Does anyone in your immediate family know you are TTC or are about to?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
4677 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I haven’t flat out told anyone in my family that we are TTC, but I have hinted at the fact that a baby maybe coming down the road soon.  I talked to a friend that is currently pregnant with her first with a little more detail.  I’m pretty sure they got pregnant thier first month trying, and she is far less knowledgable than I am about everything TTC.  So I was a little ashamed to tell her that we had been trying, but we weren’t pregnant yet.  

ETA: Honestly, I don’t think I would mind my Mom knowing.  We were never a very open family, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone who knows me to talk to about this.  

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  auggiefrog.
Post # 4
Member
4677 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

candy11:  When my friend first told me she was pregnant I asked her if she was charting or used a calander.  She said she put in a few dates into a fertility calander.  I love my friend, but I think she doesn’t know how hard getting pregnant can be.  

Post # 5
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am pregnant now. When we were TTC, I only told my mom that we were trying. I had told my best friend that we would be trying in the near future. Like you’re thinking, my mom was a good person to talk to about it. So, my mom expected it when we told them we were expecting. It was a surprise to my dad, siblings, and everyone else in the family.

Post # 6
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We recently set a timeline for TTC which has made me super excited and I want to tell everyone. I have told 3 of my closest friends and that was enough to calm myself. I want it to be a surprise too but I also know I won’t be able to hold it in from everyone. We won’t tell our parents until we get pregnant – since we don’t want to get them prematurely excited and who knows how long it will take. 

Post # 8
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I think this is very tricky. Every time I see my in-laws they more than hint about having kids, my Grandmother recently told me that I should have them immediately, and at a recent family wedding then everyone was dropping hints in a none too subtle fashion. It would be OK, but I don’t know what to say… it’s a bit TMI if I turn around and say that we’ve been TTC for over 8 months already and we think we might have a few medical issues. That’s a real downer in conversation. I know it’s rude of them to keep bringing it up, but at the same time then they don’t mean anything bad by it.

It’s tough, because every time the conversation comes up then I have no idea how to subtly and/or politely convey the idea that we would very much like children, but that we might actually be infertile. I don’t like people thinking that we are putting it off because of our careers etc etc, but I don’t want them to feel sorry for us etc either, especially in the absence of a comfirmed diagnosis…

Post # 9
Member
550 posts
Busy bee

candy11:  I’ve only told my sister we’re TTC, she has a lovely little girl and is also TTC so it’s nice to have the support. She’s not charting or anything, so we don’t talk a lot about that. Plus what I don’t know about charting could probably fill an ocean. That’s about it. I’m iffy on telling my mom, on one hand I think it would be lovely, mainly to stop hearing the ‘I wish I had more grandbabies’ comments. But if it turns out we can’t, I don’t want to disappoint her. 

Rachel631:  People are stupid and feel free to smack them a few times! Not sure if this helps, but my siblings and I kept bugging my Aunt and Uncle for cousins when we were little (you know how mean kids can be). They managed to shut us with one sentence ‘It is not from lack of trying.’ 

Post # 10
Member
3336 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are not telling anyone because we want to surprise them. We originally told everyone it wouldn’t be for several years, but had a change of heart and decided we are in fact ready now. 🙂 I want to see my moms face when we tell her she will have her first grandchild. We just started trying this month so we have no idea if it will be easy for us or not.

Post # 12
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

catwoman1701:  I actually did this too as a small child… I asked my great Aunt why they only had one child, and she said that they would very much have liked to have more. That shut me up!

candy11:  Yeah, it’s difficult. And of course, we are not officially having fertility issues yet. It’s only after a year that we can have testing done. It’s weird because several couples in my extended family have had children well into their 40s in the last few years. We are only in our late 20s/very early 30s, so I think people assume that because it was easy-ish for them, it will be super easy for us. Oddly, two couples in the extended family struggled for children throughout their 30s, and it was only when they found new partners in their 40s and gave up on having kids that they had a family. One lady had ten years of IVF before conceiving two children naturally in her late 40s with a new partner.

Post # 13
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m pregnant now (first trimester) but when we were TTC, I didn’t tell my mom we were trying. However,  I did tell her I was off my pill because she’s a nurse and I wanted to run some withdrawal symptoms by her. It opened up a conversation and I told her we were NTNP (even though we were definitely trying) because I know she’s eager to be a grandma and I didn’t want her holding her breath waiting for news. But it was nice to be able to have open dialogue with her about the future without totally getting her hopes up.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Kay1126.
Post # 14
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My FIL and MIL know that we’re going to start trying within the next year, but nothing specific. The only reason they know is because my husband had one too many glasses of wine at my birthday dinner last weekend and brought it up haha. 

Post # 15
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

candy11:  My mom, sister, best friend, and his dad know the general time table of when we start trying. There are two things that need to hapen first. We both want kids and people are surprised we aren’t pregnant yet. When asked, I am honest of the two things which need to happen before we TTC.

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