Post # 1
Because of my anxiety, I often worry about my relaitonship and my boyfirend’s safety to a level that bugs him. I try to keep a lid on it around him unless totally necessary. But I just feel like we have tiny little fights all the time! We don’t fight about big issues, but regularly we’ll have really annoying fights about stupid things.
Example: he tends to pay Lyft drivers less than the recommended amount because he thinks they’re overpriced. I told him that if he keeps doing that, he’ll get a bad rating and Lyft drivers will stop picking him up. We were trying to catch a Lyft and he wasn’t getting any replies, so i told him it was probably because he doesn’t pay enough. He started yelling at me (although to be fair, I was being cross) and kept saying “You have no idea how Lyft works, that’s not what your rating is based on.” Even though Lyft actually TELLS you that the more you pay, the more rides you get. We finally got a Lyft car after a long period of waiting, and then he kept rubbing it in my face about how I was wrong (I still think I was right! lol)
I know that’s a really silly fight but that’s the point. Why do we fight about such stupid stuff?! What can I do to put a lid on these fights before they happen? Often he instigates just as much as I do…if I say something that he disagrees with…even like a minor grammar mistake or something, he’ll argue with me until I admit I’m wrong. Should I just concede that he’s right about everything? LOL
Post # 3
@anon00: We pretty much ONLY fight about nonsensical things! ha!
I think as long as you are generally good natured about things, and your little spats aren’t becoming a huge source of contention, it’s really no big deal. If it starts negatively affecting your relationship maybe you need to take a step back.
SO and I LOVE giving each other shit. It is part of our relationship dynamic, and we think it is kind of fun to get under the others skin. BUT if it ever goes too far, or either of us seems genuinely upset, the other backs down immediately and drops it and apologizes.
I think if it comes up all the time, pick your battles. If it is something that matters to you, fight it out! If it is something dumb, just smile and nod and ignore his smug ass haha!
Post # 4
@jessicadarling: Haha ok at least we aren’t alone. He is just extremely stubborn, but I guess that’s a typical male trait!
Post # 5
It is good that those are the type of things you fight about instead of major issues! thats how we are too! I would call it more of a bickering between the two of us.
Post # 6
@anon00: story of DHs and my life :).
Post # 7
Pretty much ALL our fights are about stupid shit.
I can’t even remember the last time we had a fight over something imporant. This is mostly my fault, I think. I’m very argumentative and stubborn (I would have googled the answer, I’ve done that before).
Once we got into an argument about whether animals could understand humans. I said it was theoretically possible, because over time they learn to associate words with actions, like when you tell a dog ‘sit’, or tell a horse ‘whoa’, so in theory I said they could. He said it was not possible. I googled and found a parrot that has mastered the english language. I also found that apes can communicate with humans in sign language (fun fact: they have answered every question asked of them, but have never asked a question). There was also the dog on Ellen that had a ball. It was a pretty dumb thing to argue over! I’m POSITIVE we have had arguments that were even more ridiculous than that though, I just can’t remember them at the moment. Our arguments kind of morph too, like one second we’ll be arguing about one thing, and then somehow we are arguing about a different subject.
That’s how we are too! I know heaps of bees are really anti-teasing/name calling, but we do it in a joking way and neither of us get upset by it, it’s just a bit of fun!
Post # 8
We fight about stupid shit when one or both of us is already in a shitty mood.
Case in point: today I had to go to an all-day meeting 2 hours away, which is never fun, and it was hot out, and FI wasn’t home when I expected him to be so I buzzed our apartment uselessly for a couple of minutes with my arms laden with crap because I didn’t want to put everything down to find my keys, and when I got in the apartment I found that FI had forgotten to turn the window fans around before he left for work so the fans spent all day pumping hot sticky air into our apartment, and it was already 5:30 so I had to start cooking dinner immediately instead of taking a half-hour to dick around on the internet and decompress, so of course my solution was to get all up on FI when he got home about how he didn’t do all of the dishes last night.
Never mind that he COULDN’T do them all because I dirtied so many dishes cooking and baking last night that our kitchen was physically OUT OF ROOM to dry them and he was planning on doing them right when he got home, which he told me before shutting himself into our bedroom to escape my ridiculously ill-aimed wrath.
So that was fun. We’re good now; I managed to make dinner without breaking anything and FI and I watched an episode of Once Upon a Time after the smell of food drew him from the bedroom.
Post # 9
We get cranky with each other when we can’t hear the other when we’re in a store…lol
Post # 10
@anon00: Example: he tends to pay Lyft drivers less than the recommended amount because he thinks they’re overpriced.
I didn’t identify with your post because my SO and I don’t really fight, but if he pulled shit like the above, heck yeah I’d be annoyed with him on a regular basis.
Post # 11
Our biggest conflict on any given day is what to eat. Neither of us really cares and we are both terribly indecisive, so we end up getting frustrated and going hungry or arguing over it. So stupid, but it’s better than having some huge awful fight!
Post # 12
Uh, yes, and it’s usually around my time of the month. I’ll usually preface a particularly ridiculous comment with, “Babe, I am having a REALLY HARD TIME keeping the lid on this can of crazy right now, but…” and he’ll know to take it with a grain of salt because my uterus has waged war on my whole freaking body and it’s not really *me*.
Post # 13
99% of our fights are stupid fights. lol We agree on most major issues but the little things not so much.
Sounds like your SO got mad because he feels controlled and belittled. Sometimes you just have to let it go. and sometimes he does. In all seriousness, just let him do what he’s gonna do you can’t control every aspect of it. This is a very difficult lesson for both of us to learn because we are stubborn as hell.
Its the common marital advice of “let the little things go”.but we have yet to master that.
I’ll tease him about it, but i try not to criticize unless it really annoys me.