Post # 1
I didn’t know where to post this-but anyway-is anyone else having an isue with changing your last name. I really love my name and I don’t want to change it. I would consider hyphenating it but that is pretty much as far as I would go.
Post # 3
I’m not changing mine. If there are kids someday, we might have to figure something out… but in the meantime, I’ll still be Doctor Girl.
Post # 4
I’m keeping mine. It is an emotional issue for me because I’m not sure I want to change it — it’s mine, and he’s not changing anything, but I would want to if he wanted me to. But no… so I am torn. I might consider changing it in the future. You could find a lot of responses on this topic if you searched. What are you thoughts about why you want to keep yours?
Post # 5
I go back and forth all the time — I LOVE my name. I know my FI would like it if I changed it (I’d like it if he changed to mine too) but is completely fine with whatever I choose.
The latest idea that we’ve come up with is to each take each other’s in a way
I’d be: First Middle Maiden HisLast
he’d be: First Middle MyMaiden His Last
So basically we’d both be having my maiden name as a second middle name. I’d go by First Maiden HisLast all the time though because I can’t imagine being addressed without my name.
That’s the solution right now.. we’re just contemplating it for awhile longer. I’m really excited about it because we’d BOTH have to change and take part of each other’s name. I’d hyphenate, but I don’t want to be the only one, and he’s got some weird thing about hyphens, just doesn’t like how they look.
Anyway, I feel your pain. It’s been the hardest part personally of the wedding process. I spend more time contemplating my name than almost everything else!
Post # 6
I don’t want to change mine but my FI thinks that I have to because it makes him look like and feel like less of a man or something like that. I told him I would change but I would have my name with a hyphen for professional purposes. Plus I have a unique last name that I wouldn’t want to give up for a more "run of the mill" last name.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of changing my name… it is MY NAME afterall. I’m no less me and no more him after the marriage. That’s not what I am bringing to this. I’m simply offering me, as myself, to support and be faithful to FI, as himself. No need for change or evolution of our selves, come as you are.
So, never going to change MY name.
Post # 8
I ended up changing it, but kept my maiden name as a middle name. I didn’t want to lose my name completely but I want our future kids to have the same name as both of us.
Post # 9
@mary-alice i should have looked for responses to this question before I posted..i thought of it right after. sorry!
I don’t want my last name to be Smith. That is pretty much it…I do love my last name too but maybe would have an easier time parting with it if the trade off was good. It’s a silly reason, and I tried to bring it up once and it was BAD-he was totally insulted but I’m going to have to try to bring it up again soon I guess because I really don’t want to.
Post # 10
Hmm… I DID change my name in January, and I’m still having some issues with it. I really loved my last name, and his is…different…
I have a hard time signing my new name, and introducing myself with my new last name. I feel like I’m pretending to be someone else sometimes. I’m sure I will get used to it, and although sometimes I wish I had kept my name, I know it means a lot to him that I changed mine, and I love that when we have kids we will all have the same last name. I feel weird about changing it until I think that my mom didn’t always have that last name – she had her own maiden name, but I love that she had the same last name as my dad and my brother and I…. sooo… I guess it will just take some time to get used to.
Post # 11
I originally didn’t want to give my maiden name up but in the end I settled for:First Maiden Married. I lost my original middle name at the expense of my maiden name.
Professionally though I have remained First Maiden, which is kind of interesting. I don’t think they plan on changing any time soon.
Post # 12
I do, I don’t tell my fiance but I’m sad about losing that part of my identity. I’m hyphenating professionally, which makes me feel better.
Post # 13
BTW, my mom didn’t change her name. Wasn’t a big deal to me at all. If anything, it was a nice symbol. I honestly don’t think kids care.
Post # 14
I’m keeping mine! I knew a girl growing up who was Myfirstname Hislastname and I didn’t like her! I can’t shake the association.
Plus, professionally I want to use Mylastname. I don’t want to loose my identity!
Post # 15
I am changing my last name and have been wanting to since I was a child. My name is Abaigael Smith Smith (*note "Smith" is not really my last name). My parents did it this way b/c they thought that when I was an adult and getting married, I would always then have my madien name. LOL! They were one step ahead of the game!
Post # 16
I like retaining my family name, so I’m moving it to my middle name and dropping my existing middle name. I wanted to share a last name with my FI though, because although being "connected" to my family is important – by having a shared name – it’s more important to me to be connected to my husband and future children by having a shared name, creating our own family.