(Closed) does he have a friend..?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

I love DH’s best friend but he drives me absolutely bonkers. Thankfully he does the same to DH so it isn’t much of a problem.

The only other friend of his I can’t stand is his ex-girlfriend with whom my first interaction was her asking him if he still had photographs of her nipples on Facebook and me going on as him (with his permission) to tell her to go shove it.

Post # 4
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I consider you ladies lucky it’s just one friend Laughing

Post # 5
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

He just has one friend who he gets out of control with sometimes.  They are college buddies so when they get together it is very likely that they drink too much… FI is suuuper good about it, but his friend (and his wife) has gotten way too drunk and thrown up in our house before.  Also he gets really stubborn and kind of rude when he’s drunk.

It’s really not all that bad, and I am just negative towards him at the moment because the vomit incident was so recent LoL.

Post # 7
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mrshersch74:  Sadly, it’s quite a few of his friends. Its hard, because he and I got together after he was out of a string of rebound relationships – and his friends were upset he was jumping into something again. Additionally, his friends that i’m not on board with are a bit younger and incredibly immature. Plus, they’ve all been friends since they were teenagers, so it’s very hard. I just try to be the best I can be, not rock the boat too much, and always act like the better person. There are still incidents, but they are more minor than they used to, and I think FI is realizing he’s a different person he was 15 years ago. 

Post # 8
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My SO has a friend who drives me crazy. He is super flirty with me and otherwise just makes me super uncomfortable. At this guy’s wedding, my SO was an usher and we had only been dating about 3 months. His friend decides it is a good idea to sit me at the same table as my SO’s ex-girlfriend and sit another one of my SO’s ex-girlfriends at the table behind me. I guess I should also mention that this “friend” has a threesome with one of my SO’s exes and his new wife. (Reason number 1 why I’m uncomfortable with this kid). He treats SO really terribly. I think that SO has finally realized that this guy isn’t worth his friendship any longer. Hopefully I won’t be forced to hang out with him anytime soon!

Post # 9
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

He has a couple I take issue with, but he is in the army, so it’s kind of expected. One of them spent a lot of time making sarky comments about us, and being inappropriate with me, so I told FI he was making me uncomfortable, that he could handle it,or I would ‘open my mouth’. He decided it was better he said something than I launched into a diatribe.

The biggest issue was a femae friend he has.  I have never met her,  and he had a bit of a flirtation (I found this out sometime after we were together and way after she came over) with years ago.

She lives ‘back home’ and when she came to visit the uk, she was quite condescending  on the phone to me and was reluctant to go out with me but was happy to meet up with him.

I found her behaviour shady and actually couldn’t understand it. I expressed my displeasure but just wrote it off to her being uncouth. When everything transpired I very quickly set boundaries for him.

I think as we have grown as a couple. We are learning a lot about who we can have in our life and who needs to take a step back.

Post # 10
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

yup this would be his best man :/

Post # 11
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

He doesn’t have any friends that I don’t like or that I think are generally bad people, BUT, there is one friend that, when they get together, eggs him on and encourages stupid behavior, particularly when they’ve been drinking. It doesn’t happen often but I always cringe a little when I know they’ll be getting together at a college reunion or meeting up at a bar or something. When I say “stupid behavior” I don’t mean cheating or doing anything illegal, I just mean acting immature — being obnoxiously loud and making inappropriate comments/jokes in public settings, pulling dumb pranks, etc.

Over the summer a group of his college friends and their SOs got together at someone’s lake house and there was day drinking going on. We went out to dinner at the only restaurant in this tiny town so naturally there were families there. FI and his friend(s) were drunk enough that they kept loudly swearing and making sexual jokes when there were little kids at the table behind us. I got so mad/embarrassed that I pinched FI’s leg under the table. He profusely apologized (to me) later but I was mortified.

Like I said, thankfully they don’t get together THAT often, or when they do, it’s not often that it’s a drinking event!

