Post # 1
If so how have you been affected by it, what are your experiences?
I am so proud of the Hive’s commentary in the Social Conservative Gay Unions vs Marriage thread that I thought it was time to perhaps brooch another subject that was brought up there.
Personally I have experienced racism in Louisiana, Tennessee, and Mississippi. In Louisiana I have heard my ex-coworkers call people nappy headed, in Tennessee while attending Vanderbilt, I have seen racial caricatures, and in Mississippi I have been called the N-word. Strangely enough all of this happened in my adulthood. As a child I believed racism was a thing of the past, it wasn’t relevant in my generation. As an adult, I am not too sure. I was proud to have an African American elected president, until I went to work and heard that a “Kenyan” was elected president. I was then embarrassed by my coworkers and afraid of the retaliation against the President.
The point of this thread is to bridge the gap of ignorance versus understanding another culture, not to point fingers. There is often not enough thought given to an experience or it just becomes an aside in a newspaper, a footnote in a book.
And while this seems un-wedding related, it completely is. How many African American couples have you seen in your photographer’s blog, wedding planner’s website, or florist’s lookbook?
Post # 3
I’m sad to say that I truly believe racism still exists in my city. Our police force is known for not always being above board (hell, our whole CITY is known for that) and I’ve seen it first hand – R and I get no trouble, but some of our African American friends will be stopped for being “suspicious” when they’re just walking down the street. Seriously? In this day and age? I remember Obama actually got ridiculed for commenting on this (his comment was specific to having trouble catching a cab) and people just dug into him… but I can tell you firsthand that it still happens.
There’s also a huge amount of racism against Mexicans in the town my parents live. It has a really high Mexican population (R’s school was majority Mexican) and a fair number of illegal aliens. So the stereotypes and racism abound. It’s really sad to see, because I truly believe that the stereotypes come more from the result of living in poverty than anything about race. Isn’t it oh so easy to point fingers about how people on welfare handle themselves and live their lives when you’ve always had everything provided to you?
Post # 4
i would definately say that there are still forms of racism out there.
i once met a lady who called a town up here (whitby) white-by because she claimed that there should only be white people let it.
thankfully as a larger nation of people i would say it’s not as dominant, but it’s definately still around.
Post # 5
I think you just answered your own question, cre. We aren’t post-racial, whatever that means, anyway.
What I’d like to know is how to have more productive conversations about race.
ETA: @lily – that is a good example of how it does still exist. Depending on who you speak to though, I believe the preferred term is undocumented immigrant.
Post # 6
How many African American couples have you seen in your photographer’s blog, wedding planner’s website, or florist’s lookbook?
– You won’t see any in mine, but because NO ONE hires me of that race! I blog all my couples regardless of size, race, whatever…
I’ve met with maybe 2 black couples and both times I wasn’t hired – and a black one was. At bridal shows, I’ve had HUNDREDS of african american brides come through and gush at my work, not a single one has EVER contacted me. So… I don’t know, but it makes me really sad that people may think I’m racist because I haven’t been hired by a certain ethnicity.
I take that back, if you go back in my blog to 2007 I had a bi-racial couple for a portrait session… but I doubt anyone goes back that far…
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Great post, Crebre80…
I think racism is definitely still present in the US, but like you mentioned, when I was little I didn’t think it did. It’s so sad that it persists, especially in specific regions (sorry to hate on the South but seriously?!?!)
I’m sorry you’ve had some pretty negative, insensitive comments…For what it’s worth, I’ve heard my share of anti-Jew comments (and I’m Jewish) and while I don’t think it’s totally comparable, I can somewhat relate…
Post # 8
@jduck: it becomes difficult because it’s such a touchy situation… some people (myself included) would have said heck no racism doesn’t exist (about 10 years ago I didn’t believe it did). I thought it was just an excuse that some black people made up to not do certain things like go to college, get a great job etc. I know better now and it saddens me.
Post # 9
@cre – I know, I was there too, probably six years ago as a freshman/sophomore in college. I guess I was lucky in that I didn’t experience it personally as a younger person, and didn’t learn about systemic racism, until I was older.
@KLP – in psychology, there is some research out there that says that some clients prefer to see counselors of their own racial/ethnic background. I wonder if that applies elsewhere, beyond the field of counseling/psychology, too.
Post # 10
@KLP: it’s a very hard thing as an African American (speaking from personal experience)… you want to go with the best photographer but you don’t want to be seen as not giving your own race a chance because if the shoe was on the other foot you feel that a Caucasian couple wouldn’t hire them. Now I can say professionally this isn’t the case for me because I have a pretty mixed clientele (and I must say that I am surprised by it)… and I can say that I love your pix KLP and man oh man if I was in your area you’d be first choice for those sultry e-pix that you take 😀
@trailmix: i definitely think the anti-semitic phrases are racism. hatred of one person, creed, or culture is racism to me. the south isn’t all bad, but it’s very interesting sometimes. after beginning my business i haven’t experienced racism in the least bit (which still surprises me)…
Post # 11
@crebre love the thread question… this is my experience and no one else…
i was born and race in Puerto Rico… there are racism in Puerto Rico but i never experience it… I move to MA in 2007 when i graduated form collage becuase my daughter was really sick and needed medical attention, someone offer housing and help but when i arrive they change their mind and i was in the streets with my 4yo daughter. i started looking for work and it was clear to me puerto rican carry and stigma, this are my examples:
1) i went to welfare because at the time i need it help. the lady was so rude to me and then said a comment that it was so shocking to me: “you people come here to live from the goverment” i was so mad i started loosing my patience and stormed out of the place… went to live in a shelter for three weeks until i found a place to live…
2) looking for apartment i call this place and the lady gave me an appointment to see the apartment. when i arrive to the place she took one look at me and told me she though i was american, to my surprise i told her i was to what she replied “no, you are not. you are a SPEAK” (thats how some people call puerto rican in usa.
3) in a job agency they told me that some companies dont even look at a resume when they read a spanish name in it… i tried and it was true… two resumes to same place. the two of them were the same, the only thing that change was the name, one with my real name and one with a non hispanic name… the call the one with the non hispanic name, i went to the interview and when the saw me the interview lasted 2 minutes…
4) last one im a spanish teacher in middle school and i see a lot of parent that dont want their kids to learn spanish because racist reasons…
This are my experiences… i do understand that here where i live there are a lot of puerto rican living a bad life and behaving really bad but still not everybody is the same… for me is sad to watch the news every night and 95% of the criminals are puerto rican or half… is sad to be judge by the actions of others and not mine…
my daughter is 7 and her skin is darker than my Fiance and I. one day we were in walmart and one of my student saw me, i introduce my daughter to that student and the first comment was “why she is darker than you?” i was in total shock… i smile and said because everybody is different. my daughter asked me int he car why she was darker and i have to explain to her that puerto rican comes in every color and that her great grandparents were black…
all of these had been a great learning experience about reality and life…
Post # 12
There are two different forms of racism being talked about here.
One is more of a personal racism (i.e. Uncle Buck hates all blacks and mexicans) and the other is more of a societal form of racism. When people say that racism doesn’t exist they tend to be talking about personal racism because it is less acceptable to say racial slurs and such in public.
I took a class in college called “The Politics of Difference” and it really opened up my eyes to social injustices in our country. It talked a lot about white privilege and whether you believe it or not, simply being white (or male, or straight, or Christian) in this country gives you more of a privilege than those who are not.
I live in a small beach suburb of LA. LA itself is very diverse but everyone in my city is white or asian for the most part. It is a well known fact that just being black or mexican puts you on the police’s radar :/
Post # 13
upsss sorry it is so long
Post # 14
@jduck: totally agree. 10 years ago I was 19 (showing my age here lol) up until then I thought that brains and great boobs would get me everywhere I wanted to go (sooo conceited but true)… and then I learned the truth. And I still say that brains and my smile and well sometimes my boobs get me a lot of doors opened that wouldn’t necessarily be opened. It’s like I feel like I have to work 10x as hard because people don’t expect me too and if I fail, people expect it from me.
For example my son is having the hardest time in school in math. The teacher’s seem surprised that I am shocked that he isn’t doing well (as if a black kid cannot succeed). It is as if no one in the school cares and my son doesn’t care and has a very strange attitude as if he doesn’t believe he can do the work. Why in the world would he think that?! He’s sooo smart and I ask him about his teachers and he shrugs his shoulders. However, I am sure if he was blonde with blue eyes they would assist him more. I get seethingly angry and have to watch my tongue with his teachers before I turn into the stereotypical angry black woman. Thank goodness I use multi-syllabic words when I am angry and tend to curse when I am agitated (backwards I know lol)
Post # 15
@magenta: my ex fiance was Nicaraguan and trust me I understand everything that you speak of. I completely agree that Hispanics are discriminated against and I honestly have never met any Hispanic person that isn’t hard working and honest. I think the bigoted idiot that sat across from me used some racial term that I had never heard of and I had to ask her what it meant (yes I’m ignorant like that to racial terms) after she told me I had to respond “You know my best friend is Colombian, right?!” She just hmm’d and haw’d…
I have never heard of anyone not wanting their children to learn spanish?! that’s insane. I try to teach my son as much Spanish and French as I know (although he’s more interested in Spanish because he has a crush on a little spanish girl lol)…
Post # 16
How many African American couples have you seen in your photographer’s blog, wedding planner’s website, or florist’s lookbook?
i picked my photographer for two things:
one – her pictures were gorgeous AND she was well within my price range
two – she had a wide range of ethnicities in her porfolio
because my wedding will be a rainbow of colors to include me and FH, i had to make sure the photographer was able to shoot different skin tones – within the same shot. many of times i see pictures of me and FH or me and other friends where i look either darker than i am or they look uber pasty.
i wanted pictures that were true to life.
@KLP – that might be why black brides gush over your photos but ultimately dont contact you – while your pictures could be museum worthy, they need to know that you can shoot all tones. have you thought of having friends help you out by doing impromptu shoots just to have them to show brides that you have that range? it definately helped when i was choosing!