Post # 1
I’d like your opinion on this. Some friends have asked me where I’ve registered and I told them I didn’t have a registry. Then their reply was “so you want cash?” I didn’t know what to say. I said well your presence is present enough, keep in mind I’ve only sent out STDs not invites yet so I’m not sure of everyone that is going to be able to attend since I don’t have their RSVPs.
Does not registering automatically mean give cash as a gift?
I don’t really care for presents either way. Some friends have already given me a couple of items (fondue pot, cake stand etc) for the home when we announced our engagement even though I didn’t register or ask for them. They just knew that I liked to bake and use the microwave for melting chocolate (lol…) and that was very sweet.
By not registering I like that people don’t feel pressured to bring a gift/card (unless that’s not true someone correct me) and also if they wanted to get me anything, I like that they try to think about what I would like vs. me telling them exactly what to buy.
Post # 3
If a couple didn’t register or I didn’t know where they were registered, I’d give cash.
We registered, but didn’t have a wedding website or the info in the invitation or anything, so most people gave cash. I don’t think they knew about it, unless they asked us or our parents.
Post # 4
Pretty much, yes. There are always a few exceptions for people who don’t normally like giving cash or gift cards but most people will.
Are you having a bridal shower?
Post # 5
@mrsztobee: I’m not having bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or bach/bachette parties. I’m hosting a brunch the following morning though.
Post # 7
I would give cash, yep. But I do that anyways now.
Post # 8
Generally it’s assumed you would prefer cash. If people ask about giving money you could always say “oh we’re really trying to save up for XXXX house upgrade” or whatever.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Yeah I think generally it means cash is desired. If you get asked again though, I think it would be perfectly acceptable to let your friends/relatives know that you will love whatever they give you, even if it is just their presence.
Post # 10
Yes, not registering is pretty clear and is really the only not rude way to specify that you prefer cash gifts. I understand you may not want to pressure your family friends and are not a big fan of gifting, registries seemed weird to me too, but most people will not want to come empty handed to your wedding. A registry helps them figure out something that you two would love! As a guest, I would rather buy you something you will keep and use then some random thing you end up returning.
Maybe make a small gift registry so you can at least help guide them? You could have it comprised of more inexpensive items, like under $50, if you are concerned.
Post # 11
So do I think about providing a card box?
Post # 12
I’ve had two friends in the past year get married and not register. People just gave random gifts anyway. The first girl is a close friend and refused a bridal shower so a few friends and I took her out to brunch and had our own little informal shower. We got her wine and stuff which is nice because she likes wine. My other friend didn’t register but did not refuse a shower so one was thrown. Everyone bought her wine related gifts. Glasses, racks, bottles of it. I mean she likes wine but not THAT much! I gave her money because they just bought a house and were paying for the wedding themselves so I knew that was the best option.
So basically, not registering doesn’t mean people will automatically give you money. People have this thing about wanting to give actual gifts and if they don’t know what you want, they’ll just guess!!
FI have been living together for 2 years and I’ve been living on my own for over 10 years so I don’t necessarily NEED anything, but I know people will be asking and want to throw a shower so I plan to register for some upgrades. Everything we own is hand-me-downs!
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
We registered for a few items but that’s because I know many of my friends/family buf off-registry and not having a registry won’t guarantee cash. Plus, the few people I told we hadn’t planned on registered pressured me to tell them what gifts we wanted because they don’t like to give cash. We would love cash since we’re saving for our honeymoon but we will be thankful for what we get and get over it.
Post # 14
@elliptical2013: We did a basket to hold cards, but you could do a card box. We didn’t register because we didn’t want or need anything. People assumed then we wanted/needed cash and either brought us that or giftcards (I actually really loved the gift cards). There were still people that brought gifts or nothing and honestly that was ok too.
Post # 15
I think it’s fair to assume that if a couple doesn’t register that they would prefer cash. The same thing happened to me actually. We’re having a DW and decided not to register because our guests are already spending money on flights and hotels. One of my aunts asked my mom where we were registered and she explained our situation. My aunt said “well I’ll just send them a check!” (no complaints here!)
But then my MOH told me she would be throwing me a bridal shower, so I ended up registering at Target for some cute stuff for the house, but everything is under $50.
Generally speaking, most people are going to want to give you a gift either way! Some prefer to give physical gifts and some prefer to give cash, it really just depends on what the norm is in your family/social circle…
Will you having a bridal shower?
Post # 16
@MissMaya: I will not be having a bridal shower. thanks for the input!