- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I’ll try to simplify this, I was with an ex boyfriend for a very long time at a young age (met at 14, started dating at 15, and I was with him until I was 21- we dated 6 years basically). My ex was four years older than me, which was less of an issue then you’d think, but basically I wanted to wait on having sex which he was fine with. After we’d been dating 2 or 3 years, his ex girlfriend (older than him that also was the first/only girl at the time that he’d had sex with) came out of the nowhere contacting him trying to be friends. At the time, he insisted he hated her (she had cheated with him, but he had stayed with her but he was like 14 at the time he dated her and this was like 5 years later of not speaking). However she wouldn’t stop contacting him after he told her to stop, so I told her to stop in a not so nice way. She then said he had cheated on me, at the time I was pretty wrecked about it considering she was older and had sex. He inisted he didn’t and asked her when this happened, to which she replied a day which I had been with him all day so I dismissed it- mind you she also was a “lesbian” at the time. She began stalking me for the next two to three years until I threatened her with a restraining order (she had cut/dyed her hair like me, hacked several of my online accounts, was posting pictures of me and my ex on her myspace, showing up where I worked and my friends worked). Did I mention this girl had a record for shop lifting, drinking and driving underage, and drugs? It was a mess. Later I found out she had harrassed/stalked a few other of her ex boyfriend’s and their new girlfriends (same story she cheated with them but when asked when the dates didn’t match up). Last I heard, she got pregnant after a threesome with her “girlfriend” and wound up marrying the guy.
So fast forward a few years, me and my ex split a few years ago when I found out he WAS cheating on me with dating websites. Shortly after I met my now fiance. My fiance also went though a pretty crazy past relationship with his recent ex. They were together maybe 3 years but would split up for a god 4 to 8 months every year. They were very on/off and she cheated on him, but he tried working it out with her but it just didn’t. In fact she claimed she was raped when she had sex with a friend at a party, and later he found out during their “off periods” (and sometimes on) she was actually hooking up with him. They had split about 6 months prior to meeting me and had tried being “friends with benefits” for a while shortly after, then nothing, then got back together for maybe a month before calling it off completely. He met me two months later and we clicked right away. When she found out we were dating she started blowing up his phone at all hours begging for him to get back together but he said no. She’d go back and forth between beggining, being angry he wouldn’t take her back and not speaking to him, to trying to be friends, ect. She’d constantly flip back and forth. He’d always tell her no. At one point she said if they couldn’t be friends she at least wanted to be civil so he said fine, she tried adding him on facebook and he accepted (which bothers me still but he is friends with his other exes, even ones he hates) but she kept liking things on his facebook so he blocked her after maybe 2 or 3 days because he didn’t want me to be uncomfortable and he felt she was using it as an excuse to get back in. She tried everything, EVERYTHING! She would hang around his friends saying she wanted to kill herself and then try hooking up with them and their girlfriends would tell her to kiss off. She’d try calling his mom, hanging around his brother, ect. and saying she moved on and had a boyfriend, when she actually didn’t. Then she had her friends following me on random social networking sites when we got engaged. Basically after a year of this on and off (and after getting engaged) my fiance threatened her with legal action (not the first time either) and I even confronted her for the first time (since I didn’t want to get involved and have her think he wasn’t speaking to her because of me. She lied somewhat about her involvement (because she didn’t know I was there when she’d send 50 texts in a row or that he would show me, or that he screamed at her to stop calling him in front of many of our friends when she wouldn’t stop, ect) but she did even relent and say they weren’t together when we met and my fiance wouldn’t have anything to do with her when he started dating me.
So after a long back story, recently MY ex was contacting me out of the blue (he has a new girlfriend too) but I was just polite and said what’s done is done and I’m glad we’re both better off today but I don’t want to speak with him. A few days later and I get a friend request from HIS ex that used to stalk me. I go on her page to block her and I see she recently added my ex (so I’m assuming he’s basically digging up ex girlfriends from the past). It actually made me quite livid because he always insisted her hated her and never spoke to her or wanted anything to do with her (similar to what my fiance says about his ex that bothered us). So if you can see me connection here, it bothers me and has me somewhat paranoid about all the “what ifs” with my fiance and his ex, considering I’m now pretty sure my ex cheated on me with his. Any advice?