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Just listen to your fiance. Sometimes people don't mesh. It could be jelousy, it could be she just doesn't like you, you might never find out. It isn't worth stressing yourself over
I do, but not exactly like yours. At times she is nice to me. Shes VERY moody and I feel like I have to force myself to be nice to her. All of this because I dont want to upsetthe FI and start family problems.
Once you are actually married and her brothers wife, say and do exactly what you please without giving a sh*t.
how old is she? I'm guessing late teens?
just because you are marrying into the same family does not mean you have to be friends - polite, respectful and friendly yes but if you have nothing in common then its a hard ask to be friends
i like and respect my SIL's, one is an amazing fantastic woman who i admire but i rarely speak to them and one lives in the same street and the other about 5mins away. we really dont have much in common except for being in the same family. yes if they rang me in the middle of the night needing help im out the door and on my way but otherwise please dont bother me. maybe your FSIL feels like i do
I'm not sure how to phrase it any differently, but she is flat out rude. Nevermind.
@InATizzy: youre both 23? Hmm.. something tells me you have accomplished more in your life than she has. Perhaps its a case of jealousy?
Whatever it is, good luck!
OMG My FSIL is a total B*%$! She totally ignores me and gives me the cold shooulder. I CAN'T STAND IT!!! When we go over to her house she never comes up to say "hi" and greet me. She acts like I'm not even there, it's like she looks right through me. When I finally go up to her to say "hi" she ALWAYS reponds "oh, hahaha I didn't even see you there." Seriously, because you were looking right at me! AHHHH I can't stand it!! I excepted her frined request on Facebook, I had ignored it for a couple of months. I didn't wnat her snooping through all of my pictures and commenting or judging. One day I put a post aobut how stressful wedding planning was and she commented something like - You know, you're not the only one getting married. FI is too and I'm hurt that you haven't asked for help or involoved our family in any of the planning- She made me look like a total jerk, as if I didn't want help from FI's family at all and I wasn't going to involve them in anything. I was so angry. A couple of weeks ago we went to her house for her son's bday party. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to talk wedding stuff and show them my binder of ideas. FAIL! His mom and 3 other sisters were totally interested, she on the other hand didn't even come to take a look, she saw that I was showing them wedding stuff, but acted like she wasn't interested. FOR REAL!! I had it with this woman! I will no longer go out of my way for her for ANYTHING. I have decided to ignore her and not let her bother me. I'm better off, and so id FI because he doens' have to see my cry and complain. I've have been nothing but nice to her. All of his other sisters are great, but she is just so rude and horrible.
I agree with 80sbee that she is probably jealous because A) you're getting a lot of attention from her family about the wedding/engagement and B) she wants to get married or have a meaningful relationship but doesn't
If FI isn't concerned about you having a relationship with her then I would just be polite but not go out of my way to be nice or mean. She's most likely looking for attention and any attention -positive or negative-is giving her what she wants. Just ignore her.
I don't have any problems with my FSILs but I'm not close with them either. I wouldn't even say that I'm friends with them or my FBILs. (I have 2 of each.) We are all friendly and and it's not uncomfortable but everyone is in different places in their lives. Out of FI and his 4 brothers and sisters, only his younger two siblings are close with each other. So, it's not all that important to FI for me to have a relationship with any of them. Likewise, my brother and I aren't super close but we're much closer than FI's family. I would say FI and my brother are friends but I wouldn't say either of them go out of the way to spend time/talk to/hang out with each other.
Not everybody is going to get along. Ideally, you would get along with your FSIL. But, that may not be feasible if you guys have conflicting personalities. My FSIL and I don't get along, whatsoever. We don't fight. We just don't speak. I ignore her and try to pretend she isn't around. I did try to make an effort, in the beginning, but I've found that it's just not worth wasting my time and energy on her. If it's not important to your FI that you be close to her, I wouldn't worry about it.
Trust me, you are not alone! My FSIL is a complete whack-job. She rolls her eyes, huffs and puffs at me, and is basically a crazy-jealous-psycho. We are not even allowed to talk about the wedding in front of her in case we "upset" her. How are we supposed to include her and invite her to events and things if we can't even talk about the wedding in front of her?
I hope you are able to ignore her and enjoy your special day! That's my plan, anyway!
Haha I was going to reply to each of you separately but the last few have pretty much said the same things. I just don't get it!!
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How common is it to have a FSIL or SIL that doesn't care to get to know you? I don't know if it's genuine dislike, jealousy, or what, but no matter how nice I have been to her, and how many times I have tried to include her in anything, she never changes. She stands and stares at me silently and rolls her eyes at me and my friends (we are all early 20-somethings...so come on, now) whenever she is in the same room. FI told me not to bother being friends with her and that trying would be a waste, but it still bothers me. I've recently taken to just ignoring her (I won't be outright mean, but if she stands and glares at me I do it right back now, because I'm sick of giving the benefit of the doubt and playing nice. It has been years, now.) I know it sounds immature, and I should be "the bigger person" but I've invited her to anything I thought she might like to attend (birthdays, etc) and if she shows up, she brings a ton of friends and acts like a bitch all night to me. Clearly, she has no interest in me, and it sucks!