(Closed) Does anyone elses SO not help AT ALL with planning? (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My FI is extremely lazy when it comes to wedding planning, I think it is just a man thing, they really don’t care about all the stuff that we do. We were engages for 6-8 months before all of his friends and family knew about it. He finally pick his best man and gms and asked them via text message (one of them even called him out on it “you couldn’t take me for a beer to ask this you do it through text? times r changing” lmao) However, I have 2 fantastic children, and he is amazing with them, spends time playing with them, and will babysit if I need. I understand the frustration concerning his lack of interest in wedding planning, but that doesn’t mean it will carry over into other things.

Post # 5
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I wouldn’t assume that how he is with wedding planning is any indicator of how he will be as a father. Wanting to get married and wanting a wedding aren’t the same and some guys don’t care about any of the details…some are just afraid of messing something up. Maybe you can get some help from you mom, FMIL, sisters, MOH, friends?? I have helped many friends out when FI was uninterested. 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I tried to ask FI to help, he’ll look up one or two ideas and thats it. I have to constantly text/ call him to make sure that he called the places for the ceremony and reception to set up an appointment. He’s excited and everything, but I feel as if I’m going to be planning this all by myself.

Post # 7
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can imagine it’s very frustrating to be doing everything yourself! My FI is very helpful and will do things if I tell him to, but he’s definitely not into it as much as I am and tends to avoid the parts he doesn’t like.

Do you know why he’s avoiding helping you? What exactly does he want from the wedding? What is important to him? Has he avoided choosing groomsmen because he does not particularly care for having them? Does he feel you are making all the decisions one sided and don’t need him or his input?

Perhaps if you understand what is important for him in the wedding (good music? A great honeymoon? Dessert?) you can ask him to take care of those aspects. In not give him a to do list and tell him to get it done by the weekend…

Post # 8
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My FI hasn’t helped at all, except to shoot down ideas I have :p Normally he is a very sweet, helpful man who will go out of his way to help me cook and clean. I think wedding planning is a whole nother type of beast. I think my FI is terrified of pissing me off, or being dragged to a bridal show, so he just stays out of it. Except, of course, to tell me that we shouldn’t have a 6pm wedding because his parents will be drunk already. Sigh.

Post # 9
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My fiance isnt helping at all either.  I dont care.  I’d rather do it and have it done right!  haha. 

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