Post # 1
This is sparked by my second cousin’s totally lavish wedding, and therefore her related, equally lavish wedding-related activities. She spent almost six hundred dollars on “simple” centerpieces for the BRIDAL SHOWER.
I guess I’m just confused. Since when are themes and centerpieces and all of this really expensive stuff necessary for your shower? I mean they’re adorable, sure. They give me lots of awesome pictures to look at and be like “LOOK HOW COOL!,” which serves as a pretty good distractor from Spanish homework.
But I thought the shower something that celebrates the upcoming union and helps to give the couple the necessities to begin their lives together… not a huge blowout party that puts them in more debt.
I’m seriously wondering if this is something that the majority of people do, or if it’s just the exposure to the wedding industry that we get with the internet which seems to overemphasize it.
Every wedding shower I’ve ever been to has either been at someone’s house or a very modest event at a church hall or something. We’re talking plastic tablecloths on a roll, here, people.
If you, like me, think that’s kind of insane, I’ll feel a lot better about my sanity. But if you are one of those people who is going all-out, I would legitimately like to hear your take on it. I have a hard time understanding it, I guess. I’d like to be able to, so if you could offer your insights it would be appreciated!
Post # 3
So I answered with Kind Of. The only wedding shower we are having is hosted by some close friends in the area we live, both of our parents live out in Texas and we won’t be able to do the traditional bridal shower, but we are doing a shower with some of our close friends at the base we are stationed! The theme is “STOCK THE BAR/CELLAR” There will be a theme as far as decorations but it was all DIY, we made centerpieces out of old winebottles and used corks for other things, we live in wine country and my friend POURS at a Tasting room so we got him to Save Bottles and Corks! FREE! I got some flowers from Home Depot Garden area and planted in Terracotta pots! 🙂 Cheap! I hope that answers your question!
Post # 4
I think “affordable” is a relative term. What’s totaly affordable to one person is ridiculous to another. So I really didn’t know how to vote on your poll, (thus I chose other). I’m having a large shower because I have a lot of female family members and friends. So yes it will cost more than a small shower.
Also, this is regional because around here…..well, I’ve never even seen plastic tablecloth on a roll sold anywhere, (seriously).
Post # 5
Yep, we’re having a simple, plain shower. I told my Maid/Matron of Honor I’d kill her if she did stupid shower games and had dumb paper decorations. Buy a couple bunches of flowers, get some simple food and a costco cake. Play some music and let people talk. Open some gifts and talk about the Fiance and call it a day. That’s all I want.
Post # 6
Every bridal shower I’ve ever attended (including my own) has been held at somebody’s home with simple foods and decorations.
Post # 7
I told the girls planning mine to just have it at my parents’ house. I’m not sure what they’re doing other than that, but I’m hoping for a regular old shower 🙂
I’m planning my friends’, and I’m going to do some cutesy themed type things, but there will mostly be paper decorations and I think I’m going to ask the BMs to just bring a dessert or appetizer or something.
Post # 8
My bridal shower was very simple. It was at my MOH’s mom’s house and there were no tables set up – we just sat on couches/dining table/outdoor table. There were not really any decorations….just little favor bags and plates & napkins in my wedding colors. We ate finger sandwiches, fruit salad, pasta salad, had cake. There was wine and I opened my presents. That was it! Before weddingbee I did not realize that extravagant showers even existed! Now I see all these professional pictures of showers that essentially look like backyard weddings. Dont feel bad – I think you are probably in the norm!
Post # 9
I see BMs on here complaining all the time about shower costs. They are trying to help their friend by standing up for her on her big day but end up spending tons of money. It’s sad.
My sister’s bridal shower was at our local American Legion. I think mine *if someone throws me one* will probably be brunch at a local hotel.
Post # 10
Both of my bridal showers were not themed or fancy. My family was was giving in the mulit-purpose room at my grandma’s apartments, with round lunch tables set up like in school. There were a few decorations, but just simple ones. We came in did a few games, talked, opened my gifts and then ate!! The second one that my friends gave me was in a small room in a church with a few decorations, played a couple of games, opened gifts and ate!! I much prefer the small simple gatherings, as I’m not a person who likes to be the center of attention!!
Post # 11
Mine is going to be at my MOH’s house and it is going to be nothing fancy. Just food, couple of games and gift opening. I don’t get the themed dealio.
Post # 12
I’d say mine was pretty simple yet nice (although I have no clue what it cost because my cousin and aunt planned it). She rented out a room at an Italian restaurant, we had half a dozen menu items we could choose from, she got a small cake made, and we opened presents and enjoyed each other’s company.
My shower was slightly larger than some because I just had one and it was the day before the wedding so my family, DH’s family and my friends all attended the same shower. I thought my cousin and aunt did a wonderful job! But it certainly wasn’t lavish and all out!
Post # 13
I’m not planning mine. My mom and Maid/Matron of Honor is. And since I am the first child to get married I can see my mom going a little bit over the top. Hell, it even has a theme! Since I am obsessed with rubber duckies and I have the cutest wedding party dycky set my mother decided that would be my theme… Worried it is going to look like a baby shower but with my Maid/Matron of Honor to keep her in check I think we will be fine. lol
Post # 14
I think most people plan them according to how large the guest list is. Once you start talking about 50+ people, and unless it’s held in a nice time of year (weatherwise)so you can have it outdoors, nobody I know has a house large enough to comfortably fit so many at once.
In my case, I was just lazy and wanted to be waited on and served, so a restaurant fit the bill. No pre or post cleanup, and it was for a limited amount of time. Some house showers have people staying for HOURS, and I didn’t want that. It was easy to make arrangements, send invites, make inexpensive centerpieces and favors and let someone else do all the work.
Sometimes house showers involve renting tables and chairs and tents, so they aren’t all that cheap either. Add in the cost to feed all those people, and showers can quickly cost a lot of money.
Post # 15
My shower was expensive (i don’t know the exact amount but i know it was a lot), but not because it had a “theme,” just because it was a catered lunch at a country club. I wanted and would have been very happy with just desserts in my mom’s living room, but because the shower was the Sunday after Thanksgiving (it had to be because my Maid/Matron of Honor is not local and was coming home that weekend) my mom thought it would be way too stressful for her to try to have her house in order and cook for it, so she felt it was worth it to outsource the work.
Post # 16
Thank you ladies for responding!
And I can totally understand outsourcing the set-up and clean-up to someone else, it can definitely be a hassle. Most of the ones I’ve been to in houses only have about 20 people in attendance, but I went to FI’s cousin’s bridal shower and she had probably 100 people there (stuff to look forward to, lol!). They just had it in a church hall though.
I hadn’t really thought about the regional differences, but I’m sure that has a lot to do with it. Good point! My cousin lives in New England, where I think things are typically much more formal and high-class than in lovely little Northeast Ohio.