Post # 1
My Fiance and I are not particularly religious people and after (lots and lots and lots) of debate/tears with his mother, we are not getting married in a church. We are planning to have the wedding and reception at a historic estate, with a beautiful formal garden – ceremony in the garden, reception inside. The thing that has always driven me crazy about weddings is the whole idea that you make your guests stand around and wait, with no food or drinks, for (sometimes) hours on end. I wanted to do away with all that, and my plan was that as the guests arrive, they would be greeted with a sip of our signature cocktail, and invited to have a little bite to eat before heading out back for the ceremony. The reception itself is going to be less formal, and more like a party – my idea was lots of passed appetizers, fun stations, etc., all to begin immediately following the ceremony.
I’ve been super excited about this whole idea, and mentioned our plans to FI’s aunt and uncle a few weeks ago – and they basically shot me down completly, and told me that we live in a traditional part of the country (New England!) and that if a wedding is not traditional, people will feel uncomfortable and be unhappy. They also stated that eating and drinking before the ceremony was a horrible idea, and that it seemed to indicate that we weren’t taking marriage seriously! I do take it seriously – I just wanted to throw a really awesome party! This aunt and uncle are not particularly close, and the aunt lives on the west coast and might not even make it back for the wedding. Should I take what they are saying into account, and modify my plans, or just ignore them and continue on with what I want?
Post # 3
Trust me – your guests will LOVE it. I’ve been a wedding coordinator for years and one of the nicest add on touches I’ve had brides do that people talked about was beverages before the ceremony.
You’re on the right track with keeping it limited- bottled water, a signature cocktail or champagne punch, and depending on your crowd some lemonade or something is awesome.
Ceremonies will start a little late, and it gives those who arrive early a chance to mingle and begin celebrating your marriage right away 🙂
Post # 4
Do what you want, it’s your wedding! Why on earth would you even listen to an aunt and uncle regarding your wedding choices. With that said I do agree it’s a little different to get a drink and food before the ceremony. I had the same thinking as you, I didn’t want people to wait so I just made sure I was on time. Everyone was at the venue (which is where we had the ceremony and reception) I arrived on time at 3 p.m. which is when we immediately started the ceremony, it lasted 15-20 minutes then we sent our guests upstairs for appetizers & drinks while we did pictures, then it was dinner time. I’ve heard a lot of positive feedback from people on how they loved not having to wait around for the wedding to start and how it went quick then they got food etc. It just flowed really well for us.
Good luck in your planning.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn
Unless that aunt and uncle are funding the wedding, you are under no obligation to do what they are advising you to do. If they are, then you need to consider it. If not, she said her piece and you are free to ignore her advice. 🙂
Post # 6
I saw this on four weddings once and the girls loved it! I wouldn’t suggest serving alchy before the ceremony though, wouldn’t want any crazy people who can’t hold their liquor making a fool of themselves during the ceremony!
Post # 7
I think it sounds like a great idea! Do what you want!
Post # 8
Ignore them entirely! I’m sure if they can’t make it, there will be plenty of Bees willing to take their place. =)
What you’re planning sounds awesome and unique and I absolutely love it. Weddings are far from traditional now, regardless of where you live. Do what you want. I guarantee your guests will enjoy it.
Post # 9
Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it. I love the idea. I’m planning on serving lemonade, iced tea and bottled water before the ceremony. mainly because I’m having my wedding in June, in Savannah, outside. I don’t want my guests to faint!
I think it’ll be fun though — go for it!
Post # 10
I think it sounds great! My sister did this– she had the bar open before the wedding and it was lovely. I’m sure his Aunt and Uncle will like it a lot more once they are sipping your fabulous signature cocktail.
Post # 11
Honestly, I’m not crazy about food and drink before the ceremony. The wedding ceremony doesnt go on for hours and hours so its not like the guests cant wait till after to eat. But Its your day so you should do what you want.
Post # 12
Thanks for the opinions, everyone – it’s such a touchy issue for me partly because it’s not my family, and I want to make a good impression, and partly because I’ve already made my stand about not having the wedding in a church – I don’t want to ruffle any more feathers than I already have!
Post # 13
I’ve been to a wedding where guests had drinks and appetizers before getting golf-carted to a remote part of a golf course for the ceremony. It was all nice–randomly, the groom and everyone but the bride were milling about before the wedding. Laid back! The ceremony definitely started an hour late though, and everything got a little soaked when it started raining at the end of the ceremony. It could have been a disaster, but it all worked out.
All that to say, apps and drinks before the ceremony worked out just fine. 🙂