Post # 1
….. because it doesn’t to me. And I don’t mean that in a negative way.
My husband and I dated for about 3 years before getting engaged, and we bought a house and moved in together (for the first time) about 4 months before the wedding.
Honestly, I had more trouble adjusting to sleeping in a new bedroom than to living with him! lol
I mean, we have little spats or disagreements, and we’ve defnitely discovered new “habits” that one another has, but it hasn’t been extraordinarily difficult. And once we did get married, I felt like nothing changed. (and again, it’s not a bad thing).
We’re still us and our relationship is the same if not better.
I remember so many girls saying that as soon as you’re married, everything “feels” different.
A girl I used to work with insisted that as soon as she and her husband got married their relationship felt totally different (even though they had been dating for, like, 8 years and lived together most of that time). But she couldn’t describe what was different.
I don’t know, maybe I just don’t get it.
What has your experience been?
Post # 3
@Stace126: We lived together for a year and a half so nothing has really changed for me except a stronger bond and stronger feeling of security.. other than that not really. Its actually the one con of living together in my opinion, after you get married there is not really a “new beginnng” feeling, its kind of same old same old, lol. But I couldnt be happier!
Post # 4
@Stace126: no – it didn’t feel different, but has felt different as time has progressed. Kinda like we poured the cement over our relationship (when we got married) and now that time has passed, it’s dry and rock solid 🙂
Post # 5
@Stace126: Not really, no. When we got married we had already been living together for about six years, together for seven. In other words there wasn’t anything new at that point.
The only difference really was that our priorities and plans changed. We went from the after college and being in debt status to making more money enjoying the benefits of a heftier income to finally arriving at looking to buy a house and having children. Otherwise the day to day things didn’t change at all.
Post # 6
My husband and I were married shortly before our eight year anniversary. We had been living together since we were a year and a half in. The day to day isn’t different, but I’d say it feels more warm and fuzzy. That’s the only way I can describe it. 🙂
Post # 7
Married life does feel utterly different to me. We moved in together after we got married, but aside from that, we just have a deeper connection that is different than from when we were dating.
Post # 8
We dated for 4 years before being proposed, and didn’t move in together (or have sex) until after we were married. And honestly that’s the only thing that felt different for me. I mostly felt like I was in a dream for the longest time. I definitely LOVE being married, and I love living together (and…you know).
Post # 9
@Stace126: I just had this conversation with someone yesterday! He was insisting that since we got married that our lives must have changed. That we must have different priorities, goals, something, anything MUST have changed.
NOTHING has changed.
We’ve lived together since 4 months of knowing each other, bought a house together, and have two dogs. If our priorities didnt align we probably wouldnt have gotten married. I was flabbergasted with this persons insistance that something had to have changed!
Post # 10
Nope!!! Part way throuhg planning I got worried because I was hearing all the girls talking about how excited they were to be married and they couldn’t wait to have a husband and be committed forever. And while I was excited for the weddings and honeymoon, I really didn’t think about the marriage oart that much. And then I realized why I didn’t think about it that much…because in my brain we were already marreid and committedd forever. So yeah, no big relationship changes. Except me trying to fuel baby fever and thinking about when we want to start TTC. He would have been happy to start TTC before the wedding but I refused to be pregnant at the wedding or honeymoon!
Post # 11
@Stace126: Since so many people these days live and sleep together before marriage, the marriage itself doesn’t seem to feel different for them. That’s just my take.
Even though I was in the same boat, I did feel different after getting married. I felt a deeper sense of love for my husband that he chose me to spend the rest of his life with. I felt that I finally belonged to someone as well.
I guess what I’m saying is it just deepened my awareness of love and dedication and deepened my sense of worth as a woman.
Post # 12
@Treejewel19: can’t wait until I can say the same. this whole debt filled fresh outta college phase is getting old quick lol.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’d quantify it at about 5% different, 95% the same. We were together for over a decade before we got married, own a home together, are very much integrated into each other’s families and lives in every way – so obviously things couldn’t change THAT much.
On the other hand, even though we have long considered this a partnership for life – there’s something just a little bit more comfortably permanent about being married. I like it!
Post # 14
@highschoolhoneys: You’ll get there, I promise. Make a plan and a strict budget and just focus on finding a career. It will get easier!
Post # 15
The only thing that feels different is my last name. Apart from that, nothing has changed. We’d been living together for about four years when we got married so it’s really all the same.
Post # 16
Not at all. Just a lot more baby questions from our families.
Like a lot of the bees that have replied, we dated for a long time before getting married: 10+ years and lived together for 2.5.
It’s funny after you get married everyone asks “how’s married life?” and all I can respond is “just like unmarried life” : )