Post # 1
So, one of my dear friends is pregnant with her second child. We were all out to lunch and talking about how great it is, we are all very happy for her and her growing family! At lunch she mentioned that she was planning to have another baby shower. The reactions were pretty mixed. Nobody came right out and said it but I think that a few people thought this was rude of her.
My personal feeling is have whatever party you want to have. If somebody dosn’t want to attend or bring a gift they don’t have to. I’m sure I’ll go and bring a gift. I love her and I love her babies. But, I will admit I do find it a little bit gift-grabby.
Her first son is about to turn 3 and she has a huge shower when she was pregnant with him. Her mother threw it and I mean there was easily 30+ people in attendance and she received hundreds of gifts.
So, what is the opinion of people here? Do you get only one baby shower? Is it gift-grabby?
I’ve added a poll, I’d love to hear what everyone has to say!
Post # 2
It doesn’t “seem” gift grabby it is gift grabby. Particularly since she’s throwing her own shower! What else is that other than a gimme-gimme shakedown?
You get one shower to celebrate becoming a mother and to help you prepare for the baby. After that, you’re already a mother and you should have what you need for any subsequent children. Even if you don’t, it’s not up to your friends and family to provide it – thats your job.
Post # 3
March1stBride: Wait, is she throwing her OWN shower? That’s gift grabby whether it is a second baby or not.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
It does seem gift grabby but I agree that if it was a good friend of mine I would still go and give a gift because I’d still be happy for her. I could understand it even more if she was having a baby girl this time and wanted to get all new girly things.
Everyone I know though has only had one baby shower except one case. My aunt had two girls and then 5 years down the road got pregnant with twin boys! A family member threw her a shower and everyone was happy to attend and bring a gift. Not only was she in need of some things for having a boy but two of them!
Post # 4
merpitymerp: I actually have no idea if she plans to throw it herself or not, it never occured to me. What she said was “I’m looking forward to the baby shower! The first one was so fun!”
Post # 6
If it is the same sex — yes! very gift grabby. Especially since she’s throwing it HERSELF! If she is having a girl this time around — I would just throw a small intimiate one – not one expecting hundreds of gifts!
Post # 7
It’s gift grabby that she is throwing it herself, but the fact that she’s having a 2nd shower wouldn’t really bother me too much. A new child is a special occasion for any family and deserves to be celebrated. I’m not as likely to buy a gift if the second child is the same gender as the first or they are close in age, though.
Post # 8
I think it depends. I agree with 1stLadyJackie: . If it is going to be a small, intimate one with only closest friends and family, I don’t think it’s wrong. People that close would be getting a gift for her whether she had a shower or not.
If she has another blow out shower, or hosts it herself…then I’d find it in bad taste.
Post # 9
If she really wants to have another “baby shower” she should do what my friend did. She just had a BBQ at her parent’s house, invited all her closest people and had a raffle, the way to enter the raffle was to bring a box of diapers. The more diapers you brought, the more tickets you entered in the raffle.
She already has everything, but diapers are always necessary, no matter what baby you are on.
Post # 10
It would be terribly gauche of her to throw herself a baby shower for a second child.
A second shower would be a nice gesture for a friend or family member that is expecting multiples or that has a substantial gap between kids (5 years +), but it certainly should not be something that she organizes for herself.
Post # 11
March1stBride: If she’s throwing her own shower and has a registry, yes its gift grabby.
But maybe her mom is planning on throwing her another one. That’s hardly her fault.
Or maybe she’s just planning on having a baby celebration type thing, and isn’t really looking for gifts? I’ve heard of people doing that.
Post # 12
March1stBride: My best friend had a shower for her second although it was much smaller than her first. I didn’t think it was gift grabby but I’m pretty relaxed about these things about would have gotten her something regardless. Her first was a girl and her second was a boy. She made a speech thanking everyone for coming and saying that she wanted time to celebrate this baby which is hard with a toddler. Her mother and sister in law threw the shower.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
It doesn’t really bother me either way. But the only reason I would have another shower is if I had a surprise pregnancy when I was expecting to be done, so I may have given stuff away or thrown it away.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton
I was always told that you always have one baby shower, but I know some people who were brought up differently. So I would think it’s a little gift grabby, but maybe not intentionally so. Also, my fiance’s sister had to force his other sister to register for some things for her second baby – we wanted to give her gifts, but she felt like asking for things was being gift grabby. I appreciated being able to show our support/excitement by mailing something instead of taking a chunk of time out for a second baby shower.
Post # 15
March1stBride: definitely gift grabby. I get so irked when people have baby showers after they already had one. I mean how much more stuff are you expecting to get? Do they want all new things? I mean it would be logical to reuse the furniture at least from the first baby, they would just have to get new clothes and she shouldn’t have a shower to get all that, its so tacky.