- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
Hi, everyone! Since this is such a varied group of people on here, I thought I’d see if anyone else has an FI/DH with a disability, and how that has affected you (if at all).
My Fiance is legally blind. He can still see some, but he can’t drive (we live a few blocks from the Metro, just outside of DC), and can’t, for example, read a menu in a restaurant. He has special glasses (they sort of look like binoculars) and a special computer screen at work, so he can read well enough in his office or at home, but I’ve never seen him use his special glasses in public, not even when we were picking out the engagement ring. I’ve gotten to the point where I can pretty much tell what he will be able to see or not, such as how close I have to be for him to recognize me (about 15-20 feet). Most days, I don’t even notice it at all – it probably helps that I have terrible eyesight too, but can wear contacts/glasses. And all my 5-year-old daughter knows is that he can’t drive – I don’t even think she realizes that he can’t see very well.
The biggest challenge I have is other people’s perceptions of what it means to be legally blind. Most of the time, I won’t tell people, and they won’t even notice unless we’re in a restaurant. (Seriously, if you work in a restaurant and see someone reading a menu to someone else, give that table extra time to order!) My 86-year-old grandmother pretty much flipped out when I told her, but since then she’s spent some time around him, and knows it’s not a big deal at all. My ex-H was reluctant to have my Fiance care for my daughter by himself, but as long as they are just at home, it’s not a big deal at all!
I think my biggest fear is that he will lose his sight totally, but if that happens, we’ll deal with it together. It’s been stable for decades, so hopefully that will never be an issue.
Thanks for listening, and I can’t wait to hear what others’ experiences have been!