Does your man help with wedding planning?

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Do your man help with wedding planning?
    yes : (60 votes)
    66 %
    no : (31 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1584 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    He’s not the most hands on, but he is always willing to give me his opinion on ideas I have, and every so often he checks in to see how everything is going. Tonight he sat down and we went over a bunch of stuff from mockup table seating to Centrepieces to day of coordination. 🙂 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2042 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yes.  On big decisions he does help.  We are typically on the same page so its pretty easy for us to agree on something.  He doesnt care about the small stuff for the most part.  He cares about the food and the “activities” and how we arrive and leave (transportation). 

    Two days ago we were sitting on our porch and he randomly says ” We should use one of the gift cards we got from the shower for towels”  ok…First off…what??!!? haha Second..We own like 20 towels!!! I will never understand!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3112 posts
    Sugar bee

    @FutureMrsD2013:  DH was definitely opninionated about our wedding details (he wanted final say on the BM dress color!).  It was great!  As in turns out, we are very equal in our marriage, so it makes sense that that’s how we were with wedding planning.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2276 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @FutureMrsD2013:  not really. He piped in here and there, and came to appointments, but he gave me full control.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1254 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My husband helped me only when I asked him to. He never volunteered to do anything or offered his help. He was involved in the planning process because I liked to talk to him about what I was doing, so he knew and was updated on everything, but he never actually offered to do anything.

    Post # 8
    Member
    822 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    He wanted to be a little more involved in the beginning but it was mostly about him saying what he didn’t want.  Finally I started asking what he had in mind instead and when he didn’t have an answer, he decided to back off a little 😉  But overall, he did a lot.  He was part of all the major decisions like the venue, food, etc.  And he even hand made all of the groomsmen & bridesmaids gifts as well as flower boxes for each table & our card box.  He even helped a bit with invitations.  But when it came to the little details like decorations, he left it to my Mom & I.

    Post # 9
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yes he is. 

    He’s not very good at actually organising anything or finding out friend’s addresses so I’m doing all the actual logistics planning.

    However he’s helped out with some of my crafting when asked. 

    His major contribution though is words and music.  I’m a maths type person, my english is boring and functional, he’s a linguistics type and fentastic at english.  I put together a wedding website, showed it to him to ask what he thought and fill in a few areas.  He took one look at it and decided the wording was terrible and unromatic, deleted it all and re-did it a million times better than it was to begin with.  He’s also choosing the readings and music (with my input but he’s driving it) as again he knows more about literature than I do.

    Additionally, while he doesn’t have that many ideas, the ones he does have are generally wonderful (depending on your view point), for example, we’re having a 5m round Moroccan tent in the grounds of the venue he decided it would be cool and I had to agree, it will be the coolest part of our wedding and that was his idea.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Yes! He is helping to plan & coordinate about 70% of everything.
    We try to do everything 50/50, but he is the main contact for our vendors… not only do I not like making phone calls and negotiating (but I’m learning!), they seem to listen to him more!
    We get faster responses when he brings something up. Don’t know what that’s about, but I am fine with it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    He’s paying for it, does that count?! Lol.

    He’s helping a little bit, I guess. If I need an opinion or need to make a decision he will help and we picked the venue together. He doesn’t really care about all of the other details though so that has been all me so far.

    Post # 12
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    When it comes to making larger decisions, he does help.  Not so much the planning but offering advice and assistance. There is only so much he can do; he has a 4-hour a day commute and is out of the house 14-hours 5 days a week.  He has no time or energy for anything else besides work, exercise, eat and sleep. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nope. I have to appoint a task to him and remind him for 3 weeks to complete it lol. Then again, this is how our relationship is. I have a household calendar in our kitchen and set up most of our social/travel plans, with his approval. He’s pretty passive, but I love him and definitely need him to keep me grounded 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    He helps, but only when his mom is around and actively planning stuff with me (she’s helping with flowers/decor).

    The other things he does for the wedding I’m not classifying as “help.” It’s as if I need to break down and cry for him to understand that I would appreciate him doing simple tasks to make things easier for me. I start out asking very nicely, I don’t put pressure on him to get it done immediately, I don’t nag, I don’t try to control him. He takes advantage of my kind approach and procrastinates until I have no choice but to cry or get mad to finally get him to do things.

    Post # 15
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    For the most part, FI gets bored with the details and just wants me to take care of it. But he does have an opinion on what matters to him, like the food & of course the guest list. Mostly big things. He cares about his attire & what the groomsmen wear.

    Some men want to be much more involved than others, so if there was an option on the poll for “a little/only big decisions” or something that would have been better. I don’t think it’s just yes or no, since there are many different degrees of involvement.

    Post # 16
    Member
    855 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    He did what I asked him to do, but that was it. He could care less about invites, colors, decor, or any of the rest of the little stuff, but if I asked him to do it, he would get it done and quickly.

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