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I have really enjoyed about 90% of the wedding planning up to now. I like putting our personal touches on everything and making things unique and meaningful. But favors I just don't get. Yes, I'll admit that I remember every favor that I've ever gotten. I definitely like food favors (who wouldn't?). But we're paying for the wedding ourselves and are buying VERY generous gifts for our parents and wedding party. And we're doing an open bar (possibly limited to beer, wine & a signature drink).
Are favors really necessary? My sister (who got married last year and loves all things wedding) thinks we'll look cheap if we don't do SOMETHING, even if it's a small donation.
I don't get the favors thing either and won't be doing them. And no, I don't think you'll look cheap at all.
I've struggled with favors too. But I always have to keep reminding myself about our guests. I think a lot of the time we brides can get too focused on the amount of money we are paying for the wedding, and totally forget about the expenses all the guests have in order to attend the wedding. These could include hotel, airfare, gas, a gift, an outfit, etc. So I think you should at least do something, especially if your family members think you need to.
I highly doubt we will be doing anything. I never understood favors--every favor I have ever gotten at a wedding has been tossed in the trash or holed away somewhere, never to be seen again. Unless I find something really cool and cheap, I won't bother.
I'm with you on the favors thing-but a lot of people are of the mindset "if you don't gt me a favor why should I buy you a gift." Or they get mad if you make a donation in their name. It's really silly and petty since you are hosting a big party for them to attend so I must be missing something.
We're not doing favors! I don't think people will really be looking for them or be upset that they don't get one, so I say don't do it if you really don't want to!
I think it's important to recognize that, YES, there WILL be some people at your wedding who are shocked and offended (maybe even your sister) that you're not giving them seven jordan almonds in an organza bag with a bow.
Does that justify having to do favors? No.
I would guess that the majority of your guests won't notice/miss favors. Afterall, they probably aren't aware of all the cool favor ideas floating around Wedding World, and probably think favors don't extend past those jordan almonds. :)
Just a thought, but have you attended a wedding before where there were no favors? What did you think?
I can't remember attending a favorless wedding so it's probably something I'd notice.
If you really don't want to have favors, then don't. But if you kind of do want them and money is an issue, there are really inexpensive things you could do. My cousin did a handful of hershey kisses wrapped in tulle and tied with a little bow.
I'm really not into favors either. I've never kept the ones I've gotten unless they were food. So I imagine a lot of people feel the same way. I don't plan on doing them. If we look cheap to some guests, I kinda don't care!
I'm not doing favors. Basically because I can't remember a single favor I have ever taken home with me from a wedding. There have been some food items, but mostly, nothing memorable. I would rather spend the money on something else! Don't worry about looking cheap. If anything, some people might feel relieved to not be obliged to take home something they really don't want!
We had favors because mom was like "omg you MUST have them" and frankly, they were kinda fun to have. I like party favors, haha. But really, I don't think 90% of guests care if you have them. If i could go back, I'd do a cookie bar or something like what Mrs. Dumpling did and do milks, too. Snacks are always good on your way out the door. Usually by 11 or 12pm, if you ate at 5 or 6, it's time to eat something. At least for me =]
if you're worried about not having ANY favours you could always go the donation route - do a small amount that you're comfortable with and just tell them you made 'a donation in their honour'.
they don't need to know how much, because as far as they know you could have donated a few thousand!
Wedding favours were created by the wedding industry for another thing for planning brides to spend money on.
The idea of a party in general is you host a party (food, alcohol, fun atmosphere/music etc.) and the guests bring a host a gift. Your gift to them is the party.
That being said if people want to have favours and have in the budget I am all for it.
When I first came to wedding bee there were 2 posts: one that said "what favours do you hate to get" and one that said "what favours do you love to get" almost all the different types of favours were on each post it was really funny (even edible ones). You can't please everyone and those posts were what made me decide to not give a favour and do an extra hour of open bar instead!
The only favor I've ever kept was a small framed photo of the bride and groom. I put it on my desk at work.
We're doing a donation to an organization that I used to intern for. If we didn't have a personal connection like that, we'd probably opt out of the favor idea altogether.
We are paying for our wedding too. Some of the foodie favors that we LOVED were just way out of our budget. We toyed with the idea of old fashioned candy sticks at each place setting... no dice...
Finally, we happened upon a recipe for a spiced drink mix that can easily be made at home and can be used to make apple cider or spiced wine. I just ordered our cone shaped bags and the entire project should cost us less than 50 cents per person.
With a 200+ guest list, we were determined not to spend more than a dollar for something awesome.
I think if it is something important to you, you can make it work... That said, if you'd rather use that money to do something else for the benefit of your guests, you can totally get away with skipping favors. :)
Honestly, I'm with Future Mrs. Martin. Your gift to your guests is the party you're throwing--the extra couple of bucks per person that you'd spend on a favor that they'd likely eat or throw away, and almost definitely forget about, is not a big deal. Do what you're comfortable with, but I don't remember if the weddings I've been to have had favors....they're not the most important part of the night!
I have several nice wedding favors that I've kept for a long time,but they were not cheap and are very useful. For that bride's shower we were given silverplated pasta servers,and for the wedding favors we were given silverplated salad servers. I use them to this day. I also use some small silver picture frames, used as placecard holders.
I don't remember many of the cheap favors that were given, but I know I've had my share of plastic baskets filled with mints, and Jordan almonds wrapped in tulle.
If its important to you to have favors, then I think you should have them. If not, probably the only ones who will notice are your older relatives who are used to getting them! lol
prettyflowers, No I have not attended a wedding with no favors. I have gotten bubbles, candy, a candy buffet, a donation in my honor, and little knick knacks. My sister is the one who has been to a wedding with no favors and she's the one who told me that I HAVE to do something.
I'd honestly rather put the money towards more of an open bar. Maybe I'll do a small donation in honor of FI's dad (he died of melanoma) and call it a day.
Thanks for the advice!
It will certainly not make you look cheap. The most expensive wedding I have ever been to, at a really nice resort in Nantucket (which is an expensive as hell area to begin with) did not have favors, and I certainly did not miss them.
We aren't doing favors at our wedding either.
I personally think that you should have favors, even if it is something small.
You don't necessarily have to spend a lot. You could get the little boxes from Michaels or the Dollar store even and fill them up with M&M's. Plus, if you make them up kind of cute, they decorate your tables! :)
My centerpieces are succulents which the guest can take home. I'm using 3 wooden boxes of various heights which the guests can take home. Those are my favors.
Yeah, I think they totally arn't necissary...but the gesture is nice.
Put a strict budget on it, ours was $75 & we were able to find a great local bakery where we were able to stay in budget and have cookies for everyone :)
People just throw them away. They are tradition at weddings here in NJ and I don't know anyone who would miss them if they disappeared. I say save your money and skip it.
There was only one wedding that I have been to that didn't have favors and it was actually one of my best friends. To be completely honest with you....yes I did think that it looked cheap. Even a small favor works wonders to make people feel appreciated. That is just my opinion though.
I haven't been to a wedding that had favors in probably two years and it was just a little tin of M&M's that most everyone tossed in the trash as soon as they were done eating the M&M's. Our wedding is right after Christmas so we're going to have Christmas trees and let people know if they want to take an ornament on their way out they can but that's as far as we're going with it, mainly because the ornaments are gold and our tree at home has silver so I don't want to store a TON of gold ornaments, haha! (Wow I sound like a cheapskate...)
I would rather not do them.. but I KNOW that people would take issue to it. So we are making home made cookies, putting 3 in a bag and folding the bag over & sealing it with a sticker. We'll have more cookies at the wedding, but at least it's something they can all "take home". It won't cost us a lot of money, but still shows that we thought about them.
Now days favors are pretty optional. I got inexpensive sleeves and ribbon and will be filling them with either chocolates or a brownie pop... both of which I'm making myself. Our total cost will be about $50 for 100 guests... not a bad deal but it's definitely going to be work to get all the goodies made!
favors don't have to be such a production. Just put a little container of candies on each table..you actually can just put wrapped candies w/o the container, and call it good!
it's just a little something for your guests that let them know you are acknowledging their presence...
