Does anyone else feel a little silly 'waiting'?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1520 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

I don’t think a ring is necessary at ALL to consider yourself engaged-if you don’t want it to be. For some of us, yes, we really enjoy the tradition of having a ring present in the asking of marriage. But it’s certainly not necessary if you don’t want it to be. I would say talk to your SO about it. If both of you agree that the ring is just an extra step that can wait and you both 100% agree you want to be married, there’s nothing stopping you from calling yourself engaged if that’s why you both agree that you are. If your family or friends bug about it, wouldn’t it be easy to simply explain that the ring is still being reset? And tons of women propose to men too! That’s a perfectly valid route as well if you don’t feel like waiting and just want the go ahead to start all your planning. It seems the only one stopping you is you, so if both of you are chomping at the bit to get going, I don’t think a ring should stop you 🙂

Post # 3
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

LOL. I am actually laughing out loud right now. This sounds like my SO and I. We have been together almost five years and talked about many wedding related things — location, colors, guests, etc. But I am waiting for him to buy the ring and propose. I was raised feminist, I’m keeping my name when we marry, so I asked him once if I could propose to him. He asked me not to take that away from him, so as weird as it is and frustrating to “wait” I’m doing it because I love and respect him. I do completely agree with you though. It is TOTALLY weird in this day and age.

Post # 6
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

you are definitly not the only one in this exact situation mine has bought the ring it is ready to go anytime now just to wait……..  🙂

Post # 7
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

MissPoutine:  hahaha…still laughing. I am so happy to know I’m not the only waiting bee in this exact situation. Makes the wait easier, actually. Thanks! 

Post # 11
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

 

MissPoutine:   your username 🙂  As a fellow Waiting Canadian Bee hopefully the wait will be over soon

Post # 12
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe it would help to think that you’re not waiting because it’s “tradition” or for a piece of jewelry. You’re waiting because proposing to you is important to your SO. There’s nothing wrong with going along with things that make your SO happy, even when they’re a little silly. That is true throughout marriage!

Post # 13
Member
3346 posts
Sugar bee

MissPoutine:  First of all, your name is making me hungry! Haha.

Honestly though, I feel like if you’re actively planning a wedding, you’re engaged…I mean, at this point you’ve agreed that you’re getting married, right? Whether or not you want to consider yourself as engaged is another thing- I know some people consider the proposal/ring as what makes it official.But I know how you feel- this whole wedding thing has got me conflicted too as I try to grapple with traditions vs. my feminist inclinations.

Post # 14
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

 

JenGirl:   Atleast in my case the SO knows that this is probably the only surprise he will get to give to me ( I hate surpirses but made an exception for this) so he is enjoying taking his time 😛

Post # 15
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

 

ClaudiaKishi:  I see yor Canadian too, probably why you know what poutine is haha. I saw you in the upgrade thread I like your spunk, I am kinda like that too

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