(Closed) does this happen to anyone else?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Perhaps she’s busy? Maybe she needs to check her schedule at work or something? I would rather have someone putting it off for a few days than say “yes” and have her cancel a week before the wedding. Maybe you need to call them instead of text messaging (and give her a date by which she needs to have a reply).

I can understand your frusteration, but if she has a history of being selfish, spoiled, and self centered why would you want to rely on her to participate in your wedding? Just because she offered and got excited? I’d find someone else or hire someone.

Good luck. You have a cool idea going.

Post # 4
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Its a generational thing. That generation, for the most part, have been caudled all their lives and have a overblown sense of entitlement. Good luck communicating with them. Like the PP said, maybe its time to actually call. Maybe give your cousin a deadline to give you a response or you will just choose someone else? 

Post # 5
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve learned not to trust anyone under the age of 22 (<- arbitrary number)  lol  I would give yourself a back-up plan in case these guys don’t show up.

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Let us know how it goes… πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mayflowerbride13:  lol  I think most of them need to pass their partying ways or graduate college or have a full-time job.  My baby sister is 23 yrs old.  And, she has spurts of irresponsibility.  She’ll go out until 3 am and then, forget she had things to do with me the next day.  Grr… //  Good luck!  I know how you want to include them but sometimes you have to do what’s necessary and just let them be guests. 

Post # 11
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mayflowerbride13:  I don’t get why people are rude like this. It’s a huge pet peeve of mine… especially when you KNOW the person is glued to their phone. How long does it take to return a text message?!

I don’t know how people are raised these days!

Then again, you get the a-holes who take forever to reply to emails (or just ignore them) who are a variety of ages. *ARRRRRGH!!!!*

Post # 13
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, I think you’re way over reacting.  I don’t think they are being immature, I think you are being a tad impatient.  Just because there is the capibility to get in touch with someone instantly doesn’t mean you are entitled to and will get that instant contact.  Honestly, if I were one of your cousins I’d be super annoyed with you.  Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I have time.  Sometimes, it might take me a few days.  Just because I can read your text doesn’t mean I have time to answer it right away nor does it mean I have an aswer.  If you need an answer by a certain time, you need to let people know.  All you have to say is “Hey, I need an answer by Thursday.  If I don’t hear from you I’ll assume you can’t make it.”   Maybe Cousin B was trying to figure out her plans to see if she could attend.  I don’t think not having an answer for 3 days is stringing you along…

Now, if Cousin A just didn’t come, that’s another story and another situation and I would be annoyed to.  But he said he’d come, did come, and just didn’t confirm when you wanted, I’d just let it go.  Maybe he didn’t get your text right away or was busy when you called.  Sometimes my phone is in the other room and I miss calls and texts and don’t see them until the next day.  Same with FB.

Post # 14
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mayflowerbride13:  I find that if people are interested in doing something, they’ll usually respond right away. If they’re not, they’ll usually wait until the last second to say no, because they want to delay the “bad feelings”” that come with it. 

Good example: RSVPs. I’m sure you’ll find that more people who are RSVPing yes will send their cards back right away. Most “no”‘s come right before the deadline.

I think you should take the approach that I take with my DH when I want him to do something that I think he doesn’t want to do. I’ll ask him once. If he doesn’t do it, I’ll ask him a 2nd time, just to remind him in case he forgot. If he still doesn’t do it, it means he has no intention of doing it. So I either drop it or do it myself.

it prevents a) me from becoming a nag and b) me from being dissapointed in him for constantly ignoring my requests.

It’s just human nature, so if you manage your expectations, you will be happier in the end.

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