Do your parents know?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do your parents know you guys are talking engagement?
    Yes, both sets of parents know : (64 votes)
    37 %
    Only my parents know : (17 votes)
    10 %
    Only his parents know : (11 votes)
    6 %
    He talked to my parents about it : (18 votes)
    10 %
    I talked to my parents about it : (31 votes)
    18 %
    We talked to our parents about it together : (7 votes)
    4 %
    We're waiting to discuss it until it becomes official : (26 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My patents haven’t the slightest clue. I don’t know how I’m going to tell them yet. He might’ve talked to his dad about it but we will definitely wait until we are formally engaged to tell anyone.

    Post # 4
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    My SO and I talk about getting engaged all the time.. our families get along really well (my parents frequently spend weekends at my SO’s parents house with us) and we ALL talk about our future engagement/wedding together. All of them (FSIL & FBIL included) at some point or another have said something like “when Brickette & Brick get married.. blah blah” if we are all together having a drink or something.

    His parents have already offered their property for a reception if we want it.. but I know in saying that my SO will ask my dad for his blessing before he actually pops the question! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee

    SO’s parents keep asking him where my ring is lol. They want us to get married and give them grandkids. I keep telling them we’ve given them grandkids, being the cats and dogs ;). I’ve spoken to Dad about getting engaged and when he was over last weekend, all three of us (Dad, SO and I) spoke about what we’d like at the wedding etc. So both set of parents know :).

    Post # 6
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Yep when I got all excited about the real possibility of becoming engaged I let slip a few times stuff about weddings and getting marred early next year. I don’t talk to them about it anymore. Haha but yes, they know. Not sure that he has asked for dads blessing yet. SO has also made his parents aware of his future intentions. 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted “We’re waiting to discuss it until it becomes official”.Funny you posted this.. I was just stressing about how this engagement thing would all go down with the parents. I don’t know if SO’s parents know. I really don’t think SO talks to them about anything except the bare minimum. He isn’t a real talker. We haven’t said anything to my parents…I have no idea how we are going to tell them. I’m not really itching to tell them that I’m “waiting” for an engagement because I don’t want them to second guess my SO or me or anything. I imagine that after 4+ years together, they have to be thinking we will move towards engagement. I’ll deal with them when I have a ring on my finger to distract me from the negativity tho haha. I definitely think my life will be a lot easier if my SO asks my dad ahead of time and breaks the ice for me, but if he doesn’t, I don’t blame him and we will talk to them together. I can tell my mom has been upset lately thinking about the idea of me maybe moving away (with or without SO..not engagement dependent) and she would probably project that negativity onto our engagement and link it with me leaving. Ugh I just want everyone to be happy…it’s actually really stressing me out that I don’t think she will take it well and my dad is so unpredictable that I hope I catch him on a good day with the news. I almost wish I could learn to be more selfish and just get engaged because I know I will be happy and not care what other people want :/. I love her so dearly that I prefer my mom to just be pissed at me about it and not be depressing about it. It’s making me more depressed lately when I know that, realistically, this whole engagement thing is just going to entail a lot of awkward and awful conversations when I just want it to be joyful. I am thinking it is like a 75% chance of a negative reaction and a 25% chance they will do the mature thing and just be happy for me and supportive so I can enjoy it. I’m taking solace in the fact that I know my grandparents will be so thrilled for us :).

     

    Yeeeeeeah sorry about that digression. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish

    @MadameX:  My SO parents don’t even know how my SO and I met….. His parents are so much in the dark I want to hand them a match and a candle.

    Post # 9
    Member
    81 posts
    Worker bee

    @MadameX:  My dad would sh*t a (happy) brick if he knew my SO and I have talked about rings and weddings, because he LOOOOOVES my SO! It’s amazing, but I also wanna hold off on talking about it with any of our parents as I feel that even though they’d all be delighted, they’d also probably be intrusive… And I’m not sure I could handle all the nagging of when/where/hows!

    Post # 10
    Member
    2151 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Yup. My mom and I casually talk about it all the time. She’s even tried to get me to contact venues for information. I’m pretty sure she has my whole wedding secretly planned lol. We went for dinner the other day and she told me that she talked to my dad too. 

    My SOs family knew that we went to look at rings about 6 months ago, but he had a serious conversation with them today about us getting engaged in the near future!

    Post # 11
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee

    Both his parents and mine know that we have a timeline, we started really saving up earlier this year and it was a bit of a give away. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee

    Both our families know. In fact, my mom said she knew we were going to get married before me and him even talked about it. 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    My parents know everything and I basically update them on the situation daily. Besides the fact that his Mom follows both of us on Pinterest, I’m pretty sure SO’s family has only slight clues. He is nervous about telling his parents what we’re thinking. He chalks it up to our parents not having met yet, thus he doesn’t want to tell them we are talking about marriage, but isn’t that normal for a lot of couples? I did not know it was standard fare for the parents to meet before an engagement is announced. Personally I am a little hesitant to get my family emotionally involved with his family UNTIL we announce our engagement. Know what I mean? It would be more hurtful for all involved if families got close, and then things fell through. I don’t anticipate us breaking it off, but I am a bit of a pessimist.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2968 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Both our families knew about as we asked each other’s parents for their respective blessings beforehand. When I called my mom after he proposed, she basically said “Congratulations! It’s what you’ve wanted for ages!” Tongue Out Lol I thought “Jeez Mom, make me sounds a bit desperate why don’t you lol?”

    Post # 15
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

    Mum knows that I’m hoping to get married to BF in the future, and she knows that I’ve brought it up with him. She’salso my main ssupport when the people around me get engaged.

    but that’s it really 🙂 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We are technically engaged but are not announcing our engagement/getting a ring until after he talks to his parents about it and they meet me in October.

    My parents know, we have spoken with them together AND my SO had the chat with my dad, in the same weekend that we booked the venue and bought my dress. 

    So my parents REALLY know, and his parents don’t know at all yet. They are in another country and he wants to tell them in person. 

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