Post # 1
im disappointed that my FI flat out refuses to say any speech. I was able to write a thank you speech to everyone on behalf of the both of us, but I also wanted to acknowledge my new husband and thank him and say some things about him that I love and how I’m thankful for him. Basically I thought the wedding day is the most important day to share your love for someone. I know it’s important to do it everyday as well, but it’s also something special for the wedding. But he says he doesn’t like public speaking, so I’m trying to accept it and be understanding. Plus its hard because my love language is words of affirmation. I couldn’t convince my FI to do it and yes deep down it hurts, but fine I’m making peace with it, but now he’s saying he doesn’t want me to say any speech to him either. He doesn’t want me talking about emotions at all at the reception. That just saying “I do” at the ceremony is enough. But to me it’s important because if there is anywhere you should be able to show love it’s at your wedding, and not saying anything about it at the reception is hard for me because that is mostly how I express love. I don’t just want to turn it off. I can maybe other days…but not my wedding day. 🙁 I’m not going to force him to say a speech…that would be wrong, but to force me not to say a speech i feel is wrong too. Any bees experiencing the same thing? Or am I wrong for being really bummed about this?
Post # 2
I didn’t know it was common for couples to say speeches to each other. The very thought makes me nervous, lol
Post # 3
I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride and groom gave speeches.
Post # 4
Oh, maybe it’s more common around here. But that does make me feel a little better to know it doesn’t happen at every wedding…then at least I know people aren’t expecting it.
Post # 5
Neither one of us gave a speech. We didn’t walk around to tables, either. We did thank everyone individually as they left, though, which was pretty much everyone at the same time.
Post # 6
I wanted to do our own vows, but DH was really uncomfortable with the idea, so to compromise, we both wrote them, and had our MOH/BM deliver them on the morning of. That way I got my words of affirmation, and he didn’t have to speak in front of a crowd. Maybe try something similar?
Post # 7
sara_tiara: that is a wonderful idea! Thank you! 🙂
Post # 8
I’ve never seen the bride and groom give speeches at a wedding, and we have no plans to.
Post # 9
Here it’s common for the groom to do a thank you for coming everyone speech. But my fiancé has massive anxiety so I was going to do it. But I have zero intentions to tell him why I love him in front if everyone.
Post # 10
I gave a short thank you speech at our wedding. It was right after toasts and I thanked both sets of parents, our wedding party and all of our guests for coming. I think I might have said one or two things about DH but I don’t really remember so it must not have been much. I think its good if one of you says something, I did it because he’s not big on public speaking either. My “speech” lasted maybe 30 seconds.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema
I’m the opposite, FI is ALL about the speeches. They’re the part he is loking forward to the most!<br />The first thing he did when we got engaged was ask people to speak. LOL
In NZ it would be very strange for neither the bride nor groom to thank everyone for coming.
We will both be doing speeches at the reception.
I undestand fear of public speaking is a thing, so he shouldn’t have to do one if he doesn’t want to, but you certainly shouldn’t be stopped!
Post # 12
This must be a regional thing, as I’ve never seen a bride or groom give any sort of speech at a wedding. Guests are thanked as they come through the greeting line after the ceremony or as they are saying goodbye as they leave the reception.
Post # 13
DH is also quiet, so I was the only one who did any sort of speech/toast. Short & sweet.
Post # 14
I’ve heard of the best man and the MOH giving speeches about the bride and groom, but I’ve not really heard of the bride and groom themselves giving speeches. I don’t think it’s weird, though. Just a quick thank you to the guests/staff/whoever for coming/helping seems customary, but I think it’s usually the bride who does that. I always thought the speeches about your feelings for one another were part of the vows in the ceremony (if you wrote them yourselves)…
Post # 15
Yeah I never heard of this before. The only people giving speeches is going to be our best man and MOH. And they are going to be brief and straight to the point. If you stop the music for too long with too many speeches, it kind of kills the party.
Besides, the entire guestlist already knows you guys love each other, you just got married. No need to have to express it beyond the ceremony.
My FI and I don’t even get to say I do as our ceremony will be in a completely different language neither one of us understands or speaks (long story) so we are writing each other vows that we will have delivered the morning of. As long as I know what is in his heart, I’m happy.