Does your FI spend too much money?

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: Does your SO spend too much money
    Yes : (63 votes)
    29 %
    No : (92 votes)
    43 %
    I am the spender : (54 votes)
    25 %
    Other-Explain : (7 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My FI is the spender, that goodnes not on guns but he loves his computer sh*t, and video games and gadgets….I believe he spends too much money, but we can afford it, so I guess it’s not really spending TOO much, but I believe he could spend WAY less! I almost never spend money, unless I really need it, so spending $ 500 on a new Ipad seems insane to me, when you already have a good Ipad, but, on the other hand, he doens’t drink, no smoking, doesn’t go to clubs or bars…so I guess it’s okay. A gun collection, worth thousands that he will not use…I would totally be pisses about that! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    13005 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My husband is not a big spender at all.  Spending half of his savings on a gun does not sound like a smart financial move, I would not be able to deal with it.  We’re both savers and have trouble with ‘splurging’.  When we do splurge, it’s not even 5% of what we have saved.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I am the spender in our relationship, although he does regularly buy video games he is very good at saving. I am the one who spends money as soon as I get it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I can understand your frustration! Thankfully I don’t have this problem with my FI but if I did, I’m not sure if I’d want to marry him, due to previous experience. Coming out of a marriage where my ex-husband and I were never on the same page financially, I’ve promised myself to never do that again. Agreeing on how to spend your money is a really big deal and something that can cause you to build resentment over time if one person doesn’t respect the other’s opinion. I would have a serious talk with him about this and figure out ahead of time how your money is going to be spent, and let him know that big purchase items should be agreed upon before hand.  You guys are partners and should have equal say on the bigger decisions, even if he makes more money than you. Good luck!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My husband is a bit of a spender & it does bother me sometimes.

    But, I’m also guilty at times as well.

    We are both fairly decent with money, but tomorrow we are sitting down & doing a formal budget so that we are more financial aware, & then I will see how much we can even afford to spend. We make peanuts & have quite a few little bills, so it’ll be fun to see how little we really have left over.. yay.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @BakerBee16:  My FI makes about 3 times as much as me and he pays far more than half the bills and has insisted on this since we moved in together. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    NO paying half of the bills when you make less (esp that much less) than your FI is not cool IMO I think splitting 50/50 makes people feel and seem like roommates. There’s no “yours and mine”, it should all be “ours” and the bills should be paid according to who makes the money. I would have a conversation with him NOW about the bills. Leave the guns out of it though (but keep an eye on his habits, money breaks up so many couples)

    Post # 13
    Member
    8706 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    He spends money much more easily than I do, but he doesn’t spend insane amounts of money.

    I am painfully frugal, he’ll buy the small luxuries he wants where I refuse because I cannot justify them, even though we can easily afford them.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2684 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 1996

    I think a fair way to split the bills would be by percentage of income. For example, say your monthly bills total $2000. (The amount isn’t important, this is just an example!) If you make $1000 a month and he makes $4000 a month, you could contribute $500 to the bills and he could contribut $1500. That way you each have some discretionary funds for “fun” spending. In this example, if you’re splitting the bills in half, you would have no spending money at all, and that’s not fair! (I also don’t think it’s fair that you have paid all the money toward the wedding and he has paid none. That’s messed up. If it were me, I would be seriously reconsidering this relationship.)

    Post # 15
    Member
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    You should never be scared to bring up money-related concerns with your fiance/husband. Money issues is one of the biggest reasons for divorce, so being able to talk about stuff like that openly and honestly is super important. When the two of you get married, it won’t be “your money” and “my money” anymore, but “our money.”

    Post # 16
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    We don’t live together yet, but when we do we will be doing the percentage system.

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