Post # 1
One of my friends and I were chatting over the phone and she asked me how wedding planning was going and I gave her a quick run down of what is on my to do list for right now. She then followed up and asked me why did I think my fiance was “the one?” It caught me off guard, not because I have never been asked a variation of that question, but because I feel like my answers never tell the full story about how I feel. I know my friend didn’t mean it to be malicious and she was probably inquiring because we had already talked about some new “suitor” that she has. BUT I can’t help but feel no matter how true my answers they are lame or generic at best. Does any one else have a hard time explaining why they are in love/getting married that actually reveals their true feelings?
Post # 2
Sort of yea! I can certainly think of a tonne of wonderful things to say about him but I think the reason I know he’s ‘the one’ is a feeling that can’t really be put in to words.. I thought i’d been in love before but nothing like what I have with my FI.. and yes it is hard to explain! It’s just a constant state of being at ease and happy and feeling like things just ‘fit’.
I sometimes feel like when I describe it, it feels lame and generic too but maybe that’s because there aren’t words that really express how wonderful it is, so nothing really sounds right?
I actually feel like NOT feeling the need to shout our love from the rooftops and promote it all over facebook etc shows its the real deal because you don’t need to prove it to yourself or anyone else. You just know!
Post # 3
Oh yes, I have that problem too! I mean, of course it’s so easy to say that he’s smart, funny, good looking, sweet, caring, dropped everything and took me home and to the doctor when I had an eye infection while we were on holiday and never complained about it for a second, puts up with me when I’m stressed out (no easy task! lol) etc. etc. but I could also say most of those things about family members or really good friends.
I just explain to people that it’s that certain “je-ne-sais-pas-quoi” feeling that you either have or don’t have. I knew he was “the one” after one week of dating him.
I have noticed though that as we turn older, people don’t ask that question quite as much anymore as they did 10 years ago (I’m turning 30 this year). I guess that’s because more people already have that “when you know, you know” experience under their belt.
Post # 4
Yes! I find it so difficult to talk about my relationship with FI to other people. I feel so cheesey/lame explaining it and I always get all flustered and weird. Sometimes I think they’ll feel like I don’t like him at all but I don’t care, I know what I feel.
Post # 5
I always used to end up saying “He makes me laugh” which sounds so cliche. I’ve now taken to telling people that our friends compare us to Cory and Topanga from Boy Meets World. We’ve made them believe that love is real. That’s always been a wonderful compliment to us, and I think it tells the story better than trying to explain it with reasons.
Post # 6
I find it difficult to verbalize because it is personal to me. I don’t like sharing the intimate details of why I love him because I like to keep it between us. Probably weird, but eh.
Post # 7
MrsHistory-Bee: I always have a hard time explaining it when I’m caught off guard. When we got engaged (after 8 years together) his father asked me “Why do you want to marry my son?”. Not in a judgemental way, but more of a I-want-to-hear-how-much-my-son-is-cared-for way.
My answer to this was my best one to date. It went something like:
“I’m happy when I’m with him regardless of where we are or what we’re doing, I find myself wanting to put his happiness before my own, and I feel like he brings out the best version of me.” and then a lot of stuff about how we basically grew up and changed together and how I’m a better person with him.
My worst answers usually end up sounding just really cliche. Like “I can’t see myself with anyone else” BUT IT’S TRUE! lol
Post # 8
busybee3791: I feel the same way. I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that question before and I would find it strange if they did. I had an easy time writing my vows and I always verbalize my love to my partner. I don’t feel the need to verbalize it to anyone else.
Post # 9
MrsHistory-Bee: I can totally relate to this. I always end up saying ‘you just know’ which sounds really stupid. But for me, that was true. We started off during a very difficult time in our lives (separate things for both of us) and everyone told us it wasn’t worth it to pursue but we just KNEW we had to. It’s probably different for everyone and love is very complex.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Yes! Though I’ve always had trouble verbally expressing myself, but questions like that put me on the spot & I never know where to start.
Post # 11
playdohpants: That was an awesome answer! I too have been with my FI for eight years before we got engaged (HS sweethearts). Her question did catch me off guard, mostly because I was thinking “isn’t it obvious” lol.
Post # 12
MrsHistory-Bee: Lol right? Why would be together this long if we didn’t love each other?
Post # 13
I think it just comes down to the way I feel when I am with him, he makes me feel so good, so secure, I can name a million great qualities that he has, but ultimately it just that feeling, I never had anything like that before, everyone else pales in comparison.