Does anyone else find this a bit rude?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you find this rude if it happened to you?
    Yes : (96 votes)
    60 %
    No : (63 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @RockyTop15:  Its rude. When I sent my invitations out to a couple that was not married but I knew they were dating for a long period of time I addressed it to the following

    Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Brown (Not acutal names just an example of what i did)

    ANd the fact that you knew her before your SO, eekk, I would be upset too!

    Post # 5
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @RockyTop15:  It’s rude. The only time I put “guest” on my invites is if we truly did not know who the person would bring. If they know your name they should have used it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    898 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @RockyTop15:  It’s “rude” but they could just a) be ignorant to wedding ettiquette or b) they could have been too lazy to look up everybody’s SO’s so they just put “& Guest”

    Post # 7
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yeah I’d be a little annoyed by this. I only put “& guest” on people’s invitations that were single (everyone got a +1) or who I knew were in a relationship but it hadn’t been very long. Ex: one of my friends just started dating a guy a couple months ago, well she’s not known for staying in relationships very long so I put “& guest”. Serious relationships (engaged and not engaged) were addressed to both parties.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @RockyTop15:  oh ok, sorry my mistake, I misunderstood—but still the point is SHE KNOWS YOU! She knows your name and its not like you have been dating for a month or two. You live together! and have been together for 3 years. SHe should have acknowledged you on the invitation!

    Post # 9
    Member
    5222 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I have to go against the majority here. 

    1. It’s just a piece of paper,  I will never understand why people get so bent out of shape over it
    2. Sorry,  but people break up/separate all the friggin time. While I was in the planning phase,  several of our groomsmen had serious gf’s that they ended things with.  I addressed everything moving forward with “& guest” because there’s no way I could have guessed their next flavor of the week.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    4367 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Im thinking she just wanted to treat unmarried couples the same and put & guest for that purpose. I don’t know if I would take a day off from a new job for this wedding despite what the invite says, anyway.

    Post # 11
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @RockyTop15:  While I understand that you are upset by this, I voted that it wasn’t rude for a particular reason. Unless you know for sure, you can’t assume that they were the ones that put the invitations together/addressed them.

    I’m engaged, and I got an invitation from a girl that I work with that was addressed to me and guest. I’ve been engaged longer than her, and she obviously could have easily have gotten his name from me at work. However, when I got the invite, the RSVP was addressed to be returned to her parents in a different state which told me that she probably didn’t have much to do with actually putting them together. 

    Now obviously everything I said is null if you know that they personally sent out the invites. I still don’t think though that anyone meant to slight you. They might have just put and guest on everybody’s to make it easier for whatever reason. Or what if they thought you might not be able to come and wanted him to feel like he could bring a friend so that he wouldn’t have to go alone so they made it more general as ‘guest’? In the end I don’t think anyone intentially meant to slight you by doing it, so I wouldn’t spend too much energy getting upset at them over it. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2973 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Mrs_Amanda:  You said it better than I could. 

    This is one of those things that one shouldn’t spend their time worrying about. 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It’s rude but she was probably just being lazy. She may have not even been the person who addressed the invitations.. Yeah it’d irk me too but it’s something to let go.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3424 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    No, man, thats rude. I would only put and guest if I didn’t care who the other person brought. Like i would feel that she would want your bf to bring anyone BUT you. Thats how it seems to me

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