Does anyone feel…not excited about their wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes. I definitely have these moments.  Mostly, I am so excited for the wedding, but lately when I get stressed I think, “I just want to get this stupid wedding over with and be married already!”  It will be nice when everything I see, think about, and buy is not wedding-related!

Post # 4
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally relate.  I spent most of our planning period hating the planning, the expense, the worry, the dealing with family, the expectations, etc, etc….but i LOVED my wedding.  Loved it.  And it was all worth it, even the money we spent.  I seriously thought I would be happier just running off to Vegas and getting it done, but at the end of our reception, I looked at my husband and thanked him for pushing for a wedding.  I am so happy we did it, so all I can say is hang in there!  It’s all good in the end and the other side?  The married side?  Even more awesome. 

Good luck! 

Post # 5
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, COUNT ME IN. IM HAPPY TO BE MARRYING MY LOVE BUT IM SICK AND TIRED OF STRESSING ABOUT THE WEDDING!!

Post # 6
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Girl, I completely relate. Except my whole family and his is so excited. I would be perfectly fine going to the courthouse getting married with our parents there and taking the money they would have spent on a wedding! My mother knows id rather just elope so I told her from day one that she can plan everything just run some of it by me and ill say yay or nay (but I also have a very laid back personality). So i’m pretty much doing nothing except picking out my dress, the bridesmaids, and helping FI with his groomsman. TADA. just ask for more help so you wont feel so stressed and overwhelmed. Try take a little weight off your shoulders!

Post # 7
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I totally felt that way…which is why I DID go have a city hall wedding.  It was short, sweet, and I have NO regrets.  The best part is that it was $50 for marriage license and the ceremony itself was free.

Of course, now I am hearing all about how family members want a “real wedding,” so we are still going to plan a church wedding (actually a convalidation) later.  I guess I didn’t get out of the wedding stress at all; I just postponed it. 

Post # 8
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m totally with you.  I really don’t want to, but it’s all I ever think about.  I feel like I’m putting all of this work and money into it and I’m not even sure I’m going to love it.  I’m just ready to be married and on to the next chapter. 

I’ve also just started lying when people ask me how it’s all going – “Oh, it’s going great – so much fun!!”   HA!!

P.S. I think it’s funny that we’re all fall brides (except for ladyox – Thank you for your post-wedding comment, by the way!!  I need to hear those things right now!!)  Maybe it’s just this point in the planning….

Post # 9
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Holy crap you are reading my mind!!!  I’m excited to be his wife.  I’m excited that he’ll be my husband.  I’m excited for the ceremony, but the reception and all the planning for it—ugh, I’m so over it and ready to be done.  In the end we’ll have a 15 month long engagement (had to save money) and I really wish we could have just got married about 6-8 months after we got engaged instead—BUT can’t change that now.  Hang in there, we can make it through and we’ll love the outcome, it’s the stress that sucks and needs to just go away. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Aww, sweetie!  You know, I’m betting this is super duper common due to the STRESS of planning!  After pouring so much time, energy, and money into a single event, it’s totally understandable to just want it to be over already.  And other people may not seem excited, but it’s just because they’re not in the thick of it.  They’ll be excited on the day of, and you will too!  Because then it’ll be time to breathe, let everything go, and just enjoy it.  So keep that chin up!

Post # 11
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh I am with you 100%. About three months ago I just said “Meh, I’m done”. I have small triumphs, but for the most part I’m just putting on a front for my mom. I tell people all the time I can’t wait until August 8th. 😀

Post # 12
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

So I just looked at the wedding dates of most of the commentors, and will say I had the same feeling almost EXACTLY around the same time in the process as you all. When it is still sort of a ways off, but really pretty close. You’re doing all of the annoying stuff, and it feels like a HUGE chore.

I took almost a month long break from wedding crap. It was awesome. I actually highly recommend it. Or at least take a whole week where you do NOTHING for the wedding. All of the projects that are on your mind can be pushed off a week or just cut. Trust.

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i so thought it was me alone having this feeling and wondering whats wrong with me.

Post # 13
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Uh you’re definitely not alone. Obviously. 

I have wanted a courthouse visit from the start. But noooooo…FI and FMIL had to have a wedding. I’m so sick of planning. I have a countdown on my phone for it. Not because we’re excited for the wedding, but because we can’t wait for it to be over with! 🙂 We are excited though for the trip to the city we’re getting married in, and then for the honeymoon. It’s just the wedding we have to get through. 

Post # 14
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2017

YES, you’re not alone, and I’m hoping you figured something out. To all of the other girls who have arrived at this post because you are also not thrilled about all of this–here’s a story in solidarity.

I actually woke up in the middle of the night a few weeks ago with a very clear thought: “I’m not excited about my wedding.” I thought about walking around to all of the guests one-by-one in my wedding dress, talking to them and thanking them for telling me I look pretty. It wasn’t fun; it was awkward. I thought about not being able to get my bridesmaids’ super-nice gifts. I thought about the cost of our hair appointments. I thought about worrying about drunk drivers (we were planning to use UberEVENTS, but I know some people would drive anyway). I thought about how every woman I have talked to says they wished they had a smaller wedding, or no wedding, or at the very least, that they were so exhausted they could hardly remember it. I thought about how the dress I liked was $1K pre-alterations and I had dreams of buying a used on for less than $500.

I thought about how we had already cut out the cost of a DJ, the cake cutting, a champagne toast, an officiant (my brother would do it), liquor at the bar, a florist, and a planner, and our project cost was still at $16K pre-tips and pre-surprises. I thought about how I still didn’t fully understand where that number came from even though I’d gone over the list a thousand times (venue $3K, catering $6K, ceremony chairs and decor $1K, speakers and sound equipment $500+, photography $1.5K+, guest transportation $1K, day-of hair and make-up $1K (9 bridesmaids + 2 moms + 1 grammie), reception decor $500+, favors $100+, bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts $1K+, kids table $100+, a small cake $100+, etc., and my FI and I hadn’t even gotten dressed yet.)

And I still have over a year until the date. The reality of what I can really afford has hit me hard, and the idea that a reasonable budget means simple centerpieces, mediocre photos, boring food, and mediocre presents for my bridesmaids makes the whole thing seem completely undesirable. If I am going to spend all that money, I want something amazing. If I can’t have somethign amazing, then I don’t see why I’d bother to have anything at all. I think a lot of brides go through this moment, and I think a lot power through for the sake of others.

My FI and I just decided we will probably just have a ceremony with our parents and throw a party at a local bar/restaurant later instead of go through with this full-blown wedding. The cost of the wedding venue we wanted will pay for over half of the food and wine at the bar for the same amount of people. We are still technically deciding, but it will take nothing short of a winning lottery ticket to make me go back to that plan.

 

Post # 15
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee

I think most people will be with you on this one. It’s a lot of work and a lot of stress. I was SUPER excited when it was over and done with

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