 

Post # 12
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Fortunately all of FI’s friends are married and pretty stable themselves, so they don’t do anything that would irritate me.

Post # 13
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

I love my FI’s best friend, he has the cutest family, and I just adore them… usually.  When the boys get together, though, and if there is drinking involved, ugh…  I really want him to spend time with his best friend, but he like, forgets I exist when they are together!  I am not that needy, but if you say you will be gone for a couple of hours at 6, and then don’t get home or even text me until midnight…  it drives me CRAZY!  I don’t know how his best friend’s wife puts up with it, especially since they have 2 little kids!  I’m also glad I like her, because when we all get together, the boys go off to talk about beer and soccer and cars, and leave us to chat, which is nice sometimes.  But when we’re at their house, we stay SO much later than I feel is polite or okay, and I’m usually bugging him to go because I need my sleep.  I really don’t know what I can do, because we have discussed it, and my FI is much better about keeping me included, and I’m better at letting him run off with his boyfriend (as we joke…), but it still irritates me sometimes…

Post # 14
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

I DETEST one of SO work colleagues. He is a complete A Whole.

Reasen being I had a Plenty of Fish dating account that my University friends started as a joke about 5 years before I had even met my SO. Anyway long story short his work colleague stumbeld across this account and ushered my SO out of the house at 3AM….YES 3AM. Bundeled him in the car telling him there was a massive emergancy at his house. My SO goes along believing him.

SO arrives at this douches house who then tells my SO how he has stumbeled across this site with my profile on so I must be having sex with strangers behind SO back. Oh please this profile was so old and blatantly a fake. In the profile section is said things as bizarre as ” I love cooking naked whilst beind filmed. Never know where those ingrediants may go 😉 ” Seriously who has that on a serious dating profile.

Anyway SO comes home and confronts me about it. I laugh and after 2 hours of trying to log in, I prove to my SO how I havn’t even opened any mail in the inbox let alone replied.

But of course his D*ck-Whole mate thinks I;m a cheating whore. But my question is what was he doing searching dating pages online on a Saturday night. I mean this page didn’t have my name or anything on, just a 5 year old picture. I think that says more about him.

He also phone’s SO EVERY WEEKEND night asking him to go drinking. Does he not understand that we’re at a different time in out relationship? We are quite settled and love nothing more than romantic dinners, movies, bubble baths. Call us old but who cares if that’s what makes us happy? He just doesn’t understand that SO isn’t interested in playing Chav.

Also when he is with SO all he does is talk bollox about women he’s suposed slept with. Which is blatant lies as he can’t keep his story strieght. He’s moving away soon and good f*****g ridince to the trouble causing scum! I pray that no woman has the curse of ever dating him!!

Rant over…

Post # 15
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My SO has a few people I’m not huge fans of. His oldest best friend is a woman (but my feelings toward her have zero to do with her being a woman), and often likes to ignore me when we’re together. We speak different first languages; she speaks almost none of mine and I speak hers pretty well, but she always acts as if we can’t communicate and just doesn’t address me and doesn’t include me in the conversation (although her wife does, and in their first language, so it should be totally clear I can follow along). It drives me mad, so I typically let them hang out solo to avoid it.

He’s got another friend who I actually haven’t met but who I’ve formed a bit of a dislike for. This guy is really a big believer in ‘old boys’ club’ kind of things; he likes to drink scotch and play pretentious games and smoke cigars, and he says things about women that piss me off. I suspect he’s not *actually* a misogynist though and other women have told me he grows on you, so one can hope.

Otherwise none of them bother me, as they’re friendly, respectful of our family time and our relationship, and most of them actually try to talk to me and get to know me as my own person, not just SO’s fiancee.

Post # 16
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

He was one of the last guys to get married in his group, and most of his friends have kids, so they’re all pretty mellow. Sometimes I’m not sure if his friends’ wives like me or not, so I feel slightly more weird around them, but not to the point of detesting anyone. I guess I’m lucky.

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