Does a Wedding Planner Actually Plan? Am I missing something?

posted 2 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d fire her and find a planner who’s experienced at short-timeline planning.

Post # 3
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

 1. She may have more than one client at a time. But that’s bad on her part. Tell her you’d like increased communication at decent hours.

2. Simply tell her you’d like her to be a little more proactive, unless you misunderstood what she meant by her services.

3. Just because it says 9-12 months doesn’t mean that you’re SOL for getting it done. That’s for brides who have the luxury of a year-long engagement. And she’s right– if something doesn’t apply to you, leave it out. No harm.

4. Wedding planners are a little hesitant when it comes to making big suggestions like your colors. You wouldn’t take her to a dress shop and ask her to pick out your dress for you, would you? Maybe give her one color you like, and ask her to make suggestions on complimentary colors. But I believe she’s right that color palettes are something that are readily available online. (Google Pantone)

5. Setting up tables and chairs is usually the venue’s job. Handling small decorations is usually the wedding planner’s job. Now, if she said she offered set up and break down of decorations, this should include getting the linens put on the tables, and packed up by the end of the night. You are responsible for getting most things to her before the wedding, and responsible for getting them back to vendors who rent things like linens to you, unless otherwise specified. Mine has told me that as long as I get it to her a few days in advance, it’s no big deal. You’ll also need to designate someone in your wedding party or family to take centerpieces etc. that you purchased yourself, at the end of the night.

6. She sent you the cake bakers as suggestions probably before she checked the date. That was an oversight on her part. She should have called ahead to see if they were available.

7. Big big red flag that she mixed up your wedding date! Talk to her about that.


I think there’s a mixture of a miscommunication going on about what the responsibilities are, and a lack of action on her part. Some of these things sound like you’d like to get out of responsibilities that really are yours or your FI’s– and heck, some wedding planners will take command of all of it. But other things are big red flags on her part. Each wedding planner is different on what they offer. Look at your contract, and if she’s not holding up her end of the contract, you can just fire her and take the deposit loss.

Post # 4
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

It seems you’re communicating mostly via email, which is fine if things are on track. Since they’re not, I’d call her. You can express your concerns using the terms of your contract. “Jill, I hired you because you were recommended for people in my situation. I was expecting XYZ, which is spelled out in our contract. I don’t feel like we’re communicating well, and it is especially concerning that important details, like my actual wedding date, seem to be unnoticed. This is what I need from you in the next ten days: three appointments with bakers available on August 23, X, Y, and Z. Are those tasks that  you can manage? Please send me an email by Friday at 3:00 with an update.” 

Post # 6
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

She is not a good fit. Sounds like she is more of a coordinator than anything else. 

RedHairing:  totally agree. Give her a call and discuss things.

Everyone works differenrtly, but she is performing a service for you and really needs to conform with how you operate. 

Post # 9
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

MrsDavistobe:  She sounds like she’s more concerned with handling your day of, not actually planning out the wedding.  

I’d dump her.  But I have no patience for people and I have very high expectations.  

If you aren’t ready to part with her (or your deposit) just yet.  Why don’t you take that checklist she sent you and write a detailed email to her regarding all the items that haven’t been done.  

It’ll be loooong by the sounds of it.  But it’ll put you both on the same page.  And you’ll know who’s handling what.  Clearly defined roles will help, I’m sure.  And the communication from her sounds pretty awful, thus far, maybe this will help sort it out?  

I would be stressing if I was in your shoes too! 

Post # 11
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

MrsDavistobe:  Can you email to specifically schedule a distraction-free time to talk? If you mention you have some concerns that you’d like to bring to her attention, I’d hope she would take that seriously. If not, that may be your cue to find a new planner.

I’m an advocate of being direct with people (politely) to ensure expectations are clear. That way, she knows why you are taking your business elsewhere if it comes to that–and if it doesn’t, she has an opportunity to fix exactly the issues you’re worried about on a timeline that works for you. Your concerns are valid, and she needs to be made aware of them explicitly. 

Post # 12
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’d fire her and find somone else. I had to do this and hated it but it was worth it for peace of mind.

Post # 13
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Has she worked with a lot of clients doing full planning?  Because what she’s offering sounds like less than what my DOC did.  I’d explain your concerns, and if she doesn’t shape up within a week find someone else.  I’d also ask for a refund since she’s done basically nothing.  It wouldn’t hurt to ask!  

Post # 14
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MrsDavistobe: She’s not getting it done. In your case, I’d expect a detailed project delivery plan within a few days of contract signing, weekly touchbase calls with how you’re tracking to plan, etc. Have you asked her what her plan is for you guys to get realigned, stat?

You might have to manage her more or cut her loose, but I’m not impressed by her at all. 

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