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No you don't need to pay for rooms for bridal party if you can't afford it. It would be a nice gesture if you did, but not necessary.
I've never been paid for, no. If you've got the money and are willing to do that, it would be much appreciated I'm sure!
90% of my bridal party is coming in from out of town and I am not paying for their rooms with 2 exceptions: 1 is my maid of honor who works very hard for little money, and has no family to help her with the expense. We are paying for her room as she would never ask us to do so, but can genuinely not afford it. The second is for one of the best men. Both of his daughters are our flower girls, so we are paying for the family to travel up for the wedding and stay for a week as their yearly "family vacation" - this is a situation where they will be spending so much money on us (and themselves) to be a part of the wedding that we knew money was going to be tight come the hotel bill. The rest of the bridal party is paying for their own rooms. To make up for not paying for my girls travel arrangements/accomodations, I am paying for their hair and make-up to be professionally done on the day of my wedding (in addition to a bridal gift).
@ eupenmalmody - - that is a GREAT idea that I hadn't thought of. To pay for hair/make up.....
Thanks! The cost of hair and makeup comes to less that what one night at my hotel (a Marriott) is costing. Given that my entire party (with one exception, my cousin) is from out of town (I have 7 girls total) - I thought this would be a nice gesture to let them know that I appreciate everything they are doing to be there for my wedding. Not to mention the fact that they won't know where to go in the area to get it done if I was not providing. Plus, I get the added bonus of having us all be together getting ready the morning of the wedding!
i've never heard that you have to pay for the hotel. if you can afford it and you want to gift it to them, that would be awesome, but not necessary. we are paying for a room for the girls for the night before, but that's for purely selfish reasons! i want them with me to keep me sane! they will either be going home or to a relative's house the night of.
You are not responsible for this cost.
PSA to ladies negotiating rates - I negotiated a rate of $150 at a brand new Four Seasons that has been featured in Platinum Weddings and my wedding isn't even going to be held there.
Hotels are REALLY dropping their prices for wedding blocks right now.
I would either pay for it all (if you have the money) or not at all. Your wedding isn't until October, which gives your party plenty of time to save. If you are concerned about certain people being able to afford the hotel, then perhaps reach out to them directly to see what you can do to help. I would certainly let your party know about the hotel and rate as soon as possible though - just in case they need to start saving. $119 is a great rate - and much less than many other hotels.
I have heard and known of varying practices regarding paying for the bridal party's hotel and transportation. It's comforting to hear people say there's no expectation that either will be paid for. All of our wedding party is either local or our siblings so I think they'll take care of themselves. Hair and makeup though, definitely that should be paid for by whomever is paying for the wedding! Most people would not get professional makeup or hairstyling done for someone else's wedding, so it is expected that if a bride wants her bridesmaids to be professionally done, then it will be paid for. Of course it's a fun thing to do together on the day of the wedding! Now personally, I'm debating whether to pay for mani/pedicures for my three ladies, or just ask them to slap on some polish. :)
I also negotiated an extreme discount for my hotel (a Marriott) - the rate for a king size room (with breakfast) is $79 per night (from $179+) and the rate for a double room (with breakfast) is $89 per night (from $189+). There are some great deals to be found!
THANK YOU SO MUCH - and I am jealous that you were able to get a Marriott that low. The waterfront Marriott here in Seattle won’t go lower than $149 - keep in mind it’s the off season plus NO ONE visits Seattle the end of October beginning of November!!!!! I thought it was most interesting considering right now their rooms are as low as $95/night. The Marriott sales gal didn’t like my comment about that, haahaahaa
Neither me or FI (total 10 weddings in the bridal party between us) have ever had our hotel room paid for. It would be amazing, but again as the bees have said- totally unnecessary.
we didn't!
actually our best man paid for my hubby's hotel room the night before the wedding!
I had a very similar situation to eupenmalmody. I only had an MOH and 1 BM and I paid for their hotel rooms mostly because I knew it would be a real stretch for them financially, to the point where they probably would have had to say no to the trip. So, no, you definitely are not expected to, but if there's someone who really can't afford it but who really wants to be there (and you can afford it), then it is a nice gesture.
I used to work in the bridal industry and I have always heard that it is proper wedding etiquette to pay for the wedding party's hotel accommodations. It is not your responsibility to pay for their travel expenses or wedding attire but the hotel rooms, in my opinion, yes it is your responsibility. When I got married everyone in our wedding party was in college so we knew they were all strapped for cash. So we paid for their attire, shoes, jewelry, and hotel accommodations for 2 nights. I did not pay for the hair and make-up for the bridesmaids but I gave them the option of getting it done. I did not care if they paid to have that done professionally.
