Does anyone else feel out numbered..

posted 3 years ago in Secular
Post # 3
4076 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am not an atheist or agnostic, but I have other beliefs that are unusual among my friends/family. I do my best not to bring it up if at all possible. Is there any way you can firmly but calmly say something like “well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one!” nd then change the subject?

Post # 4
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

I don’t talk about it.  If it’s brought up point blank, like, “Will you please pray for me?” I’ll say something like, “I don’t pray, but you’re in my thoughts.”  Other than that, I consider it a non-issue.  Atheism isn’t a religion.  I don’t need people to “respect” my non-belief, any more than I respect their fervor for an imaginary man in the sky.


Post # 5
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@HappilyGeeky: I have to be honest, parts of your post seem a little misled. Christianity, as in proper Christianity (i.e. following the New Testament, applying Jesus’ teachings to our lives, etc) is massively outnumbered. All of “freaking texas” isn’t Christian, at least not in the proper way. The faith sector claims religion, and equates it with conservative (re: republican) values, which isn’t always the case. So to say Christianity isn’t outnumbered is false. True, Jesus-following, well-meaning men and women of faith are drastically outnumbered by looney right-wings.

That being said, I think if you are of an age where you are allowed to make your own decisions (which you are), your family should accept you and love you the same. It’s what I do with my family and friends who don’t believe like I do.

I hope none of this was offensive, OP. I just wanted to show you we aren’t all bad, and we sometimes feel helpless just like you.




Post # 6
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Miss_Words:  I think what OP means is that society deems it socially acceptable to be Christian (because 70-something percent of the US claims to be) and it is “normal”. Christians, whether “true” or not get to talk about their religion all the time and say that everyone should follow by “Christian rules” (though normally they’re wrong about that as you know, lol!), but people who have more uncommon beliefs (atheist, wiccan, Buddhist, etc) are found to be “just immature” or “weird”. You are right though, the number of people who actually walk the talk are few and far between. ;D I’m sure it is just as awkward for the people who truly follow Christianity to be around the psuedo-Christians as well!




@HappilyGeeky:  I totally get you OP. I’m spiritual and kind of the black sheep in my family because I’m kind of strange in their eyes. My father’s family is the whole conservative Christian deal…and I run a spiritual, revolationary-friendly yoga studio and do all kinds of other weird stuff. ;D


Post # 8
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I just ignore all the negative comments about me not being religious. At first I was mad, because just like you, I was always told I will “out grow” it. Well, I didn’t. Then even my side of family kept telling me how I need to find God and have a better life. Thank you very much, my life is awesome as it is. So now, I just ignore everything they tell me religion-wise. 

Post # 9
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How frustrating.  I hate how people sometimes feel like they’re entitled to tell you you’re wrong when it comes to religion.  I, too, do not believe in religion and have gotten many comments from friends.  Also, I agree, most of the time it is a Christian person telling a non-christian person they are wrong in some capacity (do not mean this in an offensive way, just stating an observation.  Also not saying that ALL christians do this…).  


Live and let live, people!!!

Post # 10
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

You should move to New England! There’s like 10 Christians in the whole six-state area! And I went a whole year without a Mormon missionary knocking on the door!

Post # 12
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My Mom is still convinced that Catholicism is some kind of reverse Judiasm and passed down through the father, therefore I must be genetically Catholic.  Keep in mind my Dad was an EastMas Catholic at most, only went to church because she dragged him and quit going when I did.  Oh, and she’s Shinto.  I knew I didn’t believe in the Catholic deity or any other by the time I was 12, which is when I quit going to church.  For almost 20 years, she’s constantly reminded me that regardless of my personal feelings, I’m Catholic. 

On the plus side, my fiance is an atheist.  She’s aware of that, and apparently in her world, converting to the religion (or lack thereof) to your spouse trumps genetic Catholicism.  Sometimes, all you can do is shake your head, sigh and change the subject.

Post # 13
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Miss_Words:  at first, your post had me going and then I got to the middle. You are so right, as I don’t recognize the teachings of Jesus in much of the current right wing.

@HappilyGeeky:  it seems like you are facing a lot of intolerance and dismissal of your right to make your own decisions, simply because they aren’t the norm where you are. You are clearly outnumbered so no wonder you feel that way. this is demonstrated in your example, it’s assumed it’s okay to ask you to pray, as if you are presumed t be a Christian. If you object, that’s an issue, which means the two are not equally respected. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, it would drive me nuts. thanks for starting such an interesting thread, I enjoyed every single response. 








Post # 14
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I just don’t bring up my beliefs either. I have some religious family and I just don’t talk about how I really feel about their religion (Christianity). They wouldn’t appreciate my honest opinion.

Maybe you can try not to engage in discussions with your family members about it? It might be helpful to make your personal views not up for discussion, and if they insist on discussing your beliefs even if you’re not engaging with them, leave. They’ll understand eventually. And they’ll eventually see that it’s not something that you will just grow out of or say to ruffle feathers.

Post # 15
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@BrandNewBride:  I so wish this was true. I’ve lived in southern New England my whole life. While it isn’t too bad here, we do still have our religious crazies.

@JenniMichele:  +1

@HappilyGeeky:  I’m thinking that your brother gets riled up for one or three reasons:

1. He honestly believes and is terrified for your soul.
2. He wants attention and will do anything to get it.
3. He just likes to piss you off.

If the reason is two or three just tell him to f#?! off and be done with it. Refuse to discuss the topic anymore and change the subject (or leave/hang up if he refuses to comply).

If the reason is number one. . . well, I guess he at least has good intentions? But I would say do the same thing as the other options (just nicer): tell him you appreciate his concern, but your views aren’t a topic for discussion. Then change the subject.

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