does this "raise alarms" for you?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

If everyone who has ever made up an excusd to not go to a party is a no-good liar, there are A LOT of no-good lying people! I wouldn’t be too worried about it.

Post # 3
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Does it raise alarms? About him, not really. About their relationship, yes. 

Sorry but this sounds very “high schoolish” and not grown adults. It sounds like she doesn’t trust him and not by what the other person said. Why does she want to answer his phone, because she doesn’t trust him? They have only been together a month. That is nothing. He’s a liar by reputation all by what she “heard”?? Pahleez!! How about being adult and asking him, getting to know him, trusting him until he breaks that trust with her. 

To act like a drunk fool asking to answer his phone after only a month, already questioning his trust…now THAT raises alarms. 

Post # 4
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

i think lying to get out of parties counts as a ‘white lie’, and is fine as long as you aren’t an ass about it. I think she should be aware of this pattern in him and confront him if it ever becomes an issue with her, or she thinks he is lying about other stuff. In the meanwhile, it’s only been a month, she should enjoy getting to know her new love interest! 

Also, most of us do things we aren’t proud of while teenagers, it’s a very selfish age. I don’t think she should worry too much.

Post # 5
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It raises alarms for me, but not about him. The alarms are about drunk girl asking him to pick her up, and drunk girl wanting to answer his phone.

Post # 6
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

anonybee0810:  Maria is being ridiculous. The relationship is only a month old – they’re not even officially bf and gf. It’s fine for Paul to be coy about it to his friends for a while.

That said, I think it’s a concern that “all her other friends” say he’s a “liar by reputation”. Unless there’s a reason why all the girls would irrationally hate him (e.g. one of their group had a hurtful breakup with him so they all side with him), then that’s a red flag. I think Maria should tread carefully.

Post # 7
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

julies1949:  I disagree. Phoning bf was the responsible thing to do, and answering bf’s phone is just a bit of fun.

Post # 8
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

aussiemum1248:  Thet aren’t bf/gf by their own definition, and I would think that she might want to make a better impression on some guy she has been dating for just over a month,than phoning him drunk.

I’m sure she had other options to get home safely. A taxi perhaps? What would she have done 4 short weeks ago before she met him?

Wanting to answer his phone was snooping, not a bit of fun.

Post # 9
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Ugh, we’re being judged for what we did in high school now? I echo PPs: the alarm bells aren’t ringing because of him–it’s her behavior I find a bit disconcerting. 

Post # 11
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

anonybee0810:  Oh I see – if they’re all reacting to one story that’s rather different then.

Post # 12
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I dunno, it sounds like he is probably dating someone else. I am unsure about the party nonsense. Guys who are friends usually don’t have to lie about these types of things. A party is not as as serious as they are making it sound. They are not even official like that yet. This entire issue seems silly…

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

anonybee0810:  sorry I do this all the time. 

 

some people get butt hurt when I say “sorry, I just want to stay in with SO tonight” as apparently I could do that anytime and it’s not an acceptable excuse?  so I have to say we’re actually doing something. 

Post # 14
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

No matter how much I loved someone, I would not let them drunkenly answer my phone, ever. Friend, partner, I don’t care. But also it’s awkward to ditch parties and lots of people make up excuses. If anything, this experience should show her how interested in her he is, how caring and supportive, and how he’s willing to go out of way for her.

Post # 15
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think the lying would raise alarm bells for me. If I was dating someone and picked them up because they were too drunk to get home, I wouldn’t want them answering my phone regardless of who is calling. They are drunk, why would I want them talking to someone I know in their drunken state? It would raise more alarm bells that they are asking to answer my phone drunk, it would irritate me and I find that behavior childish.  

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors