(Closed) Does "invitation" mean different things in different countries?

posted 5 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No. what if they end up coming? Say to your MIL that you feel really uncomfortable sending more invitations than what your venue holds/you guys can afford, and that you’ll just send announcements. 

Post # 5
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@talljabride:  Be firm. Either send them without telling her or tell her “I’m sorry but I do not feel comfortable and will not do it. Pick X amount of people by tomorrow and I’ll send announcements to the rest”

she’s not paying for it, so she doens’t get a say in this.

if I were you; i’d simply send them without talking about with her

Post # 6
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Don’t invite them if you can’t afford them and she’s not willing to pay for them!

However, she had said she will pay for whoever she invites that comes, right? Then if you’re okay with it, invite away!

And announcements aren’t really a thing here. They were way back when, but they’re fairly antiquated now!

Post # 8
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@talljabride:  Oooooh. That’s definitely WAY different!

Don’t invite anyone you don’t want to! They’re not paying, so they shouldn’t be demanding!

Post # 9
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had a very similar situation. My FMIL wanted me to invited tons of people. Our venue only held 90 and she came up with a list of at least 100 on her own. Most of whom my FI did not even know. It is definitely a cultural thing. I got into one big argument with her and decided that my FI should be the one standing up to her. It is a lot easier to have him explain why we can’t invite those people so that she can see that he took his culture into account and still isn’t able to. Unlike if I told her and she thinks that I am just being “racist” or insensative… things she has said in the past.

Post # 10
Member
542 posts
Busy bee

Like someone said on another thread, “no pay, no say!” Tell MIL that you can afford X number of guests on their side, and let her know that you are giving her the opportunity to choose those guests and have the list back to you in a set amount of time, if she has not made the selections in the time frame you give, then you make the choices.

Also, get the money from your parents up front before any invitations go out. Yep, sometimes even well-meaning parents over promise things that they can’t or won’t live up to.

 

Post # 12
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@talljabride:  i went througn this same thing with my inlaws! They wanted to send alll these invites to people overseas who they know wouldnt come….so whats the purpose then? I didnt want to waste my invites sending to a bunch of random people my fiance doesmt even know! Kt annoyed me sooooo much!

Post # 14
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@talljabride:  we sent out a few of them but not all. I told her I didnt have enough iinvites to send to people who wouldnt even be coming lol

 

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