(Closed) Does the BRIDE have any say in her BRIDAL shower?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t think you should dictate the centerpieces or favors.  That said:  IF the hosts ask for your input, there’s nothing wrong with giving it – but you should NOT demand for things, etc.

If they don’t ask for your input, then just be surprised with what they come up with.

Post # 4
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I say that no, you don’t have a say in your bridal shower. Stop looking at the decor, because it is rude to spend other peoples’ (ie the hosts) money. You need to concentrate on what you can control (ie wedding, and rehearsal dinner if you yourself are planning it) and leave the shower to the hosts. 

Post # 5
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i bought the favors for my shower myself and gave them to everyone to thank them for coming to my bridal shower!  The people who threw my shower dictated food, decorations, games, and invites! (i provided the invitee list of course). 

Post # 6
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think there’s a happy medium in there somewhere between ‘no say’ and ‘be surprised.’ My MOH got the guest list from me and asked me what types of things I would prefer. I could have told her a color theme or something if I’d had a preference like “Maybe something summery – like pinks and yellows” or something.

But no, I don’t think you can say you have a hard theme, complete with certain decor, that you want them to do. Helpful hints are a good thing sometimes if they don’t really know what you want. Of course it’s up to them in the end and you don’t want to be irritating, but you can mention things in casual conversation.

Post # 7
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Let your friends or whoever is hosting handle all the details like this. Your chance to pick out decor and centerpieces is your wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you’re paying for them, then yes.  But I think to just say to your girls, “I want these centerpieces” and expect them to pay for them isn’t quite the right way to go.  

Post # 9
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that you should not have any input into your shower.  You are planning a party ten times bigger – your wedding!  Let your MOH and BMs do what they want as this is their moment to play hostess.

Post # 10
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had ideas too but I left it to the hosts.. if they’re nice enough to go through the work of planning a shower, let them take artistic control over it.. but like others have said, if they ask for help you can absolutely share your ideas!

Post # 11
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You aren’t hosting so you don’t have a say.  However, I do like PurpleUnicorn’s idea about the favors!

My sister did ask me and I said to have it at our favorite Chinese restaurant.  It turned out to be a great theme!

Post # 12
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry, but absolutely not! They are hosting the party and unless they ask, you don’t get to tell them what kind of party to throw or what to spend their money on. The only part you should definitely have a say over is the guestlist. When it comes to centerpieces and stuff, you just need to worry about ones for your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i have every opinion in my shower cus im throwing it. my FMIL told me i dont have freinds so i dont get a shower so im throwing my own shower and inviting all my friends that i do have…and no they arent invisible lol

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@cr6zy: Not really a great idea though, frowned upon because you’re basically asking people to come give you gifts. Do you have any BMs for your wedding?

Post # 15
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m with everyone else here – I don’t think you can have a say.   And even if it’s completely the opposite of everything you’ve ever wanted, I think you need to be gracious and express your gratitude and appreciation for it all.    My shower is coming up in a few weeks and I’ve had the organizer emailing me asking for my favorite foods/cake flavors/flowers/music etc.   I haven’t felt comfortable telling her what I wanted so I’ve just left it to their discretion.   I’m just so happy and touched that they’re throwing me a shower, I really am not fussed about the details.   

Maybe you’ll be able to host a shower for a friend/family member someday and can use the things you love for their shower?   Just a thought….

Post # 16
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Wonderstruck: ya but they are both out of state and in the military so they cant just get up and go. my other bridesmaid is my 8 year old step daughter. i had one friend say she would do it then told me to come up with the ideas and buy all the stuff and she would take credit. 

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