let him drink with his buddies and I drive home. Our kids have only really seen responsible drinking. Our oldest is 21 and is a pretty responsible drinker. He has called me a time or two and asked for rides because he had drank too much to drive and he didn't want to go with his drunk friends. Our 18 year old, just doesn't like the taste of alcohol, and he would just rather spend his money on anime stuff than liquor.
yes, my kids have seen me drink. i dont think its a big deal at all(well, i mean as long as you are drinking responsibly)
eta: we even serve and enjoy alcohol(beer, wine, mixed drinks etc) to adults at their birthday parties! (my oldest is ten this month and my youngest is 2 in april)
DH and I don't drink so no DS doesn't..... even a few years ago when I did though it was just something that I didn't want him seeing.
His dad & grandfather are/were both alcoholics so I always had the stance that he's going to see enough of it outside of our home & so I didn't feel the need to add to that. That was pretty much solidified the day when he came home from his dad's and told me that beer went in the fridge... He was 3. I really didn't like it =/
I'm not like "OMG.." opposed to it though. The only thing that ever irked me was seeing parents out at dinner & or like at a bbq where they would be getting in their cars & driving their kids/family home... primarily b/c even after 1 beer you can blow over the legal limit. I'm sure that have somehting to do with the way DS's dad's family functioned though. *shrugs shoulders*
If done properly like what seems like your friends habitually drink I see no harm in fact I see it in a positive light. It shows children alcohol isn't harmful, if done in the appropriate manner. You can also talk to your children about drinking, why you do, when you can, when you should when you shouldn't. It's this positive exposure to it that can help kids learn about it's effects.
My parents never considered alcohol as something they needed to hide from us, but they stressed the importance of moderation. My dad had a beer most days after work and also brewed beer at home beginning when I was about 7 years old. If asked, they would give us a sip of their beer/wine (which, of course, we thought tasted gross and never asked again).
When we were teenagers, they of course implored us not to drink, but also assured us that if we did, we could and should call them for a ride rather than drive home drunk, under any circumstances. My two siblings started drinking in high school, while I was completely anti-alcohol until my second year of college. I completely agree with my parents' approach.
However, I am not the kind of person who will have a glass of wine with dinner for no reason, as my parents will. I only drink alcohol if I want to feel the effects -- and I am a lightweight who is always buzzed after one drink. For that reason, I am likely to avoid drinking around my hypothetical children while they are young.
I don't have any kiddos but I grew up seeing my parents drink. They would have all the neighbors over, frequently, and have a great time. All the neighborhood kids would be at my house...Hahaha it didnt phase me. I figured that's what adults do. I knew my pops drank beer.
Friends of mine, one in particular...they always drink around their kids. Which I don't think is a problem until it starts to get super late, people are getting drunk, and the kids are still up. That's the part that kinda irks me...but I don't feel like when I have kids that I should only drink when they are asleep or not around ya know. Hard to say, because I'm not a mom.
My ex and I drank in front of my kids when they were younger. I still do it now (I'm guessing that he still does too) now that they are teenagers. They seem unphased and don't seem interested in drinking themselves. They have never asked for a sip. Though... when my daughter was three she saw her dad's beer in the fridge and asked if she could have some of his "puppy pop". LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
DH and I will most likely drink in front of our children. We like to have a glass of wine with dinner (or just after) a couple of nights per week - rarely do we ever have more than one glass though. Occasionally on a hot night, we might have a cold beer instead of a glass of wine, but again, hardly ever do we have more than one, and never more than two.
I don't think there's anything wrong with parents drinking in moderation in front of their children. I think it sets a good example of how to drink responsibly - we all know actions speak louder than words so hopefully if our children are used to seeing us have one drink on occasion and stopping there, they'll develop a more healthy attitude towards drinking when they get older.
Yes he sees me drink a glass or two with dinner. I NEVER drink when we go out unless I have someone to drive. Even if I only have half a glass of beer, I NEVER drive with my son in the car after.
I don't drink in front of my children. My oldest son's father (and our family) has serious alcohol/ drug addictions. I know in the end it will be his decision, and he may be able to drink without dependence, but I'm hoping that we're showing him that not using alcohol recreationally is just as normal as having a few. We talk about his family, his future with friends, and point out celebrities who (say they) don't drink. I'm trying to balance all the messages in our society that everyone does it for fun. I also make him watch Intervention with me. I don't have a problem with drinking in front of kids in general. I'm a bit sensitive to the disease, not to alcohol itself.
Yeah. I don't really drink much anymore, but I have been nursing a glass of wine for about 4 hours now, and right when my husband got home from work, our 2 year old son ran to the fridge to get daddy a beer! It's his new nightly ritual ( we don't always have beer in the house). We never get drunk around him, we never have.
I never in my life saw my mom take a drink of anything...ever. When I was 20 I saw a picture of her at a party with a glass of champagne in her hand and was amazed.
My Dad never really drank.. he still doesn't. That being said, if he did, it wouldn't have phased me, I don't think.
We drink around DD, but only socially (visiting FI's parents, etc.). We rarely drink at home.
