Post # 1
DH and I aren’t technically trying (no charting, temping and such) to get pregnant BUT if it happens, it happens. I don’t know if one would consider us TTC, but something is bugging me.
I have about a 5 minute tolerance for “baby talk”. This is not something I’m proud of! I genuinely care about my friends who are pregnant and those who have newborns. I have a niece I adore, friends with kids that I love… but after a few minutes of conversation about kids–I’m out! Everythings good? Jr’s sleeping through the night? Your ultrasound went well? GREAT, I’m genuinely happy. 30 minutes later… I’m checked out.
Anyone else like this? I like kids, I want kids, but I can’t imagine my entire vocabulary consisting of “pampers”, “breast pumps” and “nap times”. Any moms out there or pregnant gals NOT go full fledged into mommy land? Is it even possible or am I destined to fall into it head first and not even know it! I know it’s new, exciting and A LOT to process; but does the shock of it all ever wear off? Just curious to hear different people weigh in on this and how they handled it!
Post # 3
YES – too much Mommy talk bugs me. To be fair – any conversation about one topic would bore me after awhile, but it is a whole nother ballgame when it comes to kid talk.
I am currently expecting – and besides giving updates to people who ask, I am not trying to shift the axis of the globe to be about me, just as I am not interested in listening to dissertations about others – or their kids.
I enjoy balanced well rounded interaction with people. A few weekends ago I got together with a group of friends and two of us are expecting. We talked about it when we got together to share some details, but not for long, and the rest of the evening was spent talking about a lot of other things.
I have already ran into a few people who don’t let the baby conversation go, and have already told DH there is no way I am spending a lot of time with those people after baby gets here. I refuse to spend entire social engagements locked into conversation with known baby-talkers… especially once they consider me one of their own, lol.
Post # 4
Not really. My little sister was 20 when she had her first so I feel like we became mom/aunt so early on that it’s a pretty big part of our relationship. My best friend, who is mom to a toddler, does limit the mommy talk and likes to go out on her own.
Post # 5
@Mrs_Amanda: I have two children and pregnant with my third and I can’t stay “mommy talk”. Obviously, I want to hear if my niece is sick or if my nephew made a great play in t-ball, but I honestly don’t care to hear a play by play of anyone’s kids’ actions.
For me, it’s important to be a person and not just a parent… difficult coming from someone who is a stay at home mom, but I’m a full time student, involved in volunteering and local organizations, have tons of hobbies, etc. I think you have to make a conscious effort to not get sucked into mommyland, really. I’m still a person. Still a wife. Still a woman. I just happen to have kids, too.
Post # 6
@Mrs_Amanda: Yes, i have a limit. My book club is really bad about this as all of the girls except for me have children under 2 and/or are pregnant. Inevitably, the conversation turns to kids immediately and I get pretty bored. However, as I am newly pregnant maybe my tolerance will change? We’ll see.
Post # 7
Yes. Definitely! We just spent the weekend with my FSIL, her husband and their two kids and while I completely adore the kids, I just find it too much when every single thing is all about them. There’s more to life than children!
Post # 8
@Mrs_Amanda: I actually love talking about kids!
Post # 9
Not pregnant and no plans to get pregnant here… so yah, I absolutely can’t relate to mmommy talk. I’ll ask polite questions to make conversation but that’s about it. I think people can probably tell I don’t have a freaking clue what I’m talking about so that probably stops most of the mommy talk in its tracks!
I do have a coworker who is a very sarcastic, no bullshit type of girl. She has a 6 month old now and it hasn’t changed her (from what I hear, I don’t see her often). She talks to the baby like she would talk to anyone else, makes jokes about him, etc. I think it’s awesome that she has stayed very much like herself despite this massive change in her life.
Post # 10
I’m with you, it can get dull fast! But I seem to have different tolerances for different people. A coworker had a really hard time conceiving, multiple rounds of IVF, etc. so when she got pregnant, I was genuinely happy for her and loved to hear her talk about it. She also was really good at still talking about other things and generally carrying on great conversation.
Another friend swore she never wanted to have kids, hated parents, etc. She changed her mind, got pregnant, and only ever talked about the pregnancy/baby. She even stopped asking how other people were doing, and only ever talked about herself and the baby. Ugh.
Post # 11
I think, like anything else, it’s hard to maintain interest in a conversation where you aren’t part of the topic being discussed. I don’t think you’re cold or unkind or anything.
All of our friends are either recently married, getting married this month, or married and newly pregnant or maybe have some kids. So when we see them, that’s all anyone talks about, which makes sense: they all have that in common, I’m the only one who isnt a mother…so I mentally check out. Always have.
Now, though, since we have started getting my BFs kids part-time, I’m suddenly finding myself reaching out to them for advice or a listening ear. It’s funny too how some of the moms I don’t know super well are suddenly treating me in a more welcoming fashion, like I now bring something to the table as far as conversation that they care about :-p
Post # 12
I LOVE children and loving hearing about children and talking about children. That said, I don’t want to talk about ANY one topic for more than a few minutes. I don’t know anybody who talks incessantly about their children though, it’s usually a quick “How are the kids?” “Oh good, Susie is starting to walk and Bobby lost his first tooth” “Oh how cute. Did you watch Game of Thrones this week?” and the conversation continues on that thread, lol.
Post # 13
Hmm. I think usually I don’t mind, but mostly because I’m observing them to see what motherhood actually looks like. We probably want a baby, maybe just one and not for 3 or 4 more years. I’m awfully curious about it all. Especially when it’s my sister because I think she’s doing an awesome job.
On the other hand, I don’t think I know anyone who really goes overboard and dominates the conversation with it. I know if/when I get pregnant I will work really hard to not be obnoxious. I’m completely wedding crazy right now, but I severely limit the wedding talk around everyone except my mom and my FI unless someone asks directly.
Post # 14
@Mrs_Amanda: Yes! I’m more than happy to talk about names and go shopping for baby clothes. I want to hear about it when your kid says their first word or takes their first steps. But I’m not interested in hearing about things like poop consitency or nipple chafing.
I have friends who I met through mommy-related activities and we do give each other advice and reccommendations, but we mainly talk about other things. If all I have in common with another mom is our kids then we wouldn’t be friends.
I would never engage in mommy talk with somebody who doesn’t have kids, though. If you don’t have children then it’s boring as hell to listen to someone talk about them for an hour.
Post # 15
@Fizzy8: I’m kind of in the middle of my friends in regards to who is pregnant or a new mom. I’m quickly becoming the minority, though! I think a lot of them are aware of how annoying it can be so they reel it in. On the other hand, there’s a couple that cannot talk/think/cook dinner without some how talking about baby stuff. THAT gets to me more than the usual baby talk common amongst young or new moms.
Post # 16
@Mrs_Amanda: Fair enough. A little self awareness goes a long way. If they don’t notice that you’re not interested anymore it’s a total bummer… They should be paying more attention for sure. That goes for any topic.