(Closed) does anyone else find this strange?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Some people like to keep their social and professional lives separate. I wouldn’t take offence.

Post # 5
1330 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe they feel if they dont go to the reception, they dont have to give you a gift.

Post # 6
1330 posts
Bumble bee

And that has nothing to do with being well-paid…even well-paid people need to set their budgetary limits. 🙂

Post # 7
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree that some people like to keep work and life separate.  When I was advising masters students during my postdoc, I never would have gone to a social function with them, especially one involving alcohol.  It’s just uncomfortable for everyone.

Post # 8
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@fivemonthsnotice:  Maybe they feel if they dont go to the reception, they dont have to give you a gift.

This. I work with someone who thinks like this and I suppose it makes sense.  Guests just going to the ceremony don’t cost the bride and groom anything so they get out of giving a gift.

Post # 9
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with the boundaries between personal and professional.  A wedding ceremony is not a “social” situation whereas the reception is a social one.  Many professors, I’m sure, would rather keep the boundary of professor and student.  As an educator, I would not attend a function like that of any of my students.  Imagine if they went to every wedding they were invited to from former students!  They would never have free time.  I would not dwell on it or take it personally.  Unfortunately, you may see them as an important figure in your life, but you are one of many to each one of them.  Not that you didn’t make an impression or that they don’t care, it’s just the nature of their careers.

Post # 10
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I agree that maybe they don’t want to mix work with pleasure. But maybe they are concerned about the additional costs you have to pay it they attend the reception (dinner, bar, favors, etc). They were once poor graduate students themselves.

Post # 11
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

They are honoring you by going to the actual ceremony, but setting a boundary by not attending the reception.  Like others have said, don’t take it personally.  

Post # 12
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have some people (my late mothers friends) who will just be attending the ceremony also. And their reasons are just b/c they are older and just dont want to be around the loud music, alcohol,and the whole partying scene. I truly doubt its because they dont want to buy a gift.

Post # 14
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


I really think that’s all it is. So no need to worry Wink

Post # 15
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My parents attended most of my friends’ wedding ceremonies, but not the reception. They said they had watched these kids grow up and wanted to be a part of the special day. However, they didn’t feel it was their place and didn’t want my friends to incur the extra cost of hosting them for the reception. 

In their eyes, the ‘important’ part of the day was the ceremony and the reception was just a party.

And yes, my parents gave all my friends very generous gifts, even if they didn’t attend the reception.  

Post # 16
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Even if the relationship is different then highschool  I could see why they would feel werid attending the wedding reception.

The topic ‘does anyone else find this strange?’ is closed to new replies.

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