I grew up with parents that "liked to have a good time" I didn't realize it at the time but they were probably buzzed or drunk by the end of the night. Nothing bad or alarming ever happened and actually i quite enjoyed it as a kid because it was fun for me, they would be very relaxed and in a good mood and we would have a great time together. Mostly I drink at night so my son is in bed shortly after. However, when we are on vacation or something I will get a buzz in front of him, it's not like I am stumbling or in capable but we all might hang out in the hot tub or by a fire and just enjoy our time together, I usally end up having a few more drinks then normal and since it's vacaton I usually let my son stay up later so he does see me buzzed.
I'm Russian. Growing up my parents drank at every meal. Shot glasses are part of every place setting. So yeah this doesn't phase me at all. It made drinking not taboo and not something you need to hide, obssess over or abuse. It's become very....eh.
Yes. We often have a glass of wine with dinner. It is important to me to show our daughters that you can drink responsibly and have one or two, and not making it all mysterious to them.
I just think the more you make it out to be a "bad" thing, the more kids won't have a grasp on the fact that a little in moderation is fine when they are of age.
My mom dosen't touch alcohol, but my dad is a beer drinker. He'd have a beer or 2 every now and then, or he'd drink a beer with dinner occasionally in the summertime when we were grilling. I remember he drank Budweiser, then years later switched to Coors Light. My pap drinks MIlwalkees's Best (beast). Beer's never been an issue with us growing up, despite their poor taste in it ;)
I don't have children yet, but I suspect they'll see me drink now and then. Never drunk, though! I don't drink much now - unneccessary calories & I'm trying to lose weight - but I'll have a glass of wine occassionally.
I don't remember my parents drinking when I was little, but I know when I was a teen, she'd have a glass of wine some evenings - but my parents also let me have a small amount of wine on holidays (Christmas, usually) starting around age 12. My mom is Italian and her family goes through a lot of red wine when they get together on the holidays. 
My sister and I didn't drink until college, my younger brother didn't until late high school, so I'll probably try to emulate my parents' attitude.
I was the fourth child growing up so I'm sure by the time I was around my mom wasn't as concerned as she was when my sisters were young but my mom always had a glass of wine with dinner and so did my dad. My mom hated when we'd be at someone's house and the parent would ask their child to grab them a beer though.
Dh only has a beer maybe once a month so our son has only seen him drink a few times. I don't drink until my son goes to bed and it use to be once a week or once every two weeks I'd have a glass of wine (now that I'm pregnant, it's never)
I don't drink at home but on Holidays at my parents I have a had a few drinks. I don't think its a major issue, especially considering they don't even know what is in my glass. :)
Growing up my parents had wine a dinner most nights. I never really thought of it as alcholic, but more of a drink to enjoy at dinner, similar to a soda or something else. I didn't really think anything of it, except that it felt normal.
Alcoholism isn't a problem in my family, so it was really normal for my parents to have a drink with dinner. They never got drunk, they just had a beer or a glass of wine, or scotch before dinner or something. They even had an age rule in place for when we could drink certain amounts. I'm really glad it was like that because by the time I was 16 I knew when to stop drinking and drinking wasn't forbidden fruit; I would've been in trouble if I'd learned to drink from my college friends.
I grew up in Wisconsin... on very rare occasions (when i was a little older) my parents have allowed me to have a sip of two! My Fi and I only have a glass or two of wine once a week or so, maybe a drink or two on occasion. I'm not worried about it.
I agree about not creating a forbidden fruit, but I think in reality, with the open conversations my son is able to have with us about it, where he doesn't feel it's taboo to mention or be curious about, we're circumventing the forbidden aspect. When you watch an entire family get destroyed one by one because of a disease you don't act like it's not a big deal. It's honesty and it's education. It's not obsession (although my first post may come across that way). Moderation is great, if you are able to do it. If you've got alcoholism on both sides of your family the way we do, you have to be aware that the ability to moderate might not be there for you, so approach the choice with awareness.
@jjmomma: Your first post actually made me really grateful I don't need to face that situation. If I had alcoholism in my family or FI's family, I would definitely need to re-think things. That's a tough situation. The only way I know how to not make a forbidden fruit is the way my parents did things...I don't know what I'd do if drinking in moderation may not be a realistic option for my kids.
@MerryWidow: My mom is a light drinker and would allow my brother and I to have a taste of champagne on Christmas Eve. My brother and I do not partake in alcohol often. I guess we were exposed to it as kids and never found it exciting. I do enjoy a nice drink but only a couple of times a year.
@HappierKate: It's very real concern. Every male on his father's side for many generations has an addiction of some sort (drugs/ alcohol or both) and most of the people in my family. As with anything else, I give him the information and the rest is up to him. I just want him to be aware and empowered to make a choice, should he want to do so. His stepdad is in a band so we're around a lot of pot smokers and heavy drinkers (and everything in between). I don't slam other people's lifestyles, but I do want him to be informed about his options and the potential consequences. I'm not smashing kegs and screaming prohibition... ;)
My parents drank in front of me.Not getting drunk but a drink about once a month after work. It didn't influence anything with me because my mom always told me when I got older "If you do drink do it at home" so I learned to be responsible with it. I don't believe in forbidding anything because I think it makes you wanna do it more. Just as long as you talk to your kids.
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