Post # 1
Is everyone in the bridal party automatically extended a +1? In my case, 3 of my 4 maids are in serious relationships, the 4th recently ended a serious relationship and I know she has no intention of dating anyone anytime soon. Should I still give her a +1? I feel like it would be weird to write & guest on her invite (no one else gets a +1, only couples living together)and I’m worried she might be offended – but at the same time I don’t want to be rude and not extend the courtesy.
Post # 3
@MsGinkgo: Yes, I think you should still give her a plus 1, even if you think she won’t bring anyone. I guess I don’t see how this might offend her? I think she may be more offended if you don’t give her the option to bring someone.
Post # 4
@MsGinkgo: If your wedding date is accurate and it’s not until April of next year, I’d wait and see. Your Bridesmaid or Best Man may find someone amazing in the next couple of months that she’d want to bring and she might not. The best thing would be to wait until much closer to time before making any decision and potentially asking her what she would like and feel comfortable with.
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: I think you should just ask her.
Post # 6
@Sea_Ashley: I guess offend is the wrong word. I guess I
d be worried it would be more like a slap in the face, reminder shes single etc. we
re both 30 and shes having a hard time with the fact she`s not in a serious relationship right now. She thought she was going to marry the man she was dating, he changed his mind.
Post # 7
Everyone in my bridal party gets a +1. It only seems right to me. This includes fi’s 16 year old sister [who will be 18 at the time of our wedding]. She has a boyfriend at the moment, but I’m sure she’ll have another by then. She’s still getting a +1.
Post # 8
@Cappugcino: Agreed. I would wait until closer to time.
We’re not giving anyone a +1, not even the bridal party. If they are dating someone seriously, that person will be invited by name.
Post # 9
QUESTION – Does the wedding party automatically get a +1?
ANSWER – YES
Etiquette Snob here…
The Rule of Thumb, is no matter what you choose to do for the rest of your Guests…
Immediate Family (Mom, Dad, Sisters, Brothers, etc) and your Bridal Party ALL GET Plus Ones… be that they are Engaged, Living Together / Common Law Married, or Married (the normal Plus One List) or not… Dating or Single
In which case their Invites are addressed… Ms Susan Smith & Guest
And for the record, it doesn’t matter WHO Susan wishes to bring with her as her Guest, the courtesy has been extended… so it could be her regular SO, or some guy she’s just met / asked out, or even her BFF or her Mom (if that is who she wants to spend the Weekend with). Yours is not to judge. Your job is to be happy that she has agreed to stand by you as you walk down the aisle into another phase of life
Hope this helps,
EDIT TO ADD (based on comments by another Bee)… Normally Plus Ones when granted are given to Guests 18 and over… there is no requirement to offer them to those who are not adults. BUT if one wants to do so, there is also no rule that says it cannot be done.
Post # 10
We didn’t automatically give our wedding party +1s. For anyone in a longterm/serious relationship their significant others were invited. We’re letting a few +1s trickle in now that we know we’re not going over our venue capacity, but we initially decided against it because:
– Our wedding party is huge (7 BMs and 9 GMs) already
– Our wedding party is close, and the single friends knew in advance/are road-tripping from MA to NJ together and staying in the hotel together, so we’re not worried about anyone being left out
– We really didn’t want people bringing +1s we didn’t know. I know this isn’t as much of an issue generally with wedding party people, but a few of my BMs are… a bit look-before-you-leap sooo we wanted to play it safe.
On that note though, one BMs new bf (who we haven’t met… but apparantly it’s going well) was extended an invitation, and another’s on again/off again Boyfriend or Best Friend is coming. C’est la vie.
Post # 11
@MsGinkgo: If they’re in relationships, YES. If they’re single and gonna bring a random, I think that depends on the bride&groom and the type/size of wedding. I don’t feel like a single bridesmaid would be justified in feeling put out if you’re having TINY, intimate wedding.
If you can provide the +1, I would, though. I’m usually anti-random people at weddings, but since she’s the only single lady in the wedding party, it’d be nice if you could let her bring someone.
Post # 12
We gave a plus one to everyone in the bridal party except DH’s 14 year old niece. Even the truly single ones.
If it makes you feel any better, the ones that were really single (and even one who had been dating someone for a few months) didn’t bring anyone. They said they wouldn’t want a date wandering around not knowing anyone while they were off doing bridesmaid stuff, and I’d be willing to bet that’s not an uncommon sentiment.
I’d give her the option. I really don’t think you can go wrong giving her the option to bring someone. Your other option would be to address the invitation just to her, and then talk to her like right after they go out and say “look, I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain by putting it on the envelope, but you’re welcome to bring someone to the wedding if you’d like.” Although I’d just stick it on the envelope and trust she’ll take it in the kind way in which it’s meant.
Post # 13
Of my 3 bridesmaids, 2 of them haven’t been in a relationship for years and neither are dating anyone, not even casually, so…. I don’t know who they’d even bring to be honest. The other has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for 5+ years and he is invited.
Post # 14
@MsGinkgo: yeah I think they automatically do. I really wanted 3 of my very good friends to come to our wedding but when we decided on 25 guest limit, it meant those 3 friends couldnt come. 3 good friends + their significant others= 6 people. Sucks but thats how it is I think.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church
We only gave plus ones to those in serious relationships, even bridal party members.
Post # 16
We will be giving +1 to our Bridal Party, of course, most of Bridal Party are family though.