Post # 1
My parents like to go all out for bdays…even for DH. But since we’ve been together, I’ve never even gotten as much as a card/phone call from my ILs (divorced) for my bday.
My exH’s parents didn’t get me anything the first couple of years we were dating until I made some snarky remark that my parents always had a separate celebration for his bday…and continued it for 12 years. Then they started including me in on exFIL’s celebration as his bday was a couple of days before mine.
So do your ILs give you anything for your bday? Or are my parents just weird?
Post # 3
@texasbee: My in-laws started getting me birthday presents when we got engaged. Even his grandma gets me something.
My parents have always gotten presents for my SO on their birthdays even if we had just been dating for a few months at that point.
Post # 4
His sisters and mom usually get me a card and sometimes a token gift, which is sweet. They all don’t have a lot of money and have bigger families so it’s really about the thought which I very much appreciate. My birthday is over Thanksgiving and I usually get them when we go down for Thanksgiving dinner. For DHs birthday my folks (who are divorced) go in together and get Dh a gift, but my dad comes over for DHs annual birthday poker party. Dad brings a case of beer, which he doesn’t drink, and losses lots of money to the guys (he’s not a good poker player and knows that, he comes to loose).
Post # 5
@texasbee my parents give gifts to my FH and my FIL’s give me gifts as well. My FH is an only child so they don’t have to worry about giving many gifts throughout the year lol I don’t care too much about gifts other than that they thought to get something (even a card is fine with me!) its just remembering the birthday.
Post # 6
His parents gave me gifts the first holiday (Christmas) after we started dating and have always given me something, even if it was just a card, for my birthdays. FH’s mom always made a special request meal for everyone’s birthdays, and she always included me in that.
Now that FH’s mom has passed away, FFIL still gives me a card with a gift card, but that’s his thing. He hasn’t been in a good place financially since his wife passed, and he never really knows what to give as gifts. I just think it’s a sweet gesture.
Post # 7
You should make a poll!
My almost-ILs got me a birthday present this year, and I saw them on my birthday, and I think they may have gotten me a card last year but it was right around the same time I got my BA, and they definitely sent me a card for that. I’m not sure if they’ll get me more than a card next year, but I won’t be expecting anything 🙂
I think it’s also a bit different when you live far from your ILs and don’t tend to see them on your birthday. My parents haven’t gotten my FI anything for his birthday, but he’s never celebrated it with them before, but Christmas was the first time they met him, and they decided to buy something for him then and the Christmas since.
Post # 8
They do not give the types of material gifts to which you likely are referring, no.
My in-laws have multiple children, multiple “in-law” children, a large number of grandchildren, and several great-grand children. They also are retired and are not wealthy, so their gift giving is, of necessicty, quite limited.
However, my MIL is a very creative person, and she makes her own greeting cards using the computer as well as elements that she cuts and pastes from various other sources, often cards that have been sent to her.
Her greetings, on behalf of herself and my FIL, are one-of-a-kind, very beautiful and thoughtful messages that she spends a great deal of time preparing and which contain much love.
Those are the gifts that she prepares for everyone in her family on the occasion of our birthdays, and we cherish them. 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Well mine is easy (Xmas eve) so yes, lol. But knowing my in-laws, I bet they’d still take me out to dinner/give gifts if my birthday was some random day in June as well. We take them out for their birthdays, too. I just all-around love birthdays, they’re so much fun! Any excuse for dinner/party/cake is just fine with me 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@texasbee: My future in-laws usually buy me birthday presents (last year they got me a $200 drawer set from IKEA to store all of my makeup — what?!), and they almost always give me $300 for Christmas, plus a bunch of presents and gift cards on top of that. They’re the best.
Post # 11
@ladyamalthea: I added a poll! I don’t see my ILs on my bday EVER…but they do get me Christmas presents every year! Plus, since I’ve been with DH, I go out of my way to get them bday gifts…he was really really bad about that!
Post # 12
@Brielle: See I think homemade cards would be better than any gift. My sister makes them for me and I save every one….something to pass down to our grandkids one day!
Post # 13
I have voted yes, all the time but they didn’t give me the first birthday me and their son were together (but we had only been together 3 weeks and I hadn’t met his parents at that point so it doesn’t count!). Sometimes they ask me what I want and other times theyve just gotten me something.
I really find it difficult when they ask what I want because you have to try and work out what is a suitable answer that doesn’t make you seem greedy and spoilt!
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
FH and my birthday are a week apart so if they send a package for his birthday there is something in their for me. Last birthday the package had a box full of stuff to throw a birthday party, decorations, candles, cake mix and a handmade card for each of us.
Post # 15
My own parents sometimes give me gifts, ILs starting making it a little awkward, hah. We have been married a year, but my ILs invited us over for a birthday lunch for me this year… it was kind of awkward, especially when I showed up and DH’s aunts/uncles and grandparents were there, with gifts. Nice, yes, but when one of DH’s grandmothers made a comment about “ok, now you’re finished celebrating until next year, right?” it just made me feel super awkward… I don’t expect gifts, and it seemed like they felt obligated to bring them when I didn’t even know they would be there!
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
@texasbee: my ILs have been giving me birthday gifts since the first one since FI and I had been dating (my bday is 3 days before our dating anniversary), and consistently every year. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure my parents have been doing anything for FI. They probably will, now that we are engaged.