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Holiday Mess!

Does being 'newlywed' impact how you're spending the holidays?

posted 2 years ago in Newlyweds
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    So, now that Halloween is over, my husband and I started to really crack down on how we're doing the holidays this year. It's our first Thanksgiving/Christmas as a married couple, and we felt like it should be extra special. But here's the thing: our families live in another state, four hours apart from each each, and an eight or twelve hour drive from our place. It's hard!

    Since we moved away three years ago, we decided that we'll always spend Thanksgiving together. We both enjoy cooking, and we just invite over any friends that can't get home, either. Although, it's usually just been the two of us. It's nice because we get that one holiday where we both just spend it together without the stress of traveling.

    Christmas is a whole other story. We've concluded it will not be special because we're married, and we also concluded that because of our limited time off this year, we won't be going home to see my family, just his. It was hard of me, making that decision because I've NEVER missed a Christmas with my mom and sister, and we're all very close. But I knew it was the right thing to do to save money and stay sane!

    So, to ensure that it remains as relaxed as possible, we're pulling the 'newlywed' card and asking my husband's parents to not plan too much while we're there so that we can soak up as much holiday cheer as possible. I'm also asking my MIL, who I love dearly, if I can bake some of the traditional dishes my family usually makes to make me feel a little better about being away from my family.

    For you newlyweds out there, are you using the 'newlywed' card to have a more relaxed holiday season, or will you be just as busy as usual?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    Ahh, sorry, I meant to post this is the newlywed section! Oh dear ...

     
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    Bumble bee
    bvig    September 2009   wedding in NJ

    Our parents divided up our time for Thanksgiving and Christmas the day after the wedding and we're just standing there like ummm.....

    I mean we had every plan to spend it with them but they I guess thought we were going to abandon ship now that we were married.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    We'll keep it the same since my family lives so far away.  We'll spend some alone and the rest between his two sides of the family.

     
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    Noelle-a-Belle    October 16 2009   Southern CA

    We decided we needed to spend the holidays together since it will be our first as a married couple.  So we are planning to do Thanksgiving w/his fam since his mom is in town for it this year (she lives out of state) and Xmas with my fam.  In the future we will probably be spending more of them with my family than his since his family is out of state, or perhaps even separate for them until we have children, but for this year....we felt the same as you; that it was important to spend them together. 

     
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    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    This is my absolute favorite part of being in an interfaith marriage!  The only holiday we share is Thanksgiving and we will continue what we did while we were dating.  We alternate!  I think it's only fair given that both of our parents live within easy driving distance.

    On a side note, it pisses me off to no end that my brothers spend most holidays with their wives families.  Yes, driving 15 minutes is easier than driving for an hour and 15 minutes but really, it's lame!

     
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    Busy bee
    starcharades    December 31, 2011   Philadelphia

    Oh it is especially difficult for me. I just started getting used to splitting up holidays between my mom and dad (divorced) and now I have to factor a third party into the mix. The holidays are super stressful on my end.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    @daisybride: that really is lame of your brothers! An hour isn't bad at all. I understand that sometimes, you just need to not travel at the holidays (we almost did that this year for Christmas), but at least switch off!

     
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    Newbee
    HarvardHousewife      

    I am in the same situation. We decided to save money and offending either side of the family, to just stay home and celebrate Christmas as a couple together. We've also talked about doing a road trip. I too have never missed a Christmas with my mom and sister.

     
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    Helper bee
    ProudPeacockBride    August 13, 2011   Washington

    I know being engaged has put a damper on our holiday plans!

    Trying to save money for our wedding next year has meant skipping a trip to visit the folks and scrimping on presents!

     
    11.
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    Buzzing bee
    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    Thankfully we are a very very close distance to my family and his family! During the holidays both of our parents go all out and we soak up all the cheer... and food =) This year will be like the last ones and we'll see both ... his is earlier and mine is later.

     

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