If you chose not to pay for anything, be considerate and keep the cost minimal. This weekend my husband is in a wedding and the the groom picked out the most expensive tux in the tuxedo shop, a hotel room at a luxury hotel and wants to go out to eat at an expensive restaurant for lunch on Friday and breakfast on Saturday. They are not paying for any of this. Including our travel expenses and paying for a babysitter for our two children, it is going to cost us a fortune. I dont think he would have agreed to be in the wedding if he knew it was going to be so expensive. We decided to stay at a different hotel than the others and probably skip out on the expensive meals. I just hope they dont take it the wrong way and think we are being rude.
Until I saw this thread, I have never heard of the bride and groom or bride's parents not paying for the wedding party's hotel accommodations so I did some research and this is the best answer I came across (it is from Bridal Guide):
Do I need to pay for an out-of-town bridesmaid's travel expenses?
Q: One of my bridesmaids lives in another state. Am I responsible for paying for her transportation to and from my wedding? —Akron, Ohio
A: You are not responsible for your attendants" travel expenses. However, you are responsible for their accommodations and should make arrangements for your out-of-state attendants to stay with you, another member of the wedding party or any friends and relatives who graciously offer a room in their homes. Its probably a good idea to discuss travel costs with your bridesmaid now so that there is no misunderstanding about finances later on. And if the travel costs will be too much of a burden for her, you may want to help contribute to the expense as a gift for being in your wedding.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
Bridal party pays for their own rooms. However, because we gave our hotel so much business (as in 35 rooms already booked within days of making the block and the wedding isn't until October lol) the hotel comped two suites for us - one for me and the BMS and one for my FI and GMs. I would try to get some free stuff out of it if I were you!
@shaydenise: I want your hotel! Seriously, I ended up cancelling all my reservations at a hotel because they refused to give a discount even though me and mine were dropping some serious amounts of cash there, in off season.
But to answer the OP, I personally don't think you're obligated to pay for the wedding party's rooms. I do think if you can afford it, gifting the room as a thank you for participating (if you're not buying clothes, hair/make-up etc) is a nice gesture but not expected or needed.
FI and I are actually paying for all of our out of town guests to stay for the weekend of our wedding. It's kind of a little gift to me to be able to hang out with some great people for a whole weekend and a thank you to them for making the effort to travel for my wedding. Nobody was expecting this and are very grateful for the gift. ;-)
I have never heard of the bride and groom paying for the hotel rooms of the wedding party (and my lodging has never been paid for when I was a bridesmaid). I definitely do not think it is necessary but if you've got extra money sitting around you'd like to spend, I'm sure your wedding party would appreciate your generousity!
I've never seen the couple (or parents) pay for the wedding party members hotel rooms. I have read of it in ettiquette books, but I think it was probably left over from days when out of town guests would be hosted by family member who lived in town or, if need be, at a local inn. Good for you for getting a low rate for your guests, you've done all that you can be expected to do!
They're not going to expect you to pay for that. You've already gotten your guests a discount! :)
it is unneccessary and certainly is not expected for you to pay for the hotel rooms. that being said, if you can afford it it might be a nice touch (same rule of thumb as paying for bridesmiads dresses!)
we're paying for our party, BUT we only have 1 person on each side, our destination wedding requires them both to be off work for 2 days, and we're doing this will a small token of our affection instead of a big thank-you gift...
I've gleaned from other board posts about this that it's a regional difference. Personally, I had never even HEARD of the bride paying for bridal party hotel rooms (but, I also had never heard of the bride paying for bridesmaids' dresses, either). So I'd say, definitely not, and they won't be expecting it.
That being said, if you come from a region where it's done, or where it's expected, even, and you can afford it, it certainly would be a nice touch. But again, I had never even heard of such a thing, so in my eyes, you're 100% off the hook!
We are paying for 2 nights at our room block for the bridal party. We are having a destination wedding so we thought it was only fair to pay for dresses/suits, hair & makeup, and hotel. We didn't do this because of etiquette just because we didn't want to put our nearest and dearest of a lot of money.
We are paying for one large suite for our groomsmen (we had another large suite that came free with rental of this 24-room boutique hotel), one for our wedding coordinator and one for the wedding officiant and his wife. That's it. Everyone else is on their own. We are only asking people to stay one night and most of the people are local but the wedding is a good 2-3 drive for some, and the location is at the other end of a tunnel that goes through a mountatin that closes after 10 pm at night, so, we knew our guests would opt to stay over night. We just can't afford the $2500+ to pay for everyone's rooms.
We always expect to pay for the rooms ourselves and I've been to hundreds of weddings. It's not something I think the bride and groom should have to pay for.
i was just wondering about this. i am having a small wedding in a country hotel. i think i will pay for the bridesmaids and their partners to stay over, but not the rest of the guests.
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FI and I are marrying on 10.31.2010 in Seattle. We found a great boutique hotel in the heart of downtown. The rate they are giving us for or out of town guests (90% of our guests) is $119 per night – isn’t that fantastic!?!?!?
What is the rule of thumb for the hotel rooms for your bridal party?
PLEASE HELP BEE’S - thank you
**PS - sorry this is posted twice. With the new set up I accidentally put in in Dress, argh**