Post # 1
I am a little confused about what happens to the officiant after a ceremony.
Although I have no definite plans, I think my FI and I will be having a small intimate wedding wtih just our immediate family (13 people total).
I could have sworn I read somewhere, that usually you invite your officiant to your wedding reception, and feed them and stuff ?? (I could be wrong).
I am a shy person, and wouldn’t feel comfortable having a kind of stranger sitting at our tables, consisting of just our families. Wouldn’t that be weird?
Or am I just completely wrong..do officiants just to the ceremony, and go off on their merry way?
Post # 3
We had a justice of the peace type of officiant. We didn’t know her at all except for the few conversations we had through email. I did invite her, but she declined and only had a glass of wine while we signed the license and stuff.
Post # 4
I’m having the same size wedding – 13 guests 🙂 So far I love our officiant but, no, she’s not coming to the reception. Her information is pretty straightforward that she arrives 10-15 minutes early and leaves within 10-15 minutes after the ceremony. I know when I was searching some requested two chairs and meals at the reception. If you do not have a prevoius relationship with the officiant, I don’t think you should invite them to the reception and I don’t think they expect to be invited.
Post # 5
lily dsm…I’d love to hear more about your wedding plans.
I haven’t booked anything, just looking for ideas. Its sooooooo dificult. I thoguht it would be easier, but don’t know how to make a wedding with just 13 people total unique and beautiful.
what are you doing?
Post # 6
I’m actually very excited to have such a small wedding – I say I get to splurge on everything but the guest list! We’re having a destination wedding (from IA to CO) and that gets us off the hook about feeling like we need to invite more people. We haven’t seen the location, but the set up will be simple – two rows of chairs in a semi-circle. I won’t be walking down an aisle but I’ll give myself a nice long walk to the altar. We found our officiant online and then pretty much wrote a custom ceremony. It’s written so it’s directed toward us and our families only with a very intimate feel. After the ceremony, we’re having a champagne reception with finger foods for everyone to snack on while we do family pictures and couple pictures.
We have a private room reserved at a very nice restaurant for dinner. We’re going all out with the food but the bill still won’t even compare to a larger wedding. This is the only time I’ve felt self-conscious about my small wedding because the entire main floor of the restaurant is reserved for another wedding. I definitely feel like the “other” bride in that situation. Eeek – let’s hope we don’t run into each other!
When you’re having 13 guests it’s pretty easy to create exactly what you want because it’s on such a small scale. I wanted to make some really cute invitations so I did (all 6 of ’em). Even though I knew everyone was coming I wanted to set the tone for the day and make it feel more like an event. Use all of the inspiration you find and run with it!
Good luck with your planning and I’ll always be here if you need some input!
Post # 7
thanks lily dsm, your wedding sounds great! don’t worry about the other bride, you’ll be just as lovely!
Post # 8
I think that you would politely extend the invitation for the officiant to stay, but typically if they don’t know you…I would think that most would decline the invitation.
Post # 9
We are inviting our Pastor to the reception. Usually, they say a prayer with everyone, eat and leave.
Post # 10
I think that the rule of inviting the officiant comes from way back, when the officiant would almost always have been your family’s pastor/priest/whatever… I would say that if you have no prior relationship with your officiant and don’t plan to continue the relationship past the wedding, you can use your judgment.
Post # 11
I think it’s always a nice gesture to invite the officiant, but I agree with worcesterbride in that I don’t think these days, it’s at all necessary, or even expected. We LOVE our officiant. She has truly been wonderful to work with and makes us feel like we’re her only bride and groom. But we didn’t invite her to our 75-person wedding. We honestly just needed to save the money, and we were only inviting close friends and family to the wedding, so we felt it would be awkward to have her there on the off chance she did accept the invitation.
Post # 12
If the officiant isn’t a close friend, then no you do not have to invite him to the reception. But if he was a person you grew up with, then I probably would.
Our officiant was someone we found online. He was great but we didn’t invite him to our reception.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
We invited our priest, but he elected not to attend the reception. I think it’s polite to send an invitation, but realize your officiant might not feel comfortable attending the party portion of the day.