- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’ll try to summarize. My mother has a fear of flying (yet has flown to me twice at least), but she’s also very weird about weddings – as in “who on earth would intentionally ever get married is beyond me! I can’t think of anything worse!” Yes, she was married to my dad still.
There was so much anxiety in her coming to my wedding (which took place 8/2012). I offered an all expenses paid trip (less airfare) if she came to see us. She mentioned she wanted a vacation this year, but if the vacation included my wedding, suddenly she was scared, anxious, hanging up on me, telling me she can do it, go on without her, yadda yadda. Yet, she was telling my other sister that she didn’t get what the big deal was in the first place re: my wedding.
Well, my little sister just invited my mom to Florida in January. She and her ILs are going to rent a big beach house on the water and my mom was invited to go (all expenses paid again, less airfare).
At first she made up excuses, “They aren’t my family, I don’t know them” “I can’t leave my house that long in the winter!” “I don’t fly in January!” “I don’t cook on vacation, and she said they were on a remote island!”
I told her that was a great offer, and what else does she have to do? She’s 60 and retired and in decent health.
Then she ran into a little old lady in the thrift store two days ago. This little frail woman had travelled to India, China, Japan – sometimes she takes her granddaughters, sometimes she goes alone.
And that was it! She went and bought a ticket to Florida for January. She thought if this little old lady can go, what is her deal about flying to Florida?
Missing her eldest daughter’s wedding (TWICE MIND YOU) was not a big enough revelation or important enough, but some little old lady was enough inspiration to get her to buy a ticket?
I mean I’m glad she’s going on the trip (granted she’s not actually on the plane yet), but it’s bittersweet. She just mopes around at home saying she wants to go on vacation, but her own fears get in her way of living life, or she gets so picky about it. But Jeez, I can’t help think what a kick in the pants for me!
I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that she didn’t see me get married, twice. This is like salt on the wound. We’ll see if she’s changed any. I need more proof.