(Closed) Does your fiance/hubbie work from home?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s hard, but you have to remember that during “working” hours he’s at work.

He should be able to put his lunch dishes away (i.e. he’d have to do that in an office environment), but as far as making dinner/cleaning up the apartment/etc. His company isn’t paying him to do those things, so he shouldn’t do them during work hours.

Maybe you could try and make some compromises with him. Talk to him about how important it is for you to have the bed made (so maybe he can wake up 10 min earlier and make it) and that it is important that he at least clean up after himself at lunch (since he’d have to do that in an office environment anyway).

If you think from his employer’s stand point, they’d probably be upset to learn he was cleaning the apartment or making dinner when he’s actually supposed to be working.

It’s nice the company is being so generous and letting him telecommute, but it’s also good he is respecting that and actually working from home rather than pretending to work.

Post # 4
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I work from home.  My FI leaves me in bed everyday snuggled with the dogs. When he comes over in the evening, I am usually still in my pajamas.

Some days I can manage to do a little laundry during conference calls or put the dishes away.  Other days, I am glued to my computer for 10 hrs straight.  I work for a large international firm so that sometimes requires a 2am conference call. 

He was annoyed at first, but I remind him that a time will come when he’s trying to grow his career and he’ll have his turn at working crazy hours.  He used to also call and say “What’s for dinner tonight?” and I’d respond with “Whatever you pick up on the way home!”.

I think you should focus on the benefit of no longer being in a Long Distance Relationship and cut the guy some slack. 

Post # 5
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

If you consider going to the unemployment website clicking twice and making his weekly wages working from home then yes, yes he does. 😉

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Also, another thing to add. Depending on how his telecommuting is set up they may be monitoring what he’s doing on the computer, how often he using the keyboard/mouse or even have a video line set up.

Depending on the level of monitoring they are doing (to make sure he is working) doing those extra things around the house could be detrimental to his job or end the telecommuting option.

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My FI works from home. At first I thought it was really nice because he was there when I left in the morning and there when I got back. But then I started getting so frustrated because he would leave plates here and there and lay in bed while “working”. And then of course there is the lack of making dinner and what not.

But like other bees have mentioned, I started to realize he actually is working even if he is laying in bed lol. And he does try to help when he is done work so that makes things a lot better. He will wash dishes and clean up a bit. Bed never gets made but whatever, I learn to live with it.

Post # 8
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@KatNYC2011: Yep that is true. FI’s boss is constantly checking on him and does voice and video chat a few times a day. It was funny at first because he would just wear a nice shirt and no pants and his boss would never know.  

Post # 9
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ tranquility – that is sooo funny he’d wear only a nice shirt!  My team often jokes about video conferencing from home. 

I’m so used to being alone that I have to be very careful when I go into the office.  I’ve definitely been busted rolling my eyes during in person team meetings.  Oops!

Post # 11
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

DH works from home on Fridays (he travels for work the rest of the week) and like the PPs said, during working hours, he is working.  He can’t make dinner, wash clothes, or vacuum any better than you can from the office.

He should be able to put his lunch dishes away.  But I think the making the bed issue is completely unrelated to his work schedule and is more an issue of the needed compromises when two different people start living together.  Maybe you can make a deal that since he is still sleeping during the week, the bed doesn’t get made (his preference), but on weekends, you work together to make the bed each day (your preference).

Post # 12
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Try to put yourself in his position maybe? I work from home and it is not that awesome. Yes I am often still in pjs at 6pm (am right now actually) and its nice that I don’t have a commute… but I can’t even tell you how it frustrates me that my husband and family seem to forget that i am actually working! I am not a housewife. I am not a maid. I have a job and I get paid. I just happen to work from home. And also? working from home can be incredibly depressing and lonely. I miss having coworkers so much! No one to ever chat to (except on WB!), no one to go to lunch with, no one to have inside jokes with. He could be having a hard time with the transition himself. 

Post # 13
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@CorgiTales: I actually came back to mention trying to have empathy for my FI. I can tell he gets cabin fever. Sometimes he will go days without stepping outside. And I can tell he gets SO bored! Sometimes he will take any excuse to come with me to the store or do stuff outside of the house. I feel bad for him some days!

Post # 14
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@tranquility: lol yea. while it is nice to be ABLE to stay in pjs all day… sometimes the fact that you have no reason to get dressed is pretty depressing. haha

Post # 15
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s great the company is willing to let him telecommute, but is there any chance they can be flexible on matching schedules to his time zone?  If it’s only one hour, it’s not a big deal but if you are off by three hours, that can be tough to deal with on a long term basis.  Maybe he can talk to them about shifting his hours back part of the time zone difference.

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