Post # 1
So I have decided that I want to have 2 different hairstyles for my wedding day. Different for the ceremony and different for the reception which is about 4hrs after.
I was told that a family member (his sister) that I have always respected said that wanting to have 2 diff hairstyles is bridezilla behaviour. There are so many details that in my culture are just normal (2 dresses, 2 hairstyles, proffesional makeup artist and stuff like that) that she doesn’t agree with and she has no problem voicing/trying to force her opinion and basically complaining to my fiance and her mom.
Please don’t try to make me feel better or be nice to me. If you think that she is right, tell me, because I have no problem doing only one hairstyle if that will make her be nicer and stop complaining.
Post # 3
Nope – not a bridezilla unless you are going to hold up the celebrations for the change time and it was excessive
Now if you told her she had to wear two different hairstyles and they were to be of your choosing that would qualify LOL
Just be nice and tell her it is traditional 🙂
Post # 4
Bridezilla? I think NOT!!! It’s your wedding and if you want 2 different hairstyles, 2 different pair’s of shoes or 2 cakes you should have it. If you live to please everyone else then who lives to please you? You need to have a wedding as you wish and if it makes you happy and doesn’t intrude on anyone then do it.
To me it seems this family member is to opinionated and complains if it’s to sunny outside. Am I right?
Post # 5
I don’t know your culture at all, but if it is common in your culture, then I’d say it is fine. In my culture, having 2 hairstyles is a bit high maintenance, but, unless you get really bitchy with your hairdressers or family members, then you are NOT being a bridezilla! (IMO)
Post # 6
Nope. You’ve got a block of time there in between, might as well get a refresher hair-do. Plus if you’re having 2 dresses, why not have 2 hairstyles?
Post # 7
Well if your only concern is to shut her up, then do whatever she tells you. But if that’s just going to piss you off, then tell her to mind her own business. A snarky response would be something like “Oh you think THAT is bridezilla? Just wait until you see where I’m seating YOU.” A nice diplomatic response would be “I know SO loves me for who I am, but I want to look my best for him on our wedding day!” Your best bet would be to stop sharing details with someone who isn’t likely to agree with your choices due to cultural conflict. If you want to keep the peace, then simply deflect conversation about the wedding to something else when she’s around.
Post # 8
@MightySapphire: hahaha you’re awesome.
Um, no. That is NOT bridezilla behavior. You are just doing what you want to do at your wedding! Get it girl!
Post # 9
@Ill Be Mrs B:
lol you are right. My fiance warned me about his sister and about how she likes to take control and boss people around. I would get mad at him and think he is mean for talking like that about his sister. Now I know what he means. lol
Post # 10
I definitely don’t think it’s bridezilla behaviour, but I just found that the day went SOOO fast that I don’t think I would want to have been cooped up in a salon between ceremony and reception. I just wanted to take photos, hang out with my new husband and soak up the love!
Post # 11
nope, i concur with the others. bridezilla means you are making other people’s lives hell and feel entitled to do because its your wedding. i assume the only person working for your 2 hair styles is your hairdresser and its their job, so they are happy to do it and they are getting paid! i dont see a problem with that!
Post # 12
I agree with you 100% but I have no choice. She is a bridesmaid and it’s a pretty difficult situation since both him and I don’t live at where the wedding will be. Guess who the only person that has been to more than 20 weddings so far and that lives in the city where we are getting married is? HIS SISTER! (well a few other family members of his live there, but she is the only one involved with the wedding)
Post # 13
She is not right, and it is none of her darn business if you want to have 2 or 10 or 20 different hairstyles, your hair isn’t affecting her! I think that’s the true giveaway of a bridezilla is that their actions negatively impact others and they don’t really care. Not always, but usually.
Post # 14
There are still two months until the wedding, which is plenty of time to keep her out of the loop. She has inserted herself into your planning process, but it doesn’t sound like you’re comfortable with that. I planned a wedding from another continent on my own. I’m sure that you are intelligent and capable enough of planning your wedding with minimal “help” from your FSIL. A bridesmaid doesn’t need to know the knitty gritty details until the week of the wedding, really. Just when to show up and what to wear. That’s about it. When she shows up, then give her all the details.
I think she’s making you feel like the fact that she’s been to 20 weddings means she knows anything about weddings. Maybe from a guest’s point of view, but certainly not from a planning perspective. I would take her advice with a grain of salt. I’ve been to hundreds of symphony concerts, but it doesn’t mean I can conduct an orchestra, you know? 😉
Post # 15
Unless she is paying for your hair, then why the heck does she care? I would say – “In my family circle, changing hair and outfits from ceremony to reception is the norm, and it is what I want for my wedding.” Then change the topic of conversation. Nip her commentary in the bud!!! Or she is going to think that it is okay forever, which is really going to get annoying when you guys start a family/buy a house/etc.
Post # 16
It’s only “bridezilla” if it inconveniences your guests, costs more money than is in the budget, or causes you to hyper-focus on minute details to the point of lashing out at others when things aren’t perfect.
It doesn’t sound like it will inconvenience your guests, since there;s a 4 hour gap anyway. I don’t know anything about your budget–is having a hairdresser for the extra hours reasonably within your budget? If so, fine. As for the third, as long as you don’t freak out about your hair (doesn’t sound like you are at all!), then you’re fine.