Post # 1
I have a theme I want for my bridal shower, but with that, I have also found the centerpieces and favors I want soooooo bad!
Do I have a say in the things I want at MY bridal shower? (some people seem to think I dont) OR do I just let my leading ladies do it all and be surprised?
Post # 3
I don’t think you should dictate the centerpieces or favors. That said: IF the hosts ask for your input, there’s nothing wrong with giving it – but you should NOT demand for things, etc.
If they don’t ask for your input, then just be surprised with what they come up with.
Post # 4
I say that no, you don’t have a say in your bridal shower. Stop looking at the decor, because it is rude to spend other peoples’ (ie the hosts) money. You need to concentrate on what you can control (ie wedding, and rehearsal dinner if you yourself are planning it) and leave the shower to the hosts.
Post # 5
i bought the favors for my shower myself and gave them to everyone to thank them for coming to my bridal shower! The people who threw my shower dictated food, decorations, games, and invites! (i provided the invitee list of course).
Post # 6
I think there’s a happy medium in there somewhere between ‘no say’ and ‘be surprised.’ My MOH got the guest list from me and asked me what types of things I would prefer. I could have told her a color theme or something if I’d had a preference like “Maybe something summery – like pinks and yellows” or something.
But no, I don’t think you can say you have a hard theme, complete with certain decor, that you want them to do. Helpful hints are a good thing sometimes if they don’t really know what you want. Of course it’s up to them in the end and you don’t want to be irritating, but you can mention things in casual conversation.
Post # 7
Let your friends or whoever is hosting handle all the details like this. Your chance to pick out decor and centerpieces is your wedding.
Post # 8
If you’re paying for them, then yes. But I think to just say to your girls, “I want these centerpieces” and expect them to pay for them isn’t quite the right way to go.
Post # 9
I agree that you should not have any input into your shower. You are planning a party ten times bigger – your wedding! Let your MOH and BMs do what they want as this is their moment to play hostess.
Post # 10
I had ideas too but I left it to the hosts.. if they’re nice enough to go through the work of planning a shower, let them take artistic control over it.. but like others have said, if they ask for help you can absolutely share your ideas!
Post # 11
You aren’t hosting so you don’t have a say. However, I do like PurpleUnicorn’s idea about the favors!
My sister did ask me and I said to have it at our favorite Chinese restaurant. It turned out to be a great theme!
Post # 12
Sorry, but absolutely not! They are hosting the party and unless they ask, you don’t get to tell them what kind of party to throw or what to spend their money on. The only part you should definitely have a say over is the guestlist. When it comes to centerpieces and stuff, you just need to worry about ones for your wedding.
Post # 13
i have every opinion in my shower cus im throwing it. my FMIL told me i dont have freinds so i dont get a shower so im throwing my own shower and inviting all my friends that i do have…and no they arent invisible lol
Post # 14
@cr6zy: Not really a great idea though, frowned upon because you’re basically asking people to come give you gifts. Do you have any BMs for your wedding?
Post # 15
I’m with everyone else here – I don’t think you can have a say. And even if it’s completely the opposite of everything you’ve ever wanted, I think you need to be gracious and express your gratitude and appreciation for it all. My shower is coming up in a few weeks and I’ve had the organizer emailing me asking for my favorite foods/cake flavors/flowers/music etc. I haven’t felt comfortable telling her what I wanted so I’ve just left it to their discretion. I’m just so happy and touched that they’re throwing me a shower, I really am not fussed about the details.
Maybe you’ll be able to host a shower for a friend/family member someday and can use the things you love for their shower? Just a thought….
Post # 16
@Wonderstruck: ya but they are both out of state and in the military so they cant just get up and go. my other bridesmaid is my 8 year old step daughter. i had one friend say she would do it then told me to come up with the ideas and buy all the stuff and she would take credit.