Does anyone else have "wedding take over" family and friends? Is it just me??

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

In 99% of cases I wouldn’t worry… This is just how people get when you are first engaged. Excited and want to be part of it. I bet in 3 months when you really need help no one will be offering up color suggestions and must buy lists 

if it’s the 1% where your family really does try to take over then just be firm but calm and say something like you are excited to plan this together w FI but could they work on ….( and delegate a small task ….finding a bus company for transportation to the site, card box, address of great aunt gerty)

no one can take over unless you let them….otherwise its just all opinions/suggestions and just nod and say something like “oh interesting i never considered that”

Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think everyone is just super excited right now. In a few weeks or months it will all die down. If they do end up wanting to take over (which will only happen if you let them), you just need to tell them that while you value their input, you have decided to go with option A.

Post # 4
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I understand how u feel…I’ve been engaged almost a month and had several people go ahead and tell me what my flowers will be, my colors, y’all are getting married at our church, blah blah blah

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Ugh. I hope it’s just excitement!! If they don’t stop, you’ll have to nip it in the bud. Give it a month!

Post # 6
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Golf Course

Just give it a bit of time like PPs said. I got a similar reaction, and I kind of brushed it aside for 2-3 weeks and eventually after getting not much response people stopped saying those kinds of things. Just say things like “Thanks I’m still thinking on that colour palette” or “No I haven’t gotten around to dress shopping yet, still lots of time though!”

Post # 7
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Not me, but my cousin.  She has been engaged for about a year, but in May announced she would be getting married in July.  Her sister was planning a shower, then everything was scrapped when her FIs family stepped in.  They told her sister that “they will let her know about the shower”, they didn’t like the venue she had chosen for the reception, and picked another one.  They even took her to cake tastings and other wedding related planning and didn’t even ask my aunt, her mother, if she wanted to come along.  It seems as if her family is non-existent.  My cousin is too afraid, I believe, to speak her mind because she doesn’t want to make her FI upset.  (they claim they don’t fight, but it is because they each kiss the other’s butts). 

Post # 8
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

twobridesMD:  yeah, they’re just excited – my friends have been driving me a bit nuts too! I think they have no idea how much a wedding costs, because they keep asking if we’re going to have certain things – a photo booth, a day-after party (are you joking??). I know they’re not doing it to be rude or anything. I just kind of laugh it off or ignore it. I know they will understand when their time comes lol

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