We didn't have favors and I don't think anyone even noticed or cared.
I've been to plenty of weddings where there is no favor. Usually there's a sign on the table, or a little note on the back of the menu that says that a donation has been made in lieu of favors. I actually don't mind it - one less thing to carry out. I mean, I've just been eating, dancing and drinking for about 5hrs... is that cookie absolutely necessary on the way back to the hotel?LOL
I'm stuck on this also as we are paying for everything ourselves and decided to 'splurge' on a great band. I don't think you will look cheap at all in fact it might look worse if you did something cheap looking or small just because you felt like you HAD to do favors.
Good luck!
You might want to do something smal just to calm the nay sayers. For example, a favor idea I have is to but mexican wedding cookies from a local bakery where I work; they are only 4 for a $1! At 150 guest it wont be more than $150 plus I'll just buy a lil baggie, wrap a bow, and done!
I talked to FI about this and we ended up having a fight about it. About favors?! He is really against doing even small favors (I was going to do 1 cookie per guest wrapped in ribbon with a cute tag), and I don't think it's worth arguing about. he thinks we are doing enough for our guests by feeding them and providing an open bar, and that favors are a waste of money.
So I guess we'll just end up looking cheap, but hopefully no one will judge us for it.
Nah! It's your wedding, do whatever is within your means. People will have a great time with or w/o favors.
IF we do favors (for our tiny wedding of 35 guests...) we'll probably just do little bags of those custom M&Ms in our wedding colors. I wanted to do a couple of mason jars of those anyway, to put around the table, so I thought that might be a nice little sendoff.
I LOVE M&Ms and it's not a little chachki that will sit around for years until you finally decide that no one will miss it if you throw it in the Goodwill box.
I have not been to a bunch of weddings, especially not during my adult life, but the one that I did go to they gave out little "tiffany" boxes of jordan almonds and turquoise shot glasses that had stickers with their names and wedding date. Honestly, I wasn't impressed - and still have this shot glass sitting around, it moves from one shelf to another in search of a purpose (we don't drink) and still has yet to find one. I definitely wouldn't have cared, and would've actually preferred not to recieve the favors. But, I was never much of a favor person anyway, I didn't even like them at birthday parties as a kid, I'd get home and be like "this stuff is junk..."
I'm doing favors now only because I decided to skip the candy buffet and I want to give candy.. But I don't think they're required at all. You're already feeding and entertaining people, you don't need to give them a tiny gift!
I agree favors aren't necessary. There is nothing I hate more than seeing a jordan almond.
I'm an Ohio bride with a Thanksgiving weekend wedding. This is also the day of the OSU Michigan game which is kind of a big deal in the midwest. Our favors will be homemade buckeyes in simple favor boxes. I'm getting the these type of favor boxes and maybe jazzing them up with a stamp or seal.
I'm going do a trial and make some buckeyes and freeze them so see how the taste and texture are. If I had to worry about this the week of the wedding the favors wouldn't happen.
Buying favors is not in the budget. And who needs another votive candle holder or mini picture frame? I want both guys and girls to like their favors so buckeyes or cookies it is!
Sooo....I'm one of those people who cares that I don't get a favor. It's not so much that I want that little picture frame to take home, but it's more of the fact that the bride and groom didn't think to thank us for coming to the wedding in some way. My favorite favor is the donation since I feel like the money went to good use. When I see that on the table, I just feel like it's their way of saying "thanks" for supporting them as a couple.
Sorry to be a party pooper! And please no yelling at me b/c I like to get a favor! 
EDIT: BTW...I don't think it's cheap not to offer a favor at all, as a guest, I just don't feel as appreciated when I don't see one.
We are doing the candy buffet in place of the favors - we wanted to do something edible and figured this was a good way to go - now looking at the cost of candy I think maybe home baking would have been better and is also a great idea but have already puchased all the vases for the candy. But I don't think people would miss the favors - most of the time they get left behind on the tables - what is a bride to do with 50 wine stoppers??
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