Does Anyone Wish Their SO Was More Romantic?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Does Anyone Wish Their SO Was More Romantic?
    Yes- my SO doesn't even try to romance me anymore! : (31 votes)
    21 %
    Yes- my SO used to get romantic/does occasionally get that way, but more would be better! : (67 votes)
    45 %
    No- my SO is already too romantic : (17 votes)
    11 %
    No- neither of us are romantic types, so it works out perfectly : (11 votes)
    7 %
    Maybe- depends on what type of romancing it is! : (24 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    2059 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Before FI, I dated a guy that was way too over the top romantic…as in, bubble bath drawn, cooking dinner, singing songs to me, etc, and I literally felt revolted. Maybe it was because we just weren’t meant for each other, or because it was too much all the time, but I really hated it. FI is very much a “man’s man” and he shows his love through different ways that are less mushy. Although, he gives me a backrub most nights, or sometimes, as I call them, “head-rubs”…I love when he rubs my scalp. LOL. I’d definitely appreciate candles and being surprised with a weekend away or a spontaneous night out somewhere different, but I guess that’s being demanding of me! I appreciate romance more when it’s spontaneous and out of the norm.

    Post # 4
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My husband is very very romantic, & puts me to shame in that department.

    However, I am the more affectionate one so I think we balance each other out.

    Now, I DO wish my husband would be more affectionate on a regular basis though (with cuddling, being attentive etc..).

    When it comes to thinks like gift giving, surprises, & small romantic gestures like flowers or candy, he is super awesome though.


    Post # 6
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My husband is usually pretty cuddly and affectionate (which I love) 

    But every once in awhile I wish he would surprise me with flowers or a night out. 

     @MrsSkeletonKey:  Sounds like we’re opposites! Maybe our husbands could give each other pointers 😉

    Post # 7
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @LedeLady:  Yes, yes they should!

    My husband works 60 hours a week though, & goes to school 30 hours a week (no idea how he does it) so I think his lack of affection is a result of just being exhausted. But still, it’s hard to know that when he gets home he would rather veg out with a video game than cuddle or have a long winded discussion. I mean, I don’t blame him in the least as I’d probably want the same thing if I were in his shoes, but it’s sad for me sometimes.

    I cannot wait until we graduate!

    (Btw, maybe your husband is like me & he can’t figure out what you would want if he were to try & surprise you. Perhaps you can leave hints, like a picture of flowers on the fridge, or mention this perfume that you would love to have etc..)

    Post # 8
    6969 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We’re not really the sappy romantic types, so I can do without the bubble baths, candles, rose petals, etc. Although if he wanted to surprise me with a weekend getaway I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to that. 😛


    Post # 9
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    DH and I are not romantic types, but I wouldn’t mind if every now and then he’d surprise me with a date or weekend away.


    Romance, imo, is taking care of things for me. Plan dates and weekend trips without asking me, do extra things around the house because you know it makes my life easier. The most romantic thing DH has done for me lately is having a cold glass of water and a cool towel ready for me when I come back from a walk/run. It’s so thoughtful of him, and shows me he supports my efforts to lose weight and be healthy.


    I’m not a flowers girl. When I see pretty flowers I swoon for just a second, but then my mind is filled with items that I’d rather have for the amount of money spent on something that will die within a week.


    Post # 10
    6953 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    My SO is very very good at the little day to day things. When he does the grocery shopping, he sometimes picks up a bunch of flowers for me there. Or when I have a bad day he’ll bring home an iced coffee. He sends me sweet texts all the time.

    What I wish he was better at (and I KNOW it’s me being spoiled!!) is the big things. Even though he KNEW I was doing something BIG for the week before Valentines Day and I told him he was therefore responsible for V-day itself, he didn’t plan anything at all. We had left overs at home and he bought me some candy from the liquor store! What? So weird, right? This is after he saw what I did (hired a personal chef to cook us a 4 course meal in our apartment). I even set a nice table and created a 4 hour long playlist of songs that remind me of us! 

    Our 1 yr anniversary is coming up and I said he better plan something. Of course, now our friend who owns a chocolate shop just announced he’s doing a dessert tasting that day… so I’m pretty sure that’s SO’s get out of jail free card. He’ll just take me to that and say he “planned” something. 😛

    Post # 11
    5160 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @WhatMaeBee:  +1  

    I used to have a boyfriend who’d make me paintings and write me poems.  I always found it cringy and embarassing (although I never would hurt his feelings by telling him that).  The traditional romantic stuff is just not for me. 

    As long as I’m giving plenty of attention, affection, and a good dose of passion (wink wink) I’m happy without the flowers and big romantic gestures.

    Post # 12
    15016 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    DH is overly romantic but he’s getting better about it.  I don’t mind the nice dinners and things like that, but flowers are bleh to me, jewelry gifts are bleh to me, and remembering all those dates that I have no clue about bewilders me.  I’m more the practical one in the relationship and sometimes it just confuses the heck out of him that I don’t enjoy the typical “romantic” things like ladies in his past.  It’s just not me.

    Post # 13
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My FI’s idea of being romantic is doing the chores like grocery shopping, vaccuuming, washing dishes, doing the laundry, etc. and don’t get me wrong, I love it! But sometimes, it would be nice to get some flowers when I come home 🙂

    Post # 14
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I can do with more romance!! I’m not a fan of flowers, bubble baths etc but I like when the mood is right and he reaches for my hand or holds me in his arms… it melts my heart. Well… it is romantic if it doesn’t lead to sex. He only does it every once in a long while. I guess if it was regular it would loose its touch.

    Oh, a few days ago he helped with laundry. It was nice but not romantic.

    Post # 15
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Mrs_Amanda:  you need an option for “Yes, SO has never been very romantic…it would be nice for him to start!”

    FI has never been much for romance. He does sweet things every now and then, but I wouldn’t consider them romantic (i.e. picking something up at the gorcery store that he thought I would like). I’m very happy with our relationship, but the random romantic gesture would be nice! (he’s bought me flowers 3 times in the 7+ years we’ve been together)

    Post # 16
    1372 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We never been the gift exchanging, date going type. We’re both pretty frugal ad sensible so that kind of money spent on things like flowers and jewlery is hard for both of us to accept. He does shower me with (free) love every day and I appreciate that! Do I kinda sort of wish he would once in a while be spontaneous and do something out of the ordinary and “romantic”? Sure I do. But I wouldn’t trade it for his unwavering love, for an occasionally reply post it by the coffee maker, or for adorable things like coming home on Valentines day and saying “I looked for a flower all day to pick for you but I ddn’t see one” (duh.. we do live in Canada and it was kinda February!) Its not perfect, and its not big screen worthy but he’s wonderful and sweet in his own way and I can fox with that!

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