(Closed) Does anyone else have a fiance that “doesn’t care”?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah…his attitude isn’t going to change down the line. This is the man you are marrying.  He won’t magically be interested in things after the wedding.

Men do tend to care less about all the little details we stress about.  They tend to think that all they need to do is show up that day and it will all work out.  I’ve dealt with that attitude. I’ve told him, “it all just magically happens because I work super hard to make sure it happens!”  I make sure he sees and knows how much effort I put into certain things, so at least he appreciates it that way.

Post # 4
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

So many men just don’t care about details – mine sure doesn’t. And if he’s like that now, it’s very unlikely he’ll change. My FI has a “things will work out, just wait and see” attitude but doesn’t realize or understand that they work out all the time because I work super hard to make sure they do.

Post # 5
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@BackyardLoveBird: My fiancé cares too much. Really wants to be involved in every decision. Its hard because we are long distance. Somedays I wish he did not want to be included.. :S

I would ask him if there is anything that he would like to plan? like the honeymoon? or the cake? Maybe photography? it will take stress away from you and he will be involved.

I let my fiancé plan a 2 week long trip before we were engaged and it was really hard for me to let go… and even harder for me to not make snarkie comments when something went wrong. At the end of it I was really glad I didn’t have to plan it, and everything did work out… and I HAD FUN!

 

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

For the most part, thats how my husband was. his reasoning was that I know what he likes and we like most of the same things, so for the most part, he trusted me to make decisions. He cared about the music, vows, and menswear, but pretty much everything else was left up to me and my bff.  personally, I found it easier, and whenI couldn’t make a decision, I gave him a couple options and he helped me make a decision

Post # 7
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I have a serious question and am really upset about something, he will sit and talk me through it. Otherwise, the only thing he cares about is being married.

Post # 8
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance has only really asked questions about the food, music, and alcohol.

At first he kept saying, “it’s all up to you, whatever you want” BUT then when I mentioned something he didnt like, he had an opinion.

I am throwing little surprise details into the wedding, so on the day he knows it’s about both of us, not just me. I know he’ll love and appreciate that.

All in all, I DO want him to be involved, BUT I know we might bump heads a little.

Post # 9
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Hollymarieee: hmmm… my FI was really interested in the food too…. apparently the saying is true, the way to get to their heart is through their stomachs!

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Captain013: LOL it’s hard to let go of the control and let them do things.  My hubby tries to take over certain projects now to show he’s competent and it’s so hard for me not to ask questions!

Post # 10
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@.twist.:LOL it’s very true! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am going to assume your wedding is 2012. Anyways, I think most guys don’t really care for the most part. my FI didn’t start having an opinion until this last month. 

Post # 11
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@.twist.: haha FI has told me he doesn’t listen until he hears “tasting” when I start “talking wedding” lol

Post # 12
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ohhh I feel your pain. I’m marrying a man who is extremely laid back — something I both love and despise.

For example, we were at our detail meeting last week discussing the cake with the reception person, and she wanted to know where our cake table would go. I looked at FI for his opinion and he goes, “I thought we were having cupcakes.” I had MENTIONED cupcakes ONCE before we booked our cake. He said he didn’t care, so I went with sheet cakes instead since it’s cheaper. And I told him the decision afterwards.

The only thing he “cared” about was the actual reception location. Every other decision I’ve made practically alone….he now has to pick out his tuxes soon and he can’t decide. GRR!

Luckily, I typically know what I want and usually just want back-up….so as long as I understand his lax attitude and don’t get mad it all works out!

Post # 13
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

give him some slack. most guys aren’t into weddings and they just want you to do what makes YOU happy. that is their way of contributing – they are guys! if weddings were for men there would be men’s wedding magazines….it’s just not their thing. who can blame them!? just be thankful he is there with you and he has made a commitment to marry you! i have learned that they would rather not be involved, but they do love to see us get excited about things…and that’s about all you can ask for. i get my guy involved with assembling things (i’m DIYing everything) that i know he won’t totally loathe doing, and he is happy to do it. just don’t give them too much or expect too much…this just isn’t their cup ‘o tea…

Post # 14
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Mine was only interested in the food and transportation to the point where he was annoying about it if he didnt get his way. On the flip side though, I am stressing about the little details and he tells me that he doesnt care. He would be happy if we were married in a field somewhere.

The topic ‘Does anyone else have a fiance that “doesn’t care”?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors