Weddingbee boards

My husband and I aren't religious. I was raised Catholic but have not been to church in many years. I do believe there is a higher power, but I'm still figuring out my feelings about the whole thing. Religious people don't make me uncomfortable but I choose not to engage in religious discussion often because I don't feel I'd have anything really informed to say.

My husband on the other hand is a staunch atheist. He gets very uncomfortable when people default to religion in casual conversation. The other day we were talking to a friend (very religious) and she said "Jesus will guide you if you open your heart to him." When my husband tried to change the subject to something else, her faithful views kept popping up in the conversation. He became frustrated and ended up leaving (he didn't say anything to her, but I could tell he was getting annoyed).

So what's your take? Should people not assume you share their religious beliefs in conversation? Or is it just how some people were raised, no big deal (my take on it)? For that matter, do door to door preachers bother you at all?

I'm not religious. However, I was sent to Catholic schools and have read the bible full through 2 times which very few people can actually say.  My entire extended family (my parents are not religious) however reference god constantly. They are also the people who consistently preach through facebook as well and tell me to "look to god for the answers" when I am complaining about my day at work or something. However, I just let it go.

DH's family are Jehovah Witness', and preach constantly as that is what they are taught. I engage in full debates with them about their beliefs, because they attempt to push them upon me. They are religious recruiters and I despise it. They are required to go door to door "on service". I take joy in the fact that I tend to know more about the bible and can challenge some of the insane things that come out of their mouth. DH's step mother can never just come to the house, she must always arrive with religous printed material. They also discussed that our house was that of sinners, when we were living together prior to being married. They are also some of the most hypocritical people that I know.  For instance, DH's brother and his gf are still JW's. His gf discussed with the step-mother her being uncomfortable with us living in sin, however, they have sex and sleep in the same bed 3 to 4 nights a week, but they just lie about it. Their religion also preaches short courtships. Approx. no more than 6 months of dating and you must be married within a year or less of being engaged. So, all of the family members lie about who they are dating. However, they teach you not to lie. It's ridiculous. They also refer to their religion as "The Truth". For instance they say the are part of "the truth", they don't say they are Jehovah Witness'. They say this so that they point out that all other religions are not "the truth" but lies and therefore wrong. Ugh. Let me get off my soapbox.

@amnystik: "When someone feels corner in their way not being right they want to duck out."

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but my husband doesn't feel his view that there is no God is wrong. He just doesn't like having religiously based conversations about topics that weren't religious to begin with... since it doesn't apply to him. In other words, he feels he should be able to have neutral conversations with people even if they are religious. He wouldn't say something like "Well since there's no God..." in a conversation, so he doesn't get why a religious person would say "Well God says you should do this..."

@Tunacupcakes: Do you struggle with your upbringing and being an athiest now. DH is an athiest, but he struggles with it sometimes, because he himself references feeling like he is missing out on the closeness and unity that the religion provides. However, he would never go back, because he believes he feels this way because the religion is similar to creating a cult like relationship with god and eachother.

@crayfish: I get it. I think I'm more tolerant because I was raised in a religious home, but realized at a young age I had doubts. My husband has often had people give him the "Come to Jesus" talks and it annoys him to no end.

@amnystik: yikes on fire huh? that seems a little over the top.

You are obviously very religious. My heart does not call out to Jesus. I think Jesus is a made up character, similar to the smurfs. I'm not trying to offend you in anyway and I respect your beliefs entirely, however, we are obviously coming from different places.

@amnystik: uh huh...

@crayfish: I was raised in a typical Irish Catholic home in Boston lol. I did the first communion, Sunday school, all that. It just never felt right. Actually it wasn't until I met my DH I realized "It's ok to not conform to a religion. It doesn't make you a bad person."

They don't call it Catholic Guilt for nothing!

@amnystik: But see you're giving a prime example of what my husband was talking about. He really doesn't need Jesus to feel loved or complete. So someone saying "No you really do, you're just denying it" only pushes him further from the whole idea.

I think if people are truly being called to a faith, wouldn't they figure it out on their own without people telling them they should?

@amnystik: I'm quite confused by your last statement. Fa la lalalala fa lala la

Lots of very intelligent and thoughtful answers here!

@ellabee: I went ahead and fixed that for you ;) Not sure why I thought I could only do 4 questions?

@MissHoneyBun: Pointless or not, I'm still interested in hearing different opinions.

@ellabee: I do agree with JW's when going door to door are respectful. They are very kind people and if you dismiss them, they will walk away.

However, when they are your family the pressure is quite different. They "disfellowship" people, for turning against the faith, which basically is religious exile. Your own family members can "get in trouble" for speaking or associating with you.  DH's mother was disfellowshipped for requesting a divorce from her husband (yes you must ask permission). He was beating her and the children. She was not granted the divorce. It was not until the children were taken away by the department of children's services, DH's father almost killed his younger brother and DH actually beat him in return, that she filed for divorce. The Elders, heads of the local organizations, were made aware of this and still disfellowshipped her. There are so many similar stories to this one as they are taught to "honor thy father and they husband" regardless of how he behaves.

Please let me also note that I do not believe that all JW's act this way or should be represented by men who are like this. This is just one example of what I have seen and the fact that it effects my husband, it is the example I chose to share.

@amnystik: Ok, so if we're talking regular every day conversation like the example you just gave... if someone in real life then said "Well maybe you believe that but I don't" would you tell them "Your heart wants God, but you don't want to hear it"?