(Closed) Does the wedding party automatically get a +1?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Does the Bridal party automatically get a +1?
    Yes : (76 votes)
    64 %
    No : (16 votes)
    14 %
    Up to the couples discretion : (26 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MsGinkgo:  Yes, I think you should still give her a plus 1, even if you think she won’t bring anyone. I guess I don’t see how this might offend her? I think she may be more offended if you don’t give her the option to bring someone.

    Post # 4
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @MsGinkgo:  If your wedding date is accurate and it’s not until April of next year, I’d wait and see.  Your Bridesmaid or Best Man may find someone amazing in the next couple of months that she’d want to bring and she might not.  The best thing would be to wait until much closer to time before making any decision and potentially asking her what she would like and feel comfortable with.

    Post # 5
    352 posts
    Helper bee

    @MsGinkgo:  I think you should just ask her.

    Post # 7
    8580 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Everyone in my bridal party gets a +1. It only seems right to me. This includes fi’s 16 year old sister [who will be 18 at the time of our wedding]. She has a boyfriend at the moment, but I’m sure she’ll have another by then. She’s still getting a +1.

    Post # 8
    278 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Cappugcino:  Agreed. I would wait until closer to time.

    We’re not giving anyone a +1, not even the bridal party. If they are dating someone seriously, that person will be invited by name. 

    Post # 9
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    QUESTION – Does the wedding party automatically get a +1?


    Etiquette Snob here…

    The Rule of Thumb, is no matter what you choose to do for the rest of your Guests…

    Immediate Family (Mom, Dad, Sisters, Brothers, etc) and your Bridal Party ALL GET Plus Ones… be that they are Engaged, Living Together / Common Law Married, or Married (the normal Plus One List) or not… Dating or Single

    In which case their Invites are addressed… Ms Susan Smith & Guest

    And for the record, it doesn’t matter WHO Susan wishes to bring with her as her Guest, the courtesy has been extended… so it could be her regular SO, or some guy she’s just met / asked out, or even her BFF or her Mom (if that is who she wants to spend the Weekend with).  Yours is not to judge.  Your job is to be happy that she has agreed to stand by you as you walk down the aisle into another phase of life

    Hope this helps,

    EDIT TO ADD (based on comments by another Bee)… Normally Plus Ones when granted are given to Guests 18 and over… there is no requirement to offer them to those who are not adults.  BUT if one wants to do so, there is also no rule that says it cannot be done.


    Post # 10
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We didn’t automatically give our wedding party +1s. For anyone in a longterm/serious relationship their significant others were invited. We’re letting a few +1s trickle in now that we know we’re not going over our venue capacity, but we initially decided against it because:

    – Our wedding party is huge (7 BMs and 9 GMs) already

    – Our wedding party is close, and the single friends knew in advance/are road-tripping from MA to NJ together and staying in the hotel together, so we’re not worried about anyone being left out

    – We really didn’t want people bringing +1s we didn’t know. I know this isn’t as much of an issue generally with wedding party people, but a few of my BMs are… a bit look-before-you-leap sooo we wanted to play it safe.

    On that note though, one BMs new bf (who we haven’t met… but apparantly it’s going well) was extended an invitation, and another’s on again/off again Boyfriend or Best Friend is coming. C’est la vie.

    Post # 11
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MsGinkgo:  If they’re in relationships, YES. If they’re single and gonna bring a random, I think that depends on the bride&groom and the type/size of wedding. I don’t feel like a single bridesmaid would be justified in feeling put out if you’re having TINY, intimate wedding.

    If you can provide the +1, I would, though. I’m usually anti-random people at weddings, but since she’s the only single lady in the wedding party, it’d be nice if you could let her bring someone.

    Post # 12
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We gave a plus one to everyone in the bridal party except DH’s 14 year old niece.  Even the truly single ones.

    If it makes you feel any better, the ones that were really single (and even one who had been dating someone for a few months) didn’t bring anyone.  They said they wouldn’t want a date wandering around not knowing anyone while they were off doing bridesmaid stuff, and I’d be willing to bet that’s not an uncommon sentiment. 

    I’d give her the option.  I really don’t think you can go wrong giving her the option to bring someone.  Your other option would be to address the invitation just to her, and then talk to her like right after they go out and say “look, I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain by putting it on the envelope, but you’re welcome to bring someone to the wedding if you’d like.”  Although I’d just stick it on the envelope and trust she’ll take it in the kind way in which it’s meant.

    Post # 13
    2 posts
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Of my 3 bridesmaids, 2 of them haven’t been in a relationship for years and neither are dating anyone, not even casually, so…. I don’t know who they’d even bring to be honest. The other has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for 5+ years and he is invited.

    Post # 14
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @MsGinkgo:  yeah I think they automatically do. I really wanted 3 of my very good friends to come to our wedding but when we decided on 25 guest limit, it meant those 3 friends couldnt come. 3 good friends + their significant others= 6 people. Sucks but thats how it is I think.

    Post # 15
    2674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

    We only gave plus ones to those in serious relationships, even bridal party members.

    Post # 16
    1 posts
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We will be giving +1 to our Bridal Party, of course, most of Bridal Party are family